Why the double standard?

[JenAlexisLuv]

So, I will give you all the info you need to give me a little advice. I've known and liked a guy for the last year and a half. We've been friends and recently and finally hooked up back in May. He knows I like him and & know he likes me. We talked on the phone every so often after that, he had been working out of town and I was just getting to know him, which was great because he's not the type of person to open up. He has a really bad boy type of image and just a loner. So, I had invited him over one Saturday and he was all excited to come by and then something popped up for him, which was fine. I ended up texting him a few days later and told him it was too bad he couldn't come by but to call me whenever. Well he calls me a couple days later and tells me he wants to see me but needs a ride. I go pick him up and we end up watching tv and talking for about 3 hours. It was REALLY comfortable...and then we hook up again. I took him back home and that was it. He had told me he had something to do court wise and I took that opportunity last Tuesday to say good luck and hope everything worked out. Thursday at 2 a.m. he calls me...I pick it up and he's saying how he wants me to hang out with him and his boy, but I tell him I have to work, he tells me that he needs a girl who will be there for him and if I won't then not to call him...YES, he was drunk...I tell him that he knows I care about him a lot and not to say that...we get cut off and I don't call him and he doesn't call back, which I'm kinda grateful for because I couldn't take hearing that he thought I didn't care just because I didn't want to see him at that hour....I was a little worried about him after that and ended up texting him when I woke up to see how he was feeling and that I couldn't stop thinking about him...which I pretty much did only to let him know that I do care about him. I end up seeing him on Saturday at the bar I met him at and just went to say hi, we hugged and I asked how he was and he said really tired, he seemed like he just wanted to chill so I let him be and I went to hang out with my friends. I started drinking and having a blast, mind you, I'm NOT stumbling all over the place or slurring my words, we were dancing and doing karaoke. I went up to him a little bit later to ask him if we were cool and he said he didn't want to talk to me because I was drunk. I was like WTF? I ended up telling him that I thought it was really cute that he called me and he said he didn't rememeber!! That's fine by me, heck at least he was thinking about me when he was drunk, but the whole reason I told him I was thinking about him was because of him kinda letting his feelings out for me. At that point I felt like I was put in a really vulnerable place because he can just say he doesn't remember (and maybe he DOES remember but got scared?) and not take any responsibility for me getting a little more honest with my feelings for him. I got a little emotional and told him he was gonna make me cry..and that's exactly what I did...I went outside with my best friend and bawled my eyes out for a bit because I didn't get why he was mad at me! The guys mom ended up coming out (we're friends and she knows that I like her son) and was mad at him that he made me cry. Lo & behold a little bit later he comes outside for no reason, takes a look around, sees that I'm there with my friend and goes back in. So, I get my act together and go back in and finish enjoying myself. I end up talking to his mom and she tells me that he's got a lot goin gon right now (which I know) and she knows I care about him. It made me feel a little better. End of the night comes and he's sitting at the bar with his good friend who is also a friend of mine and then I say bye to my guy. I say "I'm not drunk anymore are you gonna talk to me or not?" He just told me to call him later and we'd talk about it. I said fine, but he'd better answer. I told him that I didn't want to put my feelings out on the line for him and he said "don't put your feelings out on the line for me." I ask him if it's because he thinks he's no good for me (he told me that back in May after we first hooked up) and he said no, he just wasn't looking to get into a relationship right now and I told him I wasn't either (well,just because I was mad!) I ended up giving him another hug and leaving. So, I called him and he didn't answer, which I expected, but I texted him and told him I was sorry, but I didn't understand why he was upset at me for being drunk but it was ok for him to call me drunk and that I felt vulnerable for what I said to him and he's not being responsible with what he told me. I just said I hope he can forgive me and that I do care about him. So, I really don't know what I'm asking, but why would he be mad at me for being drunk....do you think he DOES remember what he said and now kinda regrets it and is pushing me away? Just trying to figure out his behavior!!

[basilandthyme]

Jen, trying to figure out why someone behaves in a certain manner will just do your head in....and you'll never understand 'why' anyway.

The best advice I can give you is to take heed of the red flags he's shown you. Him calling you drunk at 2am and having a hissy fit because you won't come out at an ungodly hour is unacceptable. Him having a hissy fit because you drink too is also unacceptable. Not to mention starting out by saying he wants to hang with you, but you need to give him a ride is just ridiculous.

Anyway, he's right about one thing: He's no good for you.

