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Thread: Can I get back with my ex if she says she does not love me any more.

  1. #1
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    Can I get back with my ex if she says she does not love me any more.

    Hello all im new to the forum and was hoping for some advice really. not sure if this is the right section to post sorry if its now.

    So here goes, My partner and I have just broken up about 2 half weeks ago and I want her back.

    ill save the back story unless its needed and just try and give to the point facts. we were together for 7 year would have been 8 November 1st
    and around 2 weeks ago she decided to end thing. we have lived together for a year so this lead to sticky issues with the place that we rent. so for the 1st week we were still sharing the same be. for me it was really confusing as in my head i was still living like we were a couple. doing the same sort of routine going to work coming back cooking for the both of us. but she was not in the same place as me. she just started a new job so had that going, she would do here evening training Monday and Wednesday evening but they go to friends after it. as well as going out on other nights. which i can understand with the situation.

    during that time i starred to crumble i was not sleeping well and we were still in the same bed as mentioned i decided i would sleep on the sofa. now she had it in here head that we could be friends and still live together in different rooms. that was sort of her plan i guess. last weekend i just said i cant take how this is we sort of got into it. i said i think that she should stay at her mums for a week or so so i could get my head around things as there was no separation since the break up, we started talking about who was going to keep our home, with both of us wanting it. words word said and it was not great. either way she went and no contact begun. deep down i do not want this break up and i want her back.

    the thing is she say she is not in love with me any more, but she does love me. where as i am in love with her but never showed it to her which is what lead her to this and falling out of love with me.

    i sent message to her the day she left saying how much i love her and how i dont want things to end laid every thing out there and pretty much just got its over its to late etc. there was no contact for 2 days. tuesday evening she texted asking how i am i say not great. and we sort of continue text through out the week from that. this bring me back to how i was the week before missing and thinking about her constant. yesterday i lay every thing out there again, i dont want things to end with out me fighting for her and all that sort of stuff.

    i get back stop putting pressure and i leave it at that. last night i decided i would not contact her at all now but do want her back. i send he one last message this morning just to say sorry if i put pressure on, i have come to terms with her decision and i wont contact her. what was strange was she asked what what i did that night to make my feeling change over night, i just said nothing i just took time to think and respect her decision. her responce was did i go out that night which i never. so i said no of course

    so what im asking is can i win my ex back and make her fall in love with me again. deep down i dont believe she wants this and i dont think she has stopped loving me, but i do think i have pushed her to her limit with my actions. this being lack of affection, being quite around her family and friends and general living lifestyles.

    i found some writing she did and its clear she was unhappy and i was a plum and was blind to it, but i never realized how bad it was.

    i want to win her love back show her i can be the person she feel in love with and can be that guy she is thinking of.

  2. #2
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    So since my original post this as what happened.

    today i got home from work and noticed my partners post and washing had been collected so I text her knowing that I should not have and asked if she had been round.

    she replied saying she had.

    i send another message saying do you mind letting me know when you are coming round.

    she then said why its my stuff. and followed saying for me not to start that she is finding f**king difficult, that i told her to leave because i never wanted to move out and that she is living out of bags. and that she feels like im punishing her and that she is so unhappy.

    i have not responded back as much as i would like to. as its like she is twisting and miss understanding what i had said.

    yes i asked her to go for a week or to to clear the heads. when i asked her last week if she was coming back she said no she aint and all that time i thought she was coming back at the weekend. how im punishing her when all i have done is say nice thing since the day she left and respect the fact she asked for no contact. i dont see how i was starting just when i was asking to know when she would be coming round.

    now the hard part is it bad if i dont reply, or will it just make things worse if i do????? every things telling me i should which could only mean the right thing is to ignore it.

  3. #3
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    bump, will know one respond?

  4. #4
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    No, you can't get back with your ex that isn't in love with you anymore. Let it go and stop contacting her.

  5. #5
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    If she doesn't love you any more, there is no hope I'm sorry.

    I have no idea why she says you are punishing her. She's probably just angry & upset at the world & you are a convenient person to yell at.

