Did you have an emotionally absent father and did/does it affect your relationships?

[bessieb]

Absent father, dealt with it later in life, brought feelings of rejection mainly, had therapy didn't help, ended up dealing with it and realising it wasn't my fault, put the lid on and became a better and happier person

[Cpl9183]

I think parents are role models for their children whether they like it or not. A boy's impression of women is affected by his relationship with his mother. A girl's impression of men is affected by her relationship with her father.

My father was abusive when I was a kid. I've worked through the child abuse issues but still have an estranged relationship with him. I'll visit my parents' house but don't really talk to my father. To this day he still sometimes ignores me when I try to have a conversation. Growing up I'd tell him about something that was important to me and while my mother would be supportive he would shoot me down, berate me for being an idiot, or just ignore me like I'm not there. On the rare days when he was in a good mood he would praise me, even if what I wanted was a bad idea. My mom would then intervene and try to set me straight. Growing up I experienced my father (and by extension all men) as cold, uncaring, selfish, irresponsible, judgmental, harsh, and hurtful. Luckily, I've been friends with men who were kind, caring, responsive, and patient, so I know this isn't true. But because of these rough lessons from childhood I can't seem to open up to any guy that I'm dating. Without opening up and sharing your real thoughts and feelings with the other person you just remain acquaintances.

Does anyone else have/had an emotionally absent / abusive father but was able to establish a healthy relationship? If so, how did you overcome your trust issues? How about fears of abandonment in a relationship?

My father is an abusive drunk. He has never been there for me and still won't be there. I understand that and accepted that fact. It has taken me years to trust men. When I met my husband I was still dealing with it and he helped me through this. It was hard and it had started to affect my relationship with my husband but he has always helped me through it. My father contacts me now and then and tries to tell me that he has changed but I see through that. My father only cares about his child of his 4 marriage ( I'm his first born from his 3 marriage). If you have not accepted the fact that your dad is a dead beat then its going to be hard for you.