[Empty Road]

This has a bad ending written all over it.

[Boisdevie]

I couldn't read that wall of text.

[FlaCooln]

Please use the ENTER key and some paragraphs.

[JenAlexisLuv]

It wouldn't let me edit it. Sorry, I initially did this on my iPhone!

So, I will give you all the info you need to give me a little advice. I've known and liked a guy for the last year and a half. We've been friends and recently and finally hooked up back in May. He knows I like him and & know he likes me. We talked on the phone every so often after that, he had been working out of town and I was just getting to know him, which was great because he's not the type of person to open up. He has a really bad boy type of image and just a loner.

So, I had invited him over one Saturday and he was all excited to come by and then something popped up for him, which was fine. I ended up texting him a few days later and told him it was too bad he couldn't come by but to call me whenever. Well he calls me a couple days later and tells me he wants to see me but needs a ride. I go pick him up because his wasn't working and we end up watching tv and talking for about 3 hours. It was REALLY comfortable...and then we hook up again. I took him back home and that was it.

He had told me he had something to do court wise and I took that opportunity last Tuesday to say good luck and hope everything worked out. Thursday at 2 a.m. he calls me...I pick it up and he's saying how he wants me to hang out with him and his boy, but I tell him I have to work, he tells me that he needs a girl who will be there for him and if I won't then not to call him...YES, he was drunk...I tell him that he knows I care about him a lot and not to say that...we get cut off and I don't call him and he doesn't call back, which I'm kinda grateful for because I couldn't take hearing that he thought I didn't care just because I didn't want to see him at that hour....I was a little worried about him after that and ended up texting him when I woke up to see how he was feeling and that I couldn't stop thinking about him...which I pretty much did only to let him know that I do care about him.

I end up seeing him on Saturday at the bar I met him at and just went to say hi, we hugged and I asked how he was and he said really tired, he seemed like he just wanted to chill so I let him be and I went to hang out with my friends. I started drinking and having a blast, mind you, I'm NOT stumbling all over the place or slurring my words, we were dancing and doing karaoke. I went up to him a little bit later to ask him if we were cool and he said he didn't want to talk to me because I was drunk. I was like WTF? I ended up telling him that I thought it was really cute that he called me and he said he didn't rememeber!! That's fine by me, heck at least he was thinking about me when he was drunk, but the whole reason I told him I was thinking about him was because of him kinda letting his feelings out for me. At that point I felt like I was put in a really vulnerable place because he can just say he doesn't remember (and maybe he DOES remember but got scared?) and not take any responsibility for me getting a little more honest with my feelings for him. I got a little emotional and told him he was gonna make me cry..and that's exactly what I did...I went outside with my best friend and bawled my eyes out for a bit because I didn't get why he was mad at me! The guys mom ended up coming out (we're friends and she knows that I like her son) and was mad at him that he made me cry. Lo & behold a little bit later he comes outside for no reason, takes a look around, sees that I'm there with my friend and goes back in.

So, I get my act together and go back in and finish enjoying myself. I end up talking to his mom and she tells me that he's got a lot going on right now (which I know) and she knows I care about him. It made me feel a little better. End of the night comes and he's sitting at the bar with his good friend who is also a friend of mine and then I say bye to my guy. I say "I'm not drunk anymore are you gonna talk to me or not?" He just told me to call him later and we'd talk about it. I said fine, but he'd better answer. I told him that I didn't want to put my feelings out on the line for him and he said "don't put your feelings out on the line for me." I ask him if it's because he thinks he's no good for me (he told me that back in May after we first hooked up) and he said no, he just wasn't looking to get into a relationship right now and I told him I wasn't either (well,just because I was mad!) I ended up giving him another hug and leaving.

So, I called him and he didn't answer, which I expected, but I texted him and told him I was sorry, but I didn't understand why he was upset at me for being drunk but it was ok for him to call me drunk and that I felt vulnerable for what I said to him and he's not being responsible with what he told me. I just said I hope he can forgive me and that I do care about him. So, I really don't know what I'm asking, but why would he be mad at me for being drunk....do you think he DOES remember what he said and now kinda regrets it and is pushing me away? Just trying to figure out his behavior!!

[FlaCooln]

Dude is bad news, going through some ***, and doesn't want a relationship. You should do yourself a favor and move on.

[basilandthyme]

Please use the ENTER key and some paragraphs.

God, I'm old. I still think of "carriage return" instead of 'enter'