I fear I killed my relationship

[Mackavish]

Hi there, I'm new here.

I'm almost certain I just successfully killed my relationship with my girlfriend of 8 months. She's told me that the major reason was for sexual frustration but underlying is my supposed lack of intimacy, meaning I don't kiss her passionately or "touch" her, or compliment her appearance, which is odd because I can easily recall all the times I've done so. I admit never passionately kissing her, though the last time I visited her I attempted to but she turned her cheek and I don't know why. Maybe my breath was bad, my lips were chapped, I spit, I don't know.

Now me being in love with her was never in doubt, but the ability to show it was bad, though I would bring her flowers and wine and flirt with her every time we spoke on the phone. I did show it but in a non-traditional, awkward sort of way which might be why she thinks I wasn't intimate.

Another thing is that I have Asperger's Syndrome and recently I've been researching it and relationships and found that a lot relationships with Aspies don't end well, which is what I'm experiencing. I openly admitted having this mental condition a month before we officially went out, so she knows but I'm not sure she fully understands what it entails. I've read that you should sit down with your partner and discuss what it means and I even spoke with my doctor about it, so I did briefly speak with my partner about this the last time I visited but not a serious in-depth discussion because I felt that it would seem like I was shifting the blame to the Aspergers, even though that was the advice I was given.

What can I do now?

[HeartIsAching]

I dunno...what do you want? Do you want her back?

Then effing call her and say "I'd like to talk about us." and then if she agrees, sit down with her and tell her what it means to have Aspergers. I get that you don't understand normal human reactions, that you imitate and emulate, but that doesn't mean that there's no common ground. A sociopath or psychopath doesn't feel anything, you DO. You just don't relate it to the unspoken rules of social interaction very well. Tell her that she needs to tell you the rules you don't figure out. Maybe you'll get her back.

[Mackavish]

I would think she'd say I should know something after 8 months, but seeing as how I never fully explained things that may help.

[dem862]

She was sexually frustrated? Weren't you having sex with her?

[Mackavish]

She was sexually frustrated? Weren't you having sex with her?

I was, every time I visited but that's WAY too explicit in details.

[Tug]

Maybe she's needy and no man could fulfill her needs. Maybe she freaked when you told her about your Asperger's Syndrome and used the lack of intimacy as an excuse. I know none of this is helping you, about the only advice I can give you is accept her decision and move on with your life. I realize your heart is broke (so is mine) but we cant make the other person love us. Try to keep yourself occupied and delete all her text messages and her phone number off your cell. Time is about the only thing that's going to help you at this point. Sorry, wish I could be of more help

[ChrisFabiani]

If you love her that much man, try and get her back. Wait a few weeks so she can start missing you a bit, then text or call her. But whatever you do, don't send her too many texts or calls in a short space of time, you don't want to make her feel like you're 'chasing' her, because although that works when you try to get a girl for the first time (if done properly) it rarely works when you're trying to get an ex back.