weird thing last night/sad day today

[overanxious]

so i went out with this girl months ago...probably like 6....went out for drinks....we were there for like 6 hours...drinking...it was kind of weird...awkward.....but there were laughs...some decent convo

i texted her the next day saying "i hope you had a goodtime" she said "I did"....i asked if maybe shed like to do it again....she said "ya ill get back to you..im real busy with school and work"....and she had mentioned how she was pursuing a masters or something and worked full time when we went out...

so i saw her once randomly at a bar....a few months later....she was with friends or whatever for her birthday....she came over and we chatted for a few mins and did a shot....

last night i was outside a bar smoking....and she had been in there and i noticed her real quick.....when she came out she stopped and came over and gave me a hug and asked if i remembered her....i said of course....she then suggested we should go out again sometime.....im not even sure how the rest of the convo went as i was pretty drunk.....i know most girls like to be pursued...im not always that aggressive.....but i had generally passed it off as her not being very interested after the initial date thing...

today i was looking for something in an old drawer i rarely use...in the corner of it i found an old card from my ex....it was a card from around thanksgiving(around a year and half into our relationship) she had sent me from her parents a few days before i was coming there to stay for a long thanksgiving weekend.....the front of it has a huge piece of pumpkin pie on a plate with a fork on it and says "you are the whipped cream on my pumpkin pie" with a great message inside about how she was so excited and couldnt wait to see me and some of the sweetest things...i teared up.....i spent so much time at first thinking about how bad she was sometimes...and in the end it cost me a friendship i still wanted....but i couldnt get over some things and never really looked at myself and my mistakes...it made me remember how special and good i used to feel....and how i blew it by not making her feel the same way all of the time

[searock]

What's the question?

[DalM0m]

Are you asking us if you should ask out the girl from the bar? If so, the answer is yes.

If you are asking us if you should call your EX, the answer is no.

[overanxious]

No real question ...just venting using a place to write things down

I have no intention of calling the ex...she's happy again with someone else and that's fine

It just made me sad to think about she was good at making me feel special and good...and I wasn't good at it...I really did love her a lot...she's a bit nuts sometimes and instead dealing with it I took it personally and threatens to leave a lot...sometimes it's hard for frustration and love to exist in the same place....I could have done more in retrospect to show her how much she meant...I took her for granted and wish I hadn't......sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get that feeling back

[Tug]

Im going through the same thing you are. IMO we forget about the things the OP did that hurt us but we hang on to the good things. You have to ask yourself if your happier now than you were when you were with your ex? I hurt like a mo-fo since I moved out but when I was living with her I was ALWAYS worried about who she was calling or texting. She had finally wised up and stopped using her cell phone no one ever called her on it but me same goes with the text messages (we were on the same cell phone account). I naturally assumed the worst because she lied so much and was positive she was using her phone and computer at work to go behind my back. My Dr told me that someone in my situation would eventually drive themselves crazy with worry and he was right. Im no longer worried about what she's doing, now my heart hurts because she's not in my life. I can get over the broken heart but I would never stop worrying about what she was doing behind my back. Sometimes theres just to much damage and regardless of how much you still care the only thing to do is to let go and move on. It fvcking hurts and its hard to do but in the end you have to do whats good for you regardless of the pain your feeling at the time

[overanxious]

i hear you tug....i do....my ex told me "i love and care about you...i want you to be a part of my life"....and in the end even if we werent together i wanted us to be friends...but what she did hurt me badly..."i wanted us to get better and even if they didnt i just wanted to feel like your everything"....i just wanted things to be done in a good/clean manner and id have been fine...and of course...i flipped out on her several times and we dont speak to each other....even now that i can get over the fact that shes happy and has moved on with someone else and i can realize my mistakes....sometimes i wish that someone i shared with so much that i could catch up and share a conversation with.....cause i always wanted us to remain friends but its hard when someone treats you with disrespect and disloyalty