I need this last help from you guys.... and then I'm done

[Orsba]

I'm so glad I found a forum where guys answer love questions too...

My question is: why do guys lose interest sooo fast? And I mean FAST ! A month ago I met a guy on the internet. We talked for 2 weeks and he even asked me to not delete my account until he came back for a trip. OK, I didn't delete it and then, we met in real life. It was nice, a really good date. Then, we talked on whatsapp and he told me I was a nice person to hang out with etc. But after that, when I invited him to a movie, he said he was busy that month etc. and of course, we never talked. I asked him why did this, why he said what he said, if he doesn't talk to me. he told me that he's busy etc. I left it there.

Last week, I met a guy on a bus I was travelling, we had seats next to each other. We talked for 2 hours non stop, we laughed and at the end, he asked for my phone number. He's from a different city than me. After that, he sent a message on whatsapp, we talked for an hour there and then the next day, he wouldn't answer me. I sent him a joke, but no answer. After a while, he said he was busy and that we would talk later. The SAME scenario and I don't understand why... he told me I am well educated, honest and that those are things that he appreciates in a person and he also invited me to his city several times. because I told him I never been there.

My question is how can a guy have a nice time with a girl and then just lose interest and say he is busy? I don't get it. If I were to tell these guys that I like them a lot, that I want to get married to them, I could understand why they would lose interest fast. But I was being normal, chatty etc and now...
I don't understand what's wrong? I just want to find out why and then I promise to myself that I'll never hope for love again... or for an honest and forward guy... who doesn't leave me wondering

[basilandthyme]

guy number one: he's finally met you in person and found that the required attraction wasn't there. Thing is, as much as we can feel like we know someone who's on the internet, it's not like spending real time with them.

guy number two: talking to someone on a bus for two hours does not mean they are interested in dating you. He saw you as company during a long trip - nothing more.

And with both guys, the fact they live in another city could have also played a part in their decision making. I still can't figure out why people do long distance dating....

[Orsba]

Yes, but guy no 2 asked for my phone number and invited me several times to visit him in his city and even flirted a bit. Thay's why I'm so confused. Why would someone do those things if they are not interested? I don't understand boys... at least they could be honest and tell me up front they don't like me

[somehelp4me]

Might be guy number one found someone closer and more compatible, men and women have several options available when dating, never assume you are the only one in the mix. Guy number two might have been being nice because you were seat companions on a trip, that was all. He shouldn't have taken your number but was probably the type of person who doesn't know how to deal with telling someone no in person, not interested.

[Rainyy]

1. Both of the guys might actually be busy Try talking to them again later on
2. Try talking to them a little bit at a time to make him wants to know more about you : )

[searock]

why do guys lose interest sooo fast?

"Guys" don't lose interest sooo fast. The guys you mentioned did.

[Boisdevie]

I don't understand boys... at least they could be honest and tell me up front they don't like me

Clearly they dropped out because they were no longer interested in you. Would you prefer that they just gradually let it drop or tell you to your face whey they judged you not good enough for them? Could you really handle the truth.

[Orsba]

yes, YES! I would love to hear the truth for once. that way, I could evolve. who knows what I'm doing wrong. I would love to hear the truth and not be left wondering. it's worse tha hearing the truth.

[Boisdevie]

yes, YES! I would love to hear the truth for once. that way, I could evolve. who knows what I'm doing wrong. I would love to hear the truth and not be left wondering. it's worse tha hearing the truth.

Even if they said things like:
You're boring.
I don't find you attractive.
I don't like your opinions.
You have no sense of humour.
?

[Orsba]

yes, even if they said things like that. At least I know the reason and I don't start making my own reasons. it's exhausting. I'm the type of person that wants to know why soemone acts in a certain way towards me. if I don't find out, I always wonder and leaves me in fog. I like things to be sorted out so that I can be stress free.

they can even say things like: "you're so annoying and boring". Hallelujah !! At least I know and I can move on. I need to learn to let go of always needing explanations from people. I considered something unfinished if I don't know what happened. and I sometimes can't let go, I need to know. But I've learned that even if guys say nice things to me, that doesn't mean they are interested.

[mollymari]

yes, even if they said things like that. At least I know the reason and I don't start making my own reasons. it's exhausting. I'm the type of person that wants to know why soemone acts in a certain way towards me. if I don't find out, I always wonder and leaves me in fog. I like things to be sorted out so that I can be stress free.

they can even say things like: "you're so annoying and boring". Hallelujah !! At least I know and I can move on. I need to learn to let go of always needing explanations from people. I considered something unfinished if I don't know what happened. and I sometimes can't let go, I need to know. But I've learned that even if guys say nice things to me, that doesn't mean they are interested.

Hey Orsba

Try holding off on calling them so soon or often. Could be you came on too strong even with all the conversations held before hand, calling them the next day may be a little too much for them.
Could be they aren't the right guys for you and you'll meet someone some day who doesn't mind it when you call the very next day.

Men are funny. So are women. Make them earn it.

[ryann87]

If a guy doesn't give you a good honest reason why he doesn't want to see you, he's not ready for a relationship. Move on and find one who is. Ive been that guy and I can tell you from my point of view, the fact that a guy does something like that, doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. You just aren't a girl for him. But there is guy out there that's right for you!

[Orsba]

Hey Orsba

Try holding off on calling them so soon or often. Could be you came on too strong even with all the conversations held before hand, calling them the next day may be a little too much for them.
Could be they aren't the right guys for you and you'll meet someone some day who doesn't mind it when you call the very next day.

Men are funny. So are women. Make them earn it.

he wasthe one who asked for my phone no, who contacted me on whatsapp first. I shouldn't have installed whatsapp. I was not even interested in keeping in touch with him since he is from a different city, but I thought that I should stop thinking in the future and that I should just enjoy the conversation. Maybe I turned him off when I told him that a guy friend of mine invited me to have a drink.

Anyway, all these experiences have made me be more light about boys and relationships. I just don't care anymore. Sometimes I don't know how to behave: if I act chill and friendly, they lose interest because I don't flirt; if I flirt, nothing good comes out of it... and I don't want to fool myself with the saying "some day.... etc etc". because I'm always hoping and everytime I meet a guy I say to myself :" maybe this is that day". and then I expect too much I'll just concentrate on myself and that's about it... not everyone has relationship material or luck.

[HeartIsAching]

Maybe you're just boring.