    If you ended up with the flat, even if her stuff is still there, you are entitled to know when she is showing up.

  6. #6
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    The bit about you punishing her: she's pissed off because she was hoping for you to still live with her and be her emotional crutch. Where as, you have (sensibly) told her to go sleep at her mum's.

    In short, she doesn't like the fact that you taking control over your own needs has inconvenienced her.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  7. #7
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    Getting Your Ex Back

    This may help. I placed this on my winthemback.org recently. Hope this helps

    How to Make Her Feel Like the Queen of Your World

    Have you ever noticed that even in marriages where the couples seem to have it all -- looks, money, the perfect story -- things sometimes fall apart? It leaves a lot of mere mortals without the fairy tale budgets and picture perfect smile stand a chance. The truth is, that the regular people of the world stand as much of a chance as those with big budgets to buy their girls a little bit of everything.

    Why?

    Because when it comes down to it, most girls aren't proverbial material girls no matter how great of a show they put on. They may claim that diamonds are a girl's best friend. They certainly won't turn them down when offered. But, what a girl really wants is to feel like the queen of your world and not just an afterthought. These simple steps might not sound like much, but they'll make a world of different to the girl who is currently queen of your heart.

    Sweat the Details

    Many men follow the wrong advice when they listen to people telling them not to sweat the small stuff. Life is the small stuff. It's the small stuff that passes by, ignored and overlooked, while you're busy looking for the big statement items. Don't let her get away because you were so busy looking for something monumental to show your love that you overlooked a thousand small ways you could have told her or showed her how you feel.

    Kiss her Hellos and Goodbye - No Matter What

    Life gets busy sometimes. It's easy to overlook the details of what's going on at home when you have a thousand different demands firing your way at the office or you're worried about how you're going to make ends meet next month. Whatever your worries may be, you should have no worry greater in your life than greeting your girl hello and leaving her with something to remember you by throughout the day.

    The perfect solution?

    A kiss.

    It costs little and speaks volumes.

    Give her a Night Off Each Week

    There's nothing the average busy wife and mother wants more than a night off each week. Come home and take over. Plan the meals. Feed the kids. Bathe the kids. Tuck them in. Draw her a bath and take over kitchen cleanup duties while she relaxes in the tub. It will feel like a little piece of paradise to her and show her just how devoted to her you really are.

    Send her Silly Little Love Notes

    They may seem silly to you, but these are the things she'll read a thousand times over the years. She'll wrap them in ribbons and take them out to look over whenever the road gets a little rough between you. If you continue sending them, she'll often revisit them to see how things have changed, and how much they've stayed the same between the two of you.

    You don't have to spend ridiculous sums of money to show her that she really is the queen of your hearts. More importantly, these small gestures make her feel like she's the queen of your world too.
    Bill Jones

  8. #8
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    Hi, if she doesn't love you anymore.. you have to move on.. but it doesn't mean that cant be friends again.. just give her the impression that you are mature and strong enough to her friend.. and soon if things are working smoothly you talk to each other and fix the problem.. and maybe just maybe in time she will be back for you.. if NOT, then everything happens for a reason. someone is greatly in need of your attention.

    I am Thomas Gonzalez of howtowinthemback . com

  9. #9
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    Definitely NO, forced love comes to hate

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    I had to go through that ...like a lot of us did. Move on and be Happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by .com View Post
    Hello all im new to the forum and was hoping for some advice really. not sure if this is the right section to post sorry if its now.

