Why is he doing this?

**4blossoms** · 12-10-13, 08:26 PM

One of my classmates recently offered to help me with homework and said he'd meet me every Tuesday before class. I know this takes effort because he works full-time at a demanding job and goes to class at night. This week the professor didn't give any homework and I didn't hear from him, so I asked if we could meet up to review notes for the midterm. I emailed him Friday night at 7:30 pm. I don't know if the timing was bad because he emailed back to meet him next Monday night at 8 pm at his company's offices (he works for a big bank). That seemed weird and kind of offensive. I'm not looking for some casual hookup so I declined. Then he emails back "what time would work for you?" I said 3 pm, he asks for 4. Whatever, so I agreed and asked what is the address of the building. Sudden total silence. Then the next day he emails back with the address.

Does he seem kind of flakey to you?

**DalM0m** · 12-10-13, 08:56 PM

Not flaking at all. Just because we have the ability to instantly communicate, doesn't mean it's required. You -- his study buddy who is doing a favor for -- are not a priority. He responded back when it was convenient for him. Nothing more. Nothing less.

**4blossoms** · 12-10-13, 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by DalM0m

Not flaking at all. Just because we have the ability to instantly communicate, doesn't mean it's required. You -- his study buddy who is doing a favor for -- are not a priority. He responded back when it was convenient for him. Nothing more. Nothing less.

But I'm a study buddy and potential love interest / fling. Seems like he ought to be more attentive than this.

**smackie9** · 12-10-13, 11:25 PM

You are reading too much into this......even if you both got together, he doesn't really have the time for you anyways.

**4blossoms** · 13-10-13, 06:34 AM

Smackie9, why do you think he doesn't have the time for me? Past behavior indicates future behavior? He did reply back around noon today with the address. But if you mean it's because he works in banking, yes, you might be right.

**basilandthyme** · 13-10-13, 06:58 AM

4blossoms, I've read this post and your other. I'm confused as to why you think that you're a potential love interest - it looks to me like he's just a regular study buddy. And if he IS just a regular study buddy, it's not at all weird and offensive for him to take days to respond to your email. It's likely he was too busy with friends and other stuff to think about tutoring over the weekend.

Has he shown any interest in dating you? Is there any romance which you've neglected to tell us?

**surfhb2** · 13-10-13, 08:16 AM

You're delusional.....he's not interested in you

**4blossoms** · 13-10-13, 01:12 PM

basilandthyme, I am not positive that he is romantically interested but I'm getting a gut feeling based on little things. A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in class and during a break he came by and we chatted. He seemed kind of nervous, so I tried to make casual small talk and asked if he was working on homework in a study group. He said yes he was in an online study group and quickly invited me to join. I already had my own study group and wasn't looking for another but said yes anyway since I liked him. After joining the group I found it was going too fast, so thanked him and left the group. He then emailed me to ask if I wanted to meet up every Tuesday in person to go over the homework. He works in investment banking and I know they have crazy 60-80 hour work weeks. That he was going to go all the way to campus on a day when there isn't even any class just to tutor me weekly--I thought that was very generous of him.

Last Friday I asked if he had time to meet before the midterm. He said yes, let's meet at his office on Monday at 8 pm. I said I can't since I live far away and don't like to go home too late. I thanked him and said "it's fine, the professor should have extra office hours next week." Then he asked "what time would work for you on monday?" So, I told him an earlier time and he agreed. Why doesn't he just say"ok, if you're still stuck on anything just email me" or something like that? Why go out of his way to meet me on a holiday no less? Nobody is *that* nice. Even our mutual friend in the same class who I talk to a lot more and who knows my situation better has never once offered to help me with homework.

**smackie9** · 14-10-13, 03:50 AM

So what if he has an interest....he could never fulfill any expectation of yours where is comes to being in a relationship. Stop being so desperate.....desperation leads to making poor choices and disappointment.

If anything it would turn into a booty call instead of studying for exams. It wouldn't surprise me if this is what he has in mind due to his limited time.

**smackie9** · 14-10-13, 03:51 AM

Tip: some guys will do and say anything to get sex.

**4blossoms** · 14-10-13, 04:35 AM

Yeah, I need to cut out the desperation part. It's hard though. He's 14 years younger and pretty hot.

**smackie9** · 14-10-13, 06:39 AM

So then it's a Mrs.Robinson thing eh? Why didn't you mention that in the first place? Maybe it's a fantasy of his to get with an older woman....Just tell him you want to rawk his world and see what happens. Nothing wrong with getting some hot energetic sex out of it.

**4blossoms** · 14-10-13, 11:16 AM

Where is the 'Like' button for these forum comments?

**4blossoms** · 15-10-13, 06:35 AM

Wow, I'm floored. I met up with my classmate to go over homework today. He casually mentions in conversation that he has a girlfriend. I think "oh well, I guess he really is just a sweet guy to go out of his way to help me like this." Fast forward 10 minutes and I still sense nervousness and definite romantic/sexual interest (mirroring movements, etc). He seems to want to keep meeting up with me. Wow, so he tells me he has girlfriend and is still hoping I'll sleep with him? He is a cheater and also not a super nice guy. I guess what looks too good to be true usually is.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 15-10-13, 06:40 AM

So, he told you he has a girlfriend, made no sexual advance or innuendo, and he is now a cheating sack of shit?

Did you guys actually study and review?

Did you ever think that maybe it's so obvious that you're an idiot, that he just wanted to help you pass?

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