Used for Sex

**FeelingUsed** · 11-10-13, 11:56 PM

I was setup on a blind date by my cousin with her boyfriend's co-worker/close buddy. We went on a couple of dates. Both of us had just been through rough breakups. I explained that I was looking for a bit more substance in my life then just sex. He said he was on the same page. He hadn't had sex in 7 months since his divorce... He is building a new chapter. He said all the right things to make me think he was being sincere and wanted more than just sex.

I live in another town 2 hours from him he came over Tuesday and stayed the night, he was being relentless but I thought from our prior conversations that he was going to be a stand up guy and that we were on the same page, essentially one thing lead to another you know the story. Since then I haven't heard one peep from him. Takes 2 seconds to send a text. So I assume he got what he wanted. All the things he had said was just what I wanted to hear to get me into bed. If someone can go 7 months supposedly without sex why would they waste that for a hit & quit, and drive 4 hours.

I feel cheap and used and hurt. I had a relationship that ended badly prior to this so this has just put me off completely. Why do this to someone? Especially when you are being setup on a blind date by two close friends, one being my relative. Just seems douchey.

I really don't know if there is an appropriate amount of time to wait before being intimate, I suppose until you have a sealed commitment and actually know someone. But how do you really know people's intentions, especially if they pretend to have all the best intentions that you do. I have had other girlfriends who waited 2 months and once they do the deed bam the guy bolts. Is it because the sex is bad or they realize that they just aren't into you? Maybe they have other things up their sleeves. IDK.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 12-10-13, 12:09 AM

Yes, it takes two seconds to send a text..have you sent him one?

**FeelingUsed** · 12-10-13, 12:10 AM

I have not sent him one. I guess I figure if a man is interested he will text, at the very least.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 12-10-13, 12:19 AM

Riiiight. The classic, "I want him to do things I'm not willing to do". I will say that you're probably right if you're used to regular contact and haven't heard from him in 3 days. How long were you seeing him? Anyway, there's no length of time as your friends found out, so get your commitment up front.

**Starnique** · 12-10-13, 12:23 AM

Well you could text him and say what's up or hi or something. However, as a female you do feel some kind of way. Especially if he was going so hard to get you. As far as getting to know people first and getting a commitment, I think it really just depends on the guy. If he was being relentless that night, I personally would've been thinking maybe he just want sex because he trying to hard or he could've just been really into you and wanted you. If he was that relentless, you should've read into that. The only Way you'll really know if he was using you was if you don't text him and he never texts either, then yeah he probably did just want sex or if you hit him up and he never replies or something.

**FeelingUsed** · 12-10-13, 12:28 AM

We saw each other for about 2 weeks and text pretty regular every other day. I really think if a man wants a girl he will at least shoot out a text keeping that line of communication open. If he got what he wanted then why contact her. I guess I don't believe a word of what he said about being celibate, especially when he acted that way towards me? Or maybe he was and the intimacy of being with someone else scared him off. Crazy. I was thinking about messaging him on Facebook. I think I will wait until Monday to see what plays out, if I get nothing then I will contact him and tell him that I think the way he acted was very douchey. Or I could just take it as what it was and move on.

**Starnique** · 12-10-13, 12:34 AM

You know what? I actually agree with you . Yeah girl, do what you got to do and mark it as a learning experience if it don't work out.

Btw, you should pick a diff username. Keep your head held high. Username screams defeat.

**FeelingUsed** · 12-10-13, 12:41 AM

I feel a little defeated right now. I hate people who lie and are fake. I spoke to my cousin last night she is totally pissed off, her boyfriend was put-off too. I mean if you are looking for just sex go out get it. If someone you know sets you up on a blind date with someone in their family I think it would behoove you to have a little bit more class or just not take it there in the first place.

**HeartIsAching** · 12-10-13, 01:13 AM

Oh for ****s sake. Text him or call him and find out. Why the hell is it up to him to contact you? Because he has a penis?

**Starnique** · 12-10-13, 01:20 AM

Yeah, try to reach out to him by text or messaging or something. That's the only way you're really going to know. Yes, I am a woman who feel like its polite to hit me up after that.

**HeartIsAching** · 12-10-13, 01:24 AM

I'm thinkin' the pussy wasn't all that good.

**Starnique** · 12-10-13, 01:28 AM

No you didn't. You are wrong for that.

**HeartIsAching** · 12-10-13, 01:30 AM

No I didn't? Yeah, I did.

**Starnique** · 12-10-13, 01:38 AM

Bring it down a lil bit. Don't be a smart ass with me.

Anyway, some guys are just like that. However he is close enough to her to be planning another visit so who knows what he's thinking. You sure don't.

**surfhb2** · 12-10-13, 01:41 AM

Let me get this straight? You bang a guy you barely know and get All butt hurt when he doesn't call? Classic!

The guy did nothing wrong.....he just not into you. Not a damn thing wrong with not calling again if the sex was bad.....who wants to deal with that in a relationship?

This is all you you I'm afraid....if you're in it for a relationship, don't sleep with a guy unless you know he's on board

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