    So here goes, My partner and I have just broken up about 2 half weeks ago and I want her back.

    ill save the back story unless its needed and just try and give to the point facts. we were together for 7 year would have been 8 November 1st
    and around 2 weeks ago she decided to end thing. we have lived together for a year so this lead to sticky issues with the place that we rent. so for the 1st week we were still sharing the same be. for me it was really confusing as in my head i was still living like we were a couple. doing the same sort of routine going to work coming back cooking for the both of us. but she was not in the same place as me. she just started a new job so had that going, she would do here evening training Monday and Wednesday evening but they go to friends after it. as well as going out on other nights. which i can understand with the situation.

    during that time i starred to crumble i was not sleeping well and we were still in the same bed as mentioned i decided i would sleep on the sofa. now she had it in here head that we could be friends and still live together in different rooms. that was sort of her plan i guess. last weekend i just said i cant take how this is we sort of got into it. i said i think that she should stay at her mums for a week or so so i could get my head around things as there was no separation since the break up, we started talking about who was going to keep our home, with both of us wanting it. words word said and it was not great. either way she went and no contact begun. deep down i do not want this break up and i want her back.

    the thing is she say she is not in love with me any more, but she does love me. where as i am in love with her but never showed it to her which is what lead her to this and falling out of love with me.

    i sent message to her the day she left saying how much i love her and how i dont want things to end laid every thing out there and pretty much just got its over its to late etc. there was no contact for 2 days. tuesday evening she texted asking how i am i say not great. and we sort of continue text through out the week from that. this bring me back to how i was the week before missing and thinking about her constant. yesterday i lay every thing out there again, i dont want things to end with out me fighting for her and all that sort of stuff.

    i get back stop putting pressure and i leave it at that. last night i decided i would not contact her at all now but do want her back. i send he one last message this morning just to say sorry if i put pressure on, i have come to terms with her decision and i wont contact her. what was strange was she asked what what i did that night to make my feeling change over night, i just said nothing i just took time to think and respect her decision. her responce was did i go out that night which i never. so i said no of course

    so what im asking is can i win my ex back and make her fall in love with me again. deep down i dont believe she wants this and i dont think she has stopped loving me, but i do think i have pushed her to her limit with my actions. this being lack of affection, being quite around her family and friends and general living lifestyles.

    i found some writing she did and its clear she was unhappy and i was a plum and was blind to it, but i never realized how bad it was.

    i want to win her love back show her i can be the person she feel in love with and can be that guy she is thinking of.

    you can't possibly be happy with keeping her in your head. It hurts but you will find that right one.

  11. #11
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    I was in a similar position with my ex and if she isn't in love with you there is little to no hope of it working out. My ex said the same, she said she wasnt in love but loved me like a best friend or some bullshit so we tried being friends but that just ended in disaster after she sent me mixed signals and lied to me. You'll have to cut her out of your life and move on but maybe one day in the future you can try being friends again but you have to of moved on!

  12. #12
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    Dude screw it been in the similar position as u recently. I was torn apart. Loved her like hell but wasn't prefect. Move on make a better u. Take time to urself it's not worth ur love. I love her but she left me stranded. Learn from what they put us through. Pain will ease up. Oh no contact n no snooping on fb. That crap makes it worse. Most of all in a long time relationship we forget our needs. We care to much for the other person. Know is the time for you. Spend money on urself go gym do something daring. Spend time with friends.

  13. #13
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    I'm sorry but if your ex doesn't love you then you need to move on that person is not the one for you.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karan View Post
    Dude screw it been in the similar position as u recently. I was torn apart. Loved her like hell but wasn't prefect. Move on make a better u. Take time to urself it's not worth ur love. I love her but she left me stranded. Learn from what they put us through. Pain will ease up. Oh no contact n no snooping on fb. That crap makes it worse. Most of all in a long time relationship we forget our needs. We care to much for the other person. Know is the time for you. Spend money on urself go gym do something daring. Spend time with friends.
    THIS. Spoke my mind.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karan View Post
    Dude screw it been in the similar position as u recently. I was torn apart. Loved her like hell but wasn't prefect. Move on make a better u. Take time to urself it's not worth ur love. I love her but she left me stranded. Learn from what they put us through. Pain will ease up. Oh no contact n no snooping on fb. That crap makes it worse. Most of all in a long time relationship we forget our needs. We care to much for the other person. Know is the time for you. Spend money on urself go gym do something daring. Spend time with friends.


    Ditto, right on! same for me too...been in similar situation also. hurts like hell!!!

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