Is groping, heavy kissing normal for a first date?

[dickriculous]

Dont worry about it. If you feel sad and desperate no guy will want to sleep with you.

You can meet him again and set "boundaries" straight away. Will that make you feel better? Is it possible that you would be disapointed if he would listen to you and wont try to have more of your hot body?

[DalM0m]

I don't understand myself anymore. Right after that, I felt used and I did not really like that we crossed so many boundaries. I take my responsibility because he thought that I meant what we were writing about. To me - it was just a talk just like him telling me that he will marry me one day.

What I don't understand now is - that I miss him and want to see him even more. I don't want to sleep with him though. I can't. I would not sleep with anyone that fast.
Some part of me is pushing everything what I did not like away and all I can see are good things about him. Is that crazy? I don't want to feel that way because it makes ma feel sad and desperate.

You are going to get yourself date raped. I don't say that lightly & it's not a joking matter but holy cr@p you are sending the worst mixed messages & the wrong guy is going to conclude no means yes because you don't want to be responsible for your own decisions & instead want to be "talked into it."

Please, please, please be careful.

Yes, some hugging & kissing or even sex can be part of some peoples 1st encounters because it's their choice. If you prefer something slower & want to get to know the person do not talk about sex or marriage in explicit detail before you even meet IRL. Many internet dates conclude that sexual discussions are a prelude to sexual consent. If you are not happy about someone's behavior shut it down unequivocally with your words & actions. Walk away. Sit up. Turn on a light.

[Wakeup]

I don't understand myself anymore. Right after that, I felt used and I did not really like that we crossed so many boundaries. I take my responsibility because he thought that I meant what we were writing about. To me - it was just a talk just like him telling me that he will marry me one day.

What I don't understand now is - that I miss him and want to see him even more. I don't want to sleep with him though. I can't. I would not sleep with anyone that fast.
Some part of me is pushing everything what I did not like away and all I can see are good things about him. Is that crazy? I don't want to feel that way because it makes ma feel sad and desperate.

You liked it. That just means you are human. But you don't have to forego your own personal boundaries for someone who only wants you for sex. If you think you feel bad now, if you keep it up and you have sex with him before he's shown you in actions (not stupid words) that he wants you for more then sex, then you will really feel bad when he doesn't call you or, only calls you when he's horny. Don't feel bad for feeling human, definately do NOT feel bad for putting the breaks on and stopping him when you weren't ready. DO learn the lesson that you led him to think that you were willing to do him on first meet so that you don't give any other guys that impression.

If he calls you to see you again then tell him upfront that you'd like to get to know him before you go to bed with him. If you can talk dirty to him then you should be able to talk straight to him as well. If he doesn't call you back then you've dodged a bullet and you're better off without him messing with you emotionally.

[Boisdevie]

To me - it was just a talk just like him telling me that he will marry me one day.

He said that even before you met? Wow, in my book that makes him a grade A loony.

[dickriculous]

You are going to get yourself date raped.

hmmm....?

http://www.loveforum.net/threads/83066-Men-Players-How-to-give-him-a-taste-of-his-own-medicine?p=927328#post927328

I must be psychic



Edit: But why didn't you take my advice about giving him a taste of his own medicine OP? You wouldn't be in this mess if you did.

[smackie9]

I believe you have a misconception of what this guy truly is. I agree with the others he's a predator/player, using the internet to butter up lonely ladies and pushing for sex. Be real careful about meeting guys on the internet. You don't know what kind of mental issues they may have, criminal record, drug problem, etc. He could be loony, and was so caught up in a fantasy.......scary shit.

Next time meet up at a public place where there is a lot of people and DO NOT get into his car. Sadly women have to protect themselves 24 7....don't get so complacent or you will find yourself getting raped.

[dickriculous]

I believe you have a misconception of what this guy truly is. I agree with the others he's a predator/player, using the internet to butter up lonely ladies and pushing for sex. Be real careful about meeting guys on the internet. You don't know what kind of mental issues they may have, criminal record, drug problem, etc. He could be loony, and was so caught up in a fantasy.......scary shit.

Next time meet up at a public place where there is a lot of people and DO NOT get into his car. Sadly women have to protect themselves 24 7....don't get so complacent or you will find yourself getting raped.

So....you're suggesting she actually meets up with him again? I mean, I hear you about having to protect yourself but me personally, I'd rather protect myself from food poisoning by not eating the bad food than by sprinkling an antibiotic over it before eating it.

[Wakeup]

I think she meant Next guy you meet, meet in a public place. Not necessarily the guy she mis-led into thinking she was a "goer" nudge, nudge, wink, wink, when she really isn't! *shrugs*

[dickriculous]

Oh yeah...now I get it. Thanks for clarifying.

[pcmaster]

I wonder how much sex the rest of the guys are getting as reward for posting here.

[ElizabethB]

I see what you all are saying. Thank you for that! I feel very stupid and naive. When he apologized through text, I kept talking to him. He said he wants to meet me and I should let him know when I am free. I told him, but he could not make it that day. He sent me a few nice messages (he does not call). I don't know what to think about him anymore.
Part of me screams "wake up, what kind of guy would pull out his salami on first date!?", but there is also other part which likes him because he is handsome, sweet and nice and can't believe there can be anything wrong about him since some of a people I know love him.
So I am pretty much stuck. I can't even stop thinking about him and it makes me sad. Sad because I think he may not like me the way I like him and also because I do not listen to logic part of my brain.

For those who said that I like what he was doing...I liked kissing and hugging. Soft touching from him. But I really did not like the way he groped me or touch my crotch. Plus that pulling out part was just too much.

[searock]

Are you trolling? I can't believe you're actually still considering going out with him again. Unbelievable. *shakes head*

[ElizabethB]

Are you trolling? I can't believe you're actually still considering going out with him again. Unbelievable. *shakes head*

Not sure if I have right meaning of word trolling but I do not. I guess, I am just blind and naive. Sorry.

[pcmaster]

Dont listen to them. They dont feel what you feel and you live in UK where most girls are sluty too. So basicaly you have to say the guy that you want to be treated with tender and respect. Its your body and your rules.

[ElizabethB]

Dont listen to them. They dont feel what you feel and you live in UK where most girls are sluty too. So basicaly you have to say the guy that you want to be treated with tender and respect. Its your body and your rules.

Thanks. But I do not feel slutty. I was in long term relationship and slept with only man in my life. I guess that's what makes me naive when it comes to dating and other men.