Is groping, heavy kissing normal for a first date?

[ElizabethB]

Can anyone who thinks straight explain this to me? I feel completely miserable and sad.

I was talking to a guy for about 6 weeks online. He always called me beautiful, sweet. Told me how much he misses me and wants to see. Then, there was also a talk about what he would do with me sexually. For me - it was just online talking and it was never dirty-dirty. We both are adults in late twenties.

We have met a few days ago. It was very weird at first because I was not sure if he will like me in a real world. But it did not take him more than 30 minutes to hold me around shoulder and kiss me. It was not shy kiss. It was really deep French kissing and suddenly his hands were everywhere- around my back, my chest, my butt and even my crotch.
I was shocked and kept pushing his hands from certain parts of my body. He would always stop kissing and apologize.
But when he kissed me , he was all over me again. Putting me on table, pushing against wall, kissing me heavily. One time he hugged me from behind to kiss my neck while pushing his crotch against my butt and let me feel him.
I was so very confused but I liked kissing him. I could hear his breathing and everything was very intense.

He was very sweet though. Kissing my cheeks, forehead and holding my hand while walking. Later on, when I thought he was leaving he took me in his car, pulled seat back and start to kissing me and touching me under my clothes while being on the top of me. I told him to slow down, removed his hand from my body and kept kissing him when he started to mess with something down there. Honestly, I did not have a clue what was going on. He got his thing out and before I knew it he put my hand on it. He tried a few times to get his hand in my pants but I never let him. After that, I told him I have to go.

He said “ I figured this is last time I see you.” I did not know what I felt at that moment except disappointment. I asked if he does not want to see me anymore.He said he wants to see me as often as possible. We hugged, kissed and then left. He texted me later on to apologize about the way he was and said that he hope to see me again. He said he is sorry if he upset me.

Part of me feels this was wrong on so many levels but other part of me is blaming myself for it. I should never talk about sex with him through chat. I told him I won’t sleep with him because I do not know him yet. I actually did not think he would kiss me anyway. I am attracted to him because he is very handsome/charming and that’s why I did not mind his kiss and some touch. But after all, it was too much. I felt used… But there is also something what makes me coming back to him and text him back. He kept telling me he wants to see me again and I said I want to see him too. He said he wants me but he is also glad I did not slept with him that day. I just don't know what to think about it anymore. I am mad at myself for liking him because I am afraid it will only hurt me. It already does...

I have no experience in dating scene these days, so is this normal on first date? Do guys normally do that stuff?

[Wakeup]

I have no experience in dating scene these days, so is this normal on first date? Do guys normally do that stuff?

Is it normal for you to let them do that stuff? He's pushing to see how far you will let him go. You should be careful. One day you're going to get into a car with someone you don't know and they won't stop when you say no.

You are the boss of you. If you don't want him to do what he was doing then stop him, get out of his company and tell him that you like him but you don't like how he is pressuring you.

If you don't want to give the impression that screwing someone you just met 2 hours ago is "normal" for you, then stop talking to them through chat like that is what you are used to having done to you.

You don't have to have experience.. you just have to have personal boundaries that you won't cross or let some stranger man you've been sexting with cross either. You teach people how to treat you. You can certainly let him know that you are fond of him and want to get to know him better without giving him an impression that you are not the least discerning on who you bed and when you'll bed them.

So: Keep all that in mind if he calls you again.

[michelle23]

Ditch him. Your instincts are telling you that you dont like this behaviour and you should always listen to your gut. If a guy was that forward with me on a first date, he would never see me again. Dont waste your time on this prat

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[FlaCooln]

Nope, not normal because he went WAY to far. Yes, you may have been a bit too nice refusing his advances, but IMHO if your pushing/moving his hands away that means stop/too far.

I met my exGF online and chatted for about 2 weeks before our 1st date, but not once did we get sexual with our conversations besides making sure that each other likes to enjoy sex regularly. We (notice I said "we") did get very touchy freely on our 1st date, but I didn't grope like that until it was clear we were attracted and my first move was to put my hand on her knee. She responded by putting her hand on top of mine and she went in for the first kiss because she didn't want to wait until the end of the date.

But, I sure as hell didn't pull a sneak attack and whip my junk out like that. Shows a lack of respect and a lack of class. If I whip mine out better believe that it is in due course and what she wanted. Careful with that dude.

[RyanJames]

All that is on offer here is sex, at this stage. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with sex on first or second dates, sex is fun and feels nice, so if you want to have sex with this guy, then go for it and enjoy, if you dont, dont. No biggie either way. But, do not set your expectations beyond what is really, genuinely on offer here, because then you put yourself in a position to get hurt. By the way, he does sound a bit desperate for a shag, so I imagine that he wont be very good in bed (or in the car) so personally I dont think it is even worth the sex, I would move on and find someone who can give you what you want, be that a respectful relationship or an enjoyable sexual encounter.

[regularguy1]

Not cool, be careful with him

[basilandthyme]

Doesn't sound very charming to me - sounds more like a clueless teenage boy who's desperate to get laid.

[pcmaster]

Well at least you cant say he didnt tried. Did hes apologies made you feel better or just made him lose respect in your eyes?

And yes some guys do that on a dirst date but only with very beautiful girls.

[surfhb2]

Either he's a deranged sex fiend, taking advantage of your sexy conversations or he's completely inept at dating. Find a decent guy.

Now if you just want to Fucck the guy, then he's perfect!!!

[4 ratties]

I have hung out with guys I met online and talked to for awhile and we usually end up having sex that night. I didn't feel used because I wanted it to. But my point is it seems a lot of guys online want sex. They're kind of desperate. When I met my boyfriend in person I knew it was different and I didn't give it up so fast cuz I wanted him to respect me more. Don't beat yourself up over it. Him making that comment about being the last time seeing you was a really red flag type thing to say. I know he apologized but still be a little careful with this guy

[Boisdevie]

He was pushing way too far way too fast. He sounds like a dick to be honest. But when he was doing all the online sexy talk that should have been your moment to tell him to calm down or piss off - you didn't so perhaps he thought you were equally horny.

[joanna1]

No, he was too hands on and hands on every part of you. Disrespecting you while he was at it. Listen to the part of you that found it uncomfortable.

[ElizabethB]

Well at least you cant say he didnt tried. Did hes apologies made you feel better or just made him lose respect in your eyes?

And yes some guys do that on a dirst date but only with very beautiful girls.

When he apologized it made me feel better...

[ElizabethB]

I don't understand myself anymore. Right after that, I felt used and I did not really like that we crossed so many boundaries. I take my responsibility because he thought that I meant what we were writing about. To me - it was just a talk just like him telling me that he will marry me one day.

What I don't understand now is - that I miss him and want to see him even more. I don't want to sleep with him though. I can't. I would not sleep with anyone that fast.
Some part of me is pushing everything what I did not like away and all I can see are good things about him. Is that crazy? I don't want to feel that way because it makes ma feel sad and desperate.

[pcmaster]

Dont worry about it. If you feel sad and desperate no guy will want to sleep with you.

You can meet him again and set "boundaries" straight away. Will that make you feel better? Is it possible that you would be disapointed if he would listen to you and wont try to have more of your hot body?