What's with his behavior?

[JenAlexisLuv]

So, I will give you all the info you need to give me a little advice. I've known and liked a guy for the last year and a half. We've been friends and recently and finally hooked up back in May. He knows I like him and & know he likes me. We talked on the phone every so often after that, he had been working out of town and I was just getting to know him, which was great because he's not the type of person to open up. He has a really bad boy type of image and just a loner. So, I had invited him over one Saturday and he was all excited to come by and then something popped up for him, which was fine. I ended up texting him a few days later and told him it was too bad he couldn't come by but to call me whenever. Well he calls me a couple days later and tells me he wants to see me but needs a ride. I go pick him up and we end up watching tv and talking for about 3 hours. It was REALLY comfortable...and then we hook up again. I took him back home and that was it. He had told me he had something to do court wise and I took that opportunity last Tuesday to say good luck and hope everything worked out. Thursday at 2 a.m. he calls me...I pick it up and he's saying how he wants me to hang out with him and his boy, but I tell him I have to work, he tells me that he needs a girl who will be there for him and if I won't then not to call him...YES, he was drunk...I tell him that he knows I care about him a lot and not to say that...we get cut off and I don't call him and he doesn't call back, which I'm kinda grateful for because I couldn't take hearing that he thought I didn't care just because I didn't want to see him at that hour....I was a little worried about him after that and ended up texting him when I woke up to see how he was feeling and that I couldn't stop thinking about him...which I pretty much did only to let him know that I do care about him. I end up seeing him on Saturday at the bar I met him at and just went to say hi, we hugged and I asked how he was and he said really tired, he seemed like he just wanted to chill so I let him be and I went to hang out with my friends. I started drinking and having a blast, mind you, I'm NOT stumbling all over the place or slurring my words, we were dancing and doing karaoke. I went up to him a little bit later to ask him if we were cool and he said he didn't want to talk to me because I was drunk. I was like WTF? I ended up telling him that I thought it was really cute that he called me and he said he didn't rememeber!! That's fine by me, heck at least he was thinking about me when he was drunk, but the whole reason I told him I was thinking about him was because of him kinda letting his feelings out for me. At that point I felt like I was put in a really vulnerable place because he can just say he doesn't remember (and maybe he DOES remember but got scared?) and not take any responsibility for me getting a little more honest with my feelings for him. I got a little emotional and told him he was gonna make me cry..and that's exactly what I did...I went outside with my best friend and bawled my eyes out for a bit because I didn't get why he was mad at me! The guys mom ended up coming out (we're friends and she knows that I like her son) and was mad at him that he made me cry. Lo & behold a little bit later he comes outside for no reason, takes a look around, sees that I'm there with my friend and goes back in. So, I get my act together and go back in and finish enjoying myself. I end up talking to his mom and she tells me that he's got a lot goin gon right now (which I know) and she knows I care about him. It made me feel a little better. End of the night comes and he's sitting at the bar with his good friend who is also a friend of mine and then I say bye to my guy. I say "I'm not drunk anymore are you gonna talk to me or not?" He just told me to call him later and we'd talk about it. I said fine, but he'd better answer. I told him that I didn't want to put my feelings out on the line for him and he said "don't put your feelings out on the line for me." I ask him if it's because he thinks he's no good for me (he told me that back in May after we first hooked up) and he said no, he just wasn't looking to get into a relationship right now and I told him I wasn't either (well,just because I was mad!) I ended up giving him another hug and leaving. So, I called him and he didn't answer, which I expected, but I texted him and told him I was sorry, but I didn't understand why he was upset at me for being drunk but it was ok for him to call me drunk and that I felt vulnerable for what I said to him and he's not being responsible with what he told me. I just said I hope he can forgive me and that I do care about him. So, I really don't know what I'm asking, but why would he be mad at me for being drunk....do you think he DOES remember what he said and now kinda regrets it and is pushing me away? Just trying to figure out his behavior!!

[JenAlexisLuv]

I should mention that I'm NOT upset that he said he didn't want to get into a relationship now because his court issues have to do with the reason him & his ex aren't together....I'm willing to wait and I'm not rushing him into anything...like I said, I said it to him so he would kinda think I didn't care afterall.

[4 ratties]

He hangs out in bars, has memory problems, is a jerk, and doesn't want any commitment. What the heck is so appealing here?

[beautybelle440]

I don't think he wants to commit to you, for some reaoson. Your goal is to find out what that reason is so you dont waste any more time

[basilandthyme]

I replied on your other thread

[countryrider13]

He's just not that into you! I wouldn't waste my time trying for him anymore than you already have.

[DalM0m]

This person is NOT worth your tears. At best you are a booty call. If you want to be more, wrap your head around the fact that you need a different guy. There is no waiting. There is no potential for a relationship. Even if he wasn't already rejecting you, let's look at why this is a bad idea.

Bad boys can be alluring. They have an air of danger & mystery. However, those exact qualities make them lousy boyfriends & worse husbands / fathers. You cannot change them so don't try because you will just get hurt in the end.

Look at his track record:

1. Connected to his last break up is some event that required court intervention. Seriously, if the end of your relationship requires the cops & courts to get involved, you are bad news.

2. He probably doesn't have a driver's license. (I'm basing this on the fact that you had to pick him up for one booty call & his mommy picked him up at the bar)

3. His own mother told you that that "he has a lot going on right now". He's her son, so she can't directly say bad things about him but let me translate: it means that until he gets his act together, she's stuck with him & the mess he made but she is really hoping you are smart enough to run screaming from him.

4. He gets drunk around his child. Can you say endangering the welfare of a minor, which is another crime?

5. He either suffers from alcoholic black outs or he's a liar. Neither are desirable qualities in a mate.

6. The legal issues in his life will most likely make it difficult for him to get or keep a job. Do you want to support him?

7. He's a hypocrite. He can get drunk & you're supposed to jump but you aren't allowed to have a good time.

Hopefully the sex is amazing because what else are you getting out of this and why do you want to continue? You don't have to answer on the message board but you better know the answer.