I am cheating on my wife. I love my new partner.

[jam]

The thing about life and being human in particular is we have the right to make what sort of decision we want. It may be good or bad, as long as we think it's the best. Does that make it right or wrong? NO.

Anything done in the dark or in secret is sweet, you want more and more of it, problem is that once it comes to the light - it will become monotonous and boring.

I think it's a bad idea to dump your woman for very superficial reasons, because you have no guarantees that this new person will live upto that 3 years down the road. But, if you think that's where your happiness lies - then do as you please, but be cautious about the path you are treading on. They say the first is always the hardest - divorce.

Lasting marriages are way beyond our selfish happiness, it takes a real man and real woman to make it work.

[Brent29]

Thanks to you guys for writing your thoughts back. Appreciate those of you not being overly judgmental as I obviously can't write out the whole situation in a few paragraphs, and you are trying to empathize with me. I also appreciate the directness and condescension from a few of you as well, occasionally we all need people to smack sense into you and get you to wake the **** up. Honestly, I don't feel great about what I'm doing, I did love my wife unconditionally once, but things change. People change. We both committed different things to each other, and both of us are dropping the ball. I'm not blaming her for my actions, but I am not going to say she didn't partly drive me to this. Ultimately, I just don't want to live a life full of regret with someone who make me feel alone anyway. If things work out with this woman in the long run, it will be because we made an effort to have an actual relationship once both our marriages have ended (if that ever happens, not holding my breath just saying). If my fling does burn out way before that like a few of you say it will, then I'm still in the same boat with my wife and as most of you have pointed out, that still needs to be addressed.

[searock]

So basically you aren't going to do anything to change your situation?

[surfhb2]

Nothing wrong with wanting to split but staying with her is just plain....Bad News

[Brent29]

So basically you aren't going to do anything to change your situation?

I am going to change my situation. Did you not read my post? Why are you being so confrontational? I'm not trying to be rude but my wife is the same way. I just want a decent conversation.

[Brent29]

Nothing wrong with wanting to split but staying with her is just plain....Bad News

Do you mean staying with my wife is bad news or the other woman? I guess I will need to find out what she wants from me. The other woman that is. I will keep having fun with her in the mean time. Only thing is, I feel I am getting emotionally attached to her and I don't want that to happen if she doesn't feel the same. I would need to know her feelings so that I can separate the two. As far as my wife, I honestly don't think there will be reconciliation, as I don't feel the same way.

[surfhb2]

I am going to change my situation. Did you not read my post? Why are you being so confrontational?

You're getting divorce right?

[Brent29]

What if I approach her about the divorce and she starts getting all emotional on me? I hate seeing women cry. Even her.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You need to start seeing multiple women so you don't get attached the other woman. If she actually does leave her husband, then think about a relationship, but right now just get yourself out of the marriage. This chick you're seeing on the side might be willing to have an affair with you for years, and still not be willing to have a relationship when she leaves her husband. Search this forum..your situation is not new at all.

If your wife cries when you bring up divorce, tell her she is a bitch and she's just like her mom, and you've grown to hate her. Show no mercy. She hasn't shown any. Give her the paperwork to sign, so there is nothing to talk about.

[surfhb2]

What if I approach her about the divorce and she starts getting all emotional on me? I hate seeing women cry. Even her.

Bo Fuccking Hoo!!!

[Brent29]

You guys are right. Besides, I doubt the tears will be real. She is very manipulative and I can see her using me until she get what she wants out of the marriage and then moving on. She's an extreme opportunist. It's so surprising how she changed after we married. As I said before I think her mom has a lot to do with this. She has also ran off every man she ever had including my wife's dad. He also advised me not to marry her. Hearing that from the father, my ass should've took the hint. I've actually met another woman while in Atlantic City last week. Haven't made plans yet but she is still an option. I guess I'm excited because they make me feel wanted and my wife doesn't. I guess plenty of other guys go through this as well? I feel as if I am going through a phase that's why I'm trying to analyze everything.

[Brent29]

I contemplated on it some more. Just last week, my uninvited mother in law was over and she overheard my wife and I having a yelling match over a certain situation. Her mother waltz her way into our bedroom and proceeded to tell us that we were too loud. Then she said she had been wanting to tell me if I put more time into my wife instead of helping my friend to coach his youth football team, that we wouldn't have these problems and I don't need to speak to her daughter that way . I told her mother to mind her own damn business and she was an evil woman and I speak to my wife the way I see fit. I was angry. My wife jumps in and screams, don't ever speak to my mother that way and I was crazy. I realized it was ridiculous to argue with two women and I turned to leave. My wife called my name and tried to come after me, I suppose to apologize and her mother had the audacity to tell her never to run after me. I think she could be a good wife if it wasn't for her mother but since that's who she wants to be with then by all means, go ahead and **** your mother. It really pissed me off.

I decided that I am just going to let my wife know over the weekend that I am moving out and I am going to go through with divorce proceedings. I will keep you fellows updated.

[surfhb2]

I contemplated on it some more. Just last week, my uninvited mother in law was over and she overheard my wife and I having a yelling match over a certain situation. Her mother waltz her way into our bedroom and proceeded to tell us that we were too loud. Then she said she had been wanting to tell me if I put more time into my wife instead of helping my friend to coach his youth football team, that we wouldn't have these problems and I don't need to speak to her daughter that way . I told her mother to mind her own damn business and she was an evil woman and I speak to my wife the way I see fit. I was angry. My wife jumps in and screams, don't ever speak to my mother that way and I was crazy. I realized it was ridiculous to argue with two women and I turned to leave. My wife called my name and tried to come after me, I suppose to apologize and her mother had the audacity to tell her never to run after me. I think she could be a good wife if it wasn't for her mother but since that's who she wants to be with then by all means, go ahead and **** your mother. It really pissed me off.

I decided that I am just going to let my wife know over the weekend that I am moving out and I am going to go through with divorce proceedings. I will keep you fellows updated.

Good man! Good luck!

But PLEASE....don't get attached to one woman straight off. Have fun....get the divorce finalized and relax a bit

[searock]

Edit: never mind, I just read that you are going to proceed with the divorce. I agree it's the best thing to do.

[Brent29]

I think it was the excitement of being wanted. Totally infatuated with her and I am open to a relationship in the future but I'll take it easy. I don't need to be tied down right now. I just want to enjoy life.

Thanks