Overly-jealous girlfriend

[itsjustmeok]

I'm a jealous girlfriend and it's ruining my life.
I'm jealous of my boyfriend's ex, because she moved and he still visits her personal blog from time to time.
I'm jealous of the girls he meets when he goes out.
I'm jealous when he likes a picture of another girl on Facebook.
I'm even jealous of the fact he watches porn and has pictures of naked girls all over his Tumblr likes and bookmarks.
Etc.

I wish I could stop being that way, but I don't know how to live with the fact that I'm not the first girl he's been in love with and that there are plenty of other attractive girls out there he can like to look at.

Do you guys have any advice for me? I've been with him for more than a year and it's so hard because of that...

[DalM0m]

How old are you?

The world is made up of men & women. It's just a fact. You can't stick your BF in a box & only let him out when you want to interact with him.

When you are in the dark place where you are thinking about every woman in the world who ever breathed the same air as your BF try to focus on the fact that he picked you not them to be his GF.

[Wakeup]

Jealousy stems from feeling out of control. Work on the premise that you can only control yourself and no one else and you'll stop feeling insecure and jealous and ....

Out of control.

[HeartIsAching]

I think you've got that backwards, Wakeup. Jealousy is from insecurity, which makes you feel the need to control. No matter, same outcome.

OP: What is it that makes you feel so insecure?

[Wakeup]

No matter, same outcome.

Yes, but I don't think I have it backwards. Feeling out of control is what makes her feel jealous. I'm thinking when she THINKS she has control, she is without jealous feelings. When she feels she is out of control, she becomes insecure and angst ridden *shrugs*

[Maple1714]

Jealously can be comprised of a lot of different emotions...

OP - You need to really know (really believe) that you are a unique and special individual. There is no other woman on this planet just like you! So, with knowing that you should also realize that no one is better than anyone else b/c we are all so different. Sure, there may be better love matches for your BF who knows? But, if that's the case then that just means there is a better love match out there for you as well. No point to jealousy really....but I know it's a hard thing to control. Just work on being happy with yourself first....do things that make you feel good about who you are. Talk with your BF about how you feel...see what he says. If it's just in his nature to enjoy looking at and having a bunch of women in his life then so be it. Balls in your court....

[datepleo]

Hi itsjustmeok, I am really not sure how to reply to this thread. What makes you feel so jealous? From what you have posted, it seems actually a bit worrisome to me. I second what DalM0m has said here. Relationships take effort to maintain. Keep your head straight, and cherish the relationship you have...

[1985@LoVe]

Find other things to occupy your time don't stalk his online pages it only makes you more vounerable to the situation

[countryrider13]

I think there's trust issues there. Be honest with your feelings with him. If you can't get over the jealousy and trust then he probobly isn't the right guy for you

[Cbud92]

Instead of getting really jealous and possibly overreacting, try calmly approaching him about it.

Also, work on building trust in the beginning of the relationship so you don't get to the point of being jealous.

[bluesummer]

Jealousy, to me, seems to stem directly from insecurity. The only reason I would say otherwise is if he had done something in the past to break your trust.

I used to get very jealous (read: insecure) about my bfs when I was younger. I assumed just because there were other women in the world, there must be a good percentage that were 'better' than me and if I was attracted to my bf, obviously these 'better' girls would be too....and I'd have no chance. So silly. Your boyfriend isn't with you because he has nothing better to do, he likes you, for YOU.

Jealousy will kill a relationship, as will insecurity. Men do not want to have their trustworthiness under scrutiny 24/7....it's disrespectful. Especially if they've never given you any reason to doubt them in the first place. Does he do it to you? If not, ask yourself how you would feel if he constantly needed to know where you were going, or freaked out when he knew you were around other guys at a function.

Get right with yourself first. Tell yourself he loves you and you're worth his attention. Actually, just start with just telling yourself how great you are as a person, never mind what HE thinks of you. I say this again and again......no one else in this world can make you happy if you're not happy with yourself.

[VincenzoG91]

If you can't trust him, this relationship isn't going to work. If you can't trust anybody that you've been in a relationship with in the past, then you should either stop dating shady people or get professional help for your trust issues.

[tropus]

I think you need to take a good look at yourself and re-appraise your self worth. You need to remind yourself that you two are in an exclusive relationship and he is privileged to have you any time you are feeling jealous about something.