My ex (now best friend) tells me she still loves me after I started dating again.

[Sammy007]

I was with my ex for 2 years and we broke up on mutual agreements because it did not work (mostly because of me but those reasons have changed), however we remained extremely close and have been best friends since which is about 3 years now (we still do everything together and see each other nearly every day). Neither of us has dating since because of the fear of hurting each other - so basically neither ever moved on.

For the first couple of years I suggested getting back together and tried to pursue it but never eventuated into anything - basically she turned me away. For most of this year I tried to remove most of those feelings and for the very first time starting dating again a few weeks ago. I did not tell my ex/best friend basically because I was too scared to. Eventually I decided to mention it with the hope that it was going to be all good and she had moved on. WRONG. Turns out she was still in love with me the whole time and was just too scared to say it and that she did see us getting back together in the future, getting married, kids, growing old together.

I removed those feelings because I thought I had to. I am extremely smitten by this new girl, a little too much considering it's only been 3 weeks but I know she feels the same way about me. My ex is absolutely heart broken and it is killing me inside to see her so upset - I am literally dying seeing how sad she is. I have told my new girl that I am too emotionally distraught atm to pursue anything so things are on hold. I can not stop thinking about my ex and this new girl and I just don't know what to do anyway. I had wanted to get back with my ex for so long, but mostly since meeting this new girl, those feelings have dwindled a lot. I know I would still have a great future with my ex but I've just lost those love feelings... but do i throw everything we had away because of someone I have only been dating 3 weeks? This is more a physiological thing.. 1 month ago I would have got back with my ex. Will my feelings for my ex come back after my feelings for the new girl has gone? I know it sounds like I'm being a complete jerk to the new girl, but she actually understands it very well because has been almost in the exact same situation.

[basilandthyme]

Sammy, you may be a bit of a jerk to your new girlfriend - but your ex-girlfriend is jerk supreme. She has absolutely no right to knock you back in the past and change her mind when you move on. I'll lay money that if you hadn't moved on, she would never have come out and confessed as she did. She's playing you like a puppet.

What you do have to be careful of is that your relationship with your ex is too close and too inappropriate for you to continue if you are to start dating again. No girl with any self respect is going to put up with you having an ex as a best friend and talking to her daily. The only female 'best friend' you should have is your girlfriend.

I say that what your ex has done is called "too little, too late". It's time to move on from and start afresh with a new love. It may or may not work, but it's time to move on nonetheless.

[smackie9]

Your ex is full of BS. She is just being jealous to see you with a new GF that makes you real happy. The selfish bitch is trying to destroy your happiness. She's seeing your new GF as a threat to the friendship....far from it, it's her that is destroying the friendship, and if I were you I would end it with your ex for good. It will not be the biggest mistake of your life, it will be the healthiest thing, next to meeting someone new, that you have done since the breakup.

[Hightower]

No offense, but this is the way I deal with an ex. Cut ties with them. It doesn't mean you can't be friendly to them if you bump into them at the grocery store or not. But you always have to ask yourself WHY you broke up with them. Obviously there is a reason. And if she was all that and a bag of chips she wouldn't just be your "best friend", but much more. So in my opinion either cut ties with your ex and move on and have a healthy relationship with someone new, or discover that your ex was the real "one" all along and stay with her. Never remain "good friends" with an ex. It leads to nothing good.

[searock]

This is a perfect example of why it's a stupid idea to "stay friends" with an ex. What were you thinking, remaining in constant contact and seeing each other every day? WTF dude? You really didn't see this coming?

Anyway, no point crying spilt milk. What you must do now is ask yourself if you are able to let your ex finally go, or if you're going to regret doing it later on. If you are unable to let her go, by all means give your relationship another go (it will not work because you are not in love with her, but at least you'll have no regrets). Once it fails again, you can do what you should have done the first time, and cut contact with her for good.

[basilandthyme]

*sabotage* I don't know why I didn't think of that word last night.....but it's what your ex is doing to your new relationship. She's simply being selfish