How do I get over my ex? He was abusive but I can't live without him

[Lilia]

Thank you for sharing your ideas and experience with me pcmaster. Yes I agree with you - being passionate about the things you do in life is very important. It might be one of the keys to happiness. It is good to have goals as well.
Actually saying "hello and good bye" with a big smile on my face was a big part of my job as a receptionist. =) I didn't enjoy doing that though cos it was rather tiring at the end of the day.
Having enough food and sleep is essential for good mental and physical health but if all you do is sleeping and eating you start to realize that you are a failure... well I do some other activities too like exercising and taking care of my dog and a little bit of self educating but that's not the kind of life I expected to have at the age of 24...
You were very very lucky to find the people who helped you to work through your negative feelings and to make it through in the end...
I should start looking for a good therapist I see...Actually the therapists I've been to in the past never offered me cookies. So you were lucky with that too. =)
I believe in God but I am not very religious. I try not to think about religion cos I prefer to be a sinner. Just kidding. =) Actually not kidding.)
I don't have any addictions...
If I could change 1 thing about my life I would change my personality. I'd be a stronger version of myself. I wish I was more independent and free and not so afraid of changes.

[bluenote99]

well you're young yet Lilia and those are things you can work on, strength and independence along with the confidence to be yourself may come naturally with age, as for fear of change most of us have that to some degree the key thing is understanding its a natural part of life some people learn to actually embrace it, you really shouldn't be so hard on yourself calling yourself a failure whilst still in your mid twenties you may not be perfect but i've yet to meet anyone who is

[mollymari]

Move FAR FAR AWAY and run , run for your life..... and smarten up. Stop allowing the abuse both from him and yourself. You silly girl, where is your Mother?
Do you have people you and your dog can go to? You need to get away from this man, get away.... should I say that again, get the F___ away from him.
and again, stop the F__ing self abuse you sweet but silly girl. I feel like both hugging you and sternly looking into your eyes, but all I have is this thing to type on as I plead with you PLEAD with you to please, get this guy OUT OF YOUR LIFE........................for the love of yourself, the love of your ol dog (don't think your pup doesn't know your in danger)
Girl, you got a choice to make. Please make the right one. Dang girl, you better start loving your self again, please don't give up and fight, fight for your life and run, run like hell away from him.

[Lilia]

Move FAR FAR AWAY and run , run for your life..... and smarten up. Stop allowing the abuse both from him and yourself. You silly girl, where is your Mother?
Do you have people you and your dog can go to? You need to get away from this man, get away.... should I say that again, get the F___ away from him.
and again, stop the F__ing self abuse you sweet but silly girl. I feel like both hugging you and sternly looking into your eyes, but all I have is this thing to type on as I plead with you PLEAD with you to please, get this guy OUT OF YOUR LIFE........................for the love of yourself, the love of your ol dog (don't think your pup doesn't know your in danger)
Girl, you got a choice to make. Please make the right one. Dang girl, you better start loving your self again, please don't give up and fight, fight for your life and run, run like hell away from him.

I think I needed a harsh reply like this, thank you for your honest reply. It makes me realize even more that I made the right decision...I wish my mom had told me exactly the same thing long time ago. But I've never told her the truth about my relationship with him cos that was too embarrassing...and I thought she wouldn't understand.
I got away from him and I live with my parents now.. He is not into chasing me... He will accept any decision I make. I hope everything will be fine.