I had an abortion..where is he?

[smencey]

Hi,

My ex and I broke up roughly a month ago. We continued to sleep in the same bed a couple of times, have had sex, have said previously that we still love each other. However, all of that began to change after a large row which ended up with me in hospital after coming to the end of my tether and thinking of suicide. After this, I found out that I am pregnant, news which I broke to my ex on Monday..I had the first abortion pill today (I am six weeks along.) He initially reacted badly, claiming that it wasn't his, saying that I'm disgusting and that this is all a trap to keep him in a relationship with me.

Last night and today however, he was speaking with me on snapchat. I am in a lot of physical pain, and the doctors have advised me not to be left alone especially as of Friday when I take the second pill as I will be enduring contractions and extremely heavy bleeding. Three other people know, my housemate and two best friends (a couple who live together) and all three with either be away or working over the weekend so will therefore be unable to stay with me. Essentially, I need my ex right now. The baby was his, he is the only person that I know with a car and who I would feel comfortable in being there with me. However, I don't quite know how to go about asking for his help during this extremely difficult time as he has become so unpredictable and such a different person within the last few weeks. I don't recognise the boy that I loved anymore, and it is rare that he ever comes to me when I need him these days because he simply believes that I am lying to him.

At the moment, I can hardly walk and I know that in the middle of the night I will need him there, as I am not only suffering physically but emotionally I feel torn apart, tormented and just down right disgusted with myself. How do I go about asking for his help without imposing myself or making it look like I'm doing this because I want him back? I'm scared he'll slam the door in my face, and I'll be left to go through this alone

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Should've gone the surgical route..the pill takes a lot longer and sucks a lot more.

I helped my ex with this(not my ex at the time), and there wasn't really much I could do other than give her water or towels, so make sure you've got water and towels if you're gonna go it alone. She mainly chilled in the shower for a while, but I guess not being alone helped. I was miserable, so I can only imagine what it was like for her. If you can get your hands on pain pills..do it. Take a handful. Just tell your ex that you're scared and you'd appreciate it if he was there since no one else can. If that doesn't work, I doubt anything will. Why do you need him to stay the whole weekend, when it only lasts a couple hours? Why can't your mom stay with you?



Also, snapchat? Really? That shit is for retards.

[mollymari]

I'm sorry to hear your going through this alone. The impact felt on both the male and female in this situation will be rough and full of doubts, anger and questions.
You must hold strong and find comfort in inner reflections. He may be too upset to deal with this. But shallow comments like "it isn't mine" are intolerable and you must know this.
If you have anyone else, now is the time to call them for help. and yes, a warm tub, some soothing tunes and a hot water bottle, pain pills will help.
and you must address your depression, don't let it get out of hand.

[Starnique]

Ohhh Sweety, I feel so bad for you. You do not deserve to go thru this by yourself. What an sorry asshole. I know it's hard but you shouldn't even want him there with you. He doesn't even deserve to be in your presence right now. This should show you his true character. Do you really want this kind of man around you? You sure you have no one else to call? If you're determined to have him there, then just tell him what you're going thru and that you need him for this hard time. Honestly, I feel like sometimes in life you may have pain or a hard time and you got to tough it out, as hard as it. I think this is just one of them things where you live and learn and be your own source of strength. Do you genuinely care about yourself? He doesn't so he don't need to be there. You shouldn't even have to be asking him to be there. This shows you how much he really loved you and cared for you.

He really showed his ass and now you see the real him.

I'm curious as to why you didn't do the surgical procedure also. It still cramping involved but hardly not as bad.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

"Surgical procedure" or "take a pill". Which sounds better?

I get the feeling they never tell them how much the pill sucks.

[Starnique]

I guess some girls feel like a pill will be easy to swallow as oppose to getting it sucked out. An abortion room looks like death in there and that vacuums noise is horrible but its over relatively fast. I say just get it over with and as soon as possible. Not being insensitive but that's how it is.

[DalM0m]

At this point you can't rely on him. You have to be safe. Find a dear friend to be with you when you take the 2nd pill.

Once you get your own health stabalized, then you can worry about ending the relationship with him.

[basilandthyme]

Even if you did find a way to ask him, I strongly doubt he'd give you the support you need. He'd probably be passive aggressive and just upset you further.

I second the idea of finding someone else to be with you.

[4 ratties]

Try to find somebody else. I know assholes like this. He won't be there for you like u need him to be.

[Constantinesbr]

Hmmm, always 2 sides of a story.
Imo, u should have done a test and present it to him, to be sure.
If he is the father , then he has to be there even if it is hard.
Again protect yourself , if the guys don't do it and give second chances.
From a guy's point of view , it is his fault not to be protective.

[mollymari]

We all hope your feeling better and from the advices offered I'd have to agree, true enough, two sides, all that but hey, when something like this is involved we put differences aside and be there for each other; something that guy didn't do for you so yeah, you don't want to be with someone who brings out the low blows in a time like this. F___ that.
I really hope your feeling better.
Don't forget, there's allot of good single gentle men out there, still. yes still.
Stop beating yourself up, gather your strengths and hold strong.

[NiaPeach]

I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion. I'm too emotional and I am too afraid it will affect my ability to have children in the future. I have a friend that happened to but I do believe it's a womans choice. he should be by your side OP. After all, he is half responsible. Never let him back in your life if he isn't there for you.

Wish you the best.

[joanna1]

I'm sorry for how your ex is being with you, he has shown you his true self and wouldn't be the support you need right now anyhow, he said vile things to you when you told him. You should tell your doctor you have no one to care for you and he might be able to find you a bed or an aide to help you for that one night or so. Even see if a neighbor could check in on you if you have to be don't rely on your ex with no alternative plans, he will disappoint you. Wish you the best throughout your ordeal.

[sara12345]

I hope you feel better and just stick with friends and family in this time, and tell him that if he isnt willing to be supportive than its over

[Cbud92]

There is a lot of information online that would probably help you much more than a forum.. Google is your friend!!!