Screwed over BAD

[pcmaster]

Thats great Tug. Focus on loving yourself and many problems will disapear.

Why did she did what she did? You could quess and analyze all your life but some things just dont have solid reason. People are stupid and thats all there is. Some girls are like this

[overanxious]

cause tug...some people arent capable of genuinely loving someone else...they only truely love themselves....even if they are good at acting....my ex doesnt think shes selfish(in fact she thinks shes the most selfless person there is)...yet all of her actions were pretty much the opposite...they might do a nice thing here or there...or buy you a gift...or make you something great to eat...but in the end its for payoff....

im sure shes doing all the same things with her new guy she did with me....baking treats/making dinner...doing his laundry...cleaning his place...giving him cards and notes....and in the end...its so hell buy her a nice ring she can show off to everyone on facebook...have a fairy tale wedding she can make all about herself...and so hell take care of everything financial so she never has to lift a finger to help otherwise....build her a dreamhouse to her specs.....its all about validating herself and making herself seem worthy of such a life

[Tug]

Thanks guys. I've noticed that as time goes by the loneliness and reality of not ever being with her again sets in. This is really taking it's toll on me not to mention my health is getting worst so getting out and living a normal life isnt a possibility. Life just sucks sometimes

[pcmaster]

Thats how it is depression, catch up if you let it. You should run away from depresion. Live more than you ever did. DO sports, go out, get a pet. If you cant do sport then visit church build fate in god and it will be easier to believe in bright future. When I was in your situation sometimes it was hard to breath so depressed I was alone in my bed. But I started to go out watched all good movies in cinema and find counselling, started to ride bike again and it was easier.

[Tug]

Funny you should say a pet. Because I wanted to get away from her as fast as I could I just grabbed a few things thinking I could get the rest later. Turns out when I left I abandoned my dogs and their her's now. She's always gone and the dogs will be in a cage 20 hours a day, when I was living with her because I work out of my home the dogs were free to do as they pleased. Those dogs were like my kids I spent more time with them than her, she knows how much they mean to me and how it would effect me if I couldnt have them. Ya I know their just dogs but their my dogs!

I have to take care of my health before I can start working out again, if I could get back into the gym having another woman in my life to replace her wouldnt be a problem.

PC Master I cant thank you enough for taking some time out of your day and posting on this thread, you have no idea how much it helps.

[PeterPeter]

Stay strong!

[Tug]

Thanks Pete, I dont have any choice but to be strong. That relationship is done... over! I was laying in bed missing her like I have been than I started to think of her past and anyone who hooks up with this woman is headed for a lifetime of crap. She has the need to attract the attention of other men, that need is so strong that shes cheated in 2 of her 3 marriage not to mention what she did to me. She has no idea what the term commitment means. I keep asking myself why I feel so bad knowing that she is the way she is and my life will actually be better without her being in it. It just doesnt make any sense why she had to do me the way she did. I just wanted her to treat me the way she wanted to be treated.

[pcmaster]

Stop thinking about her Tug. Now its all about you man.

[Tug]

PC Master I just tried to send you a message but it was to long. Your right and believe me Im working my ass off to forget about her and move on with my life.

[Tug]

Its been about 2 1/2 months since we last talked. I've noticed that as time goes by I forget about how she jacked me over and start listening to my emotions and want to call her but I know I cant. I was married for 13 years before my wife left me (sound like a loser dont I) and it didnt hurt this bad. Im not going to do anything stupid, its just that Im in a world of hurt right now.

[pcmaster]

"Pain the only thing thats real. Thats all I wana feel."

Yes its hard but you cant stop while in hell. Have to keep going to walk out of it. This previous relationship have only that much value as you gave it. And other person proved that its not worth anything.

Why did wife left you? Why it felt easier? What you did diferently than now?

[FAndrews]

Stay strong and never look back, if you spend too long looking at where you've been, you been won't see the road ahead so to speak.

[Tug]

Thank you FA, I dont feel as bad as I did I guess the meds are starting to work. Now Im pretty much focused on my health and the extremes Im going to have to through get it back on track. To say I was "Screwed Over Bad" is an understatement I dont thing I can put into words how bad she screwed up my life but I let it go and am depending on the Lord to help through these trying times.

PCMaster, my wife and I had a pretty good relationship but it wasnt perfect but we had a solid foundation and I never knew there was a problem. Than one day I came home and she was gone, I called her at work and they said she quit the day before. She called me later that evening and said she was sorry that she left the way she did but she was homesick and needed to be with her family. She said if I want to stay married I'd have to quit my job and move 1400 miles to some small town in the middle of no where, to say I was crushed was an understatement. I went to work the following day and talked to my boss who was more like a father figure to me, I told him Im quitting and why but he wouldnt accept my resignation. He said he'd give me as much time as I want off to get my marriage worked out but if I quit and the marriage doesnt work out I'll be divorced and unemployed. I took a week off and stayed with her but I could clearly see she had changed. On her birthday we went out, she got pretty drunk and fell asleep. When she was sleeping I got my things together and called a cab, got a hotel room and flew out the following day. We haven't talked since. After 13 years of marriage it took me two long years before I completely recovered but when I recovered I made the most of it and those years were actually best years of my life.

[Tug]

Just a quick update to tell everyone those of you who are still dealing with a broken heart it does get better. I think about her from time to time but its usually a fleeting thought and passes as quickly as it came. As for her? Who knows I refuse to go near her house or that part of town for that matter.

My health is getting worst so I guess that helps in a way in terms of focusing on something different. Thanks for all your support

[Tug]

The Dr changed my medication and it helped immensely so much so that I started going to the gym again and hooked up with an old friend. We had coffee and I was honest about everything and basically said I'm just looking for someone to hang out with and that it'll be awhile before I get into another relationship. She was cool with it so we'll see how it goes.

As far as my ex I don't think about her anymore, hard to figure this one out but I was missing her like a big dog one day but could care less about her the next. My life is good and I realize "I deserve sooo much better" thanks for all your help