(No mean comments pls) I'm falling hard for my cousin. Feel lost.

[heavymetalkid]

Okay I know my boundaries and I'm putting this on this site because I don't know where else to go! First of all were both 20, live 300-400 miles away. I'm single and she has a girlfriend (bisexual, serious relationship, which I won't interfere with). We can't text or Facebook (tough phone plan), and were not biological cousins (!)

I saw her in may which was the first time I saw her in 4 years. During childhood I didn't talk to her that much but our families used to visit a lot. When we caught up this year it was pretty nice. We have more in common than I thought we had and connected surprisingly well.

It wast untill after she left I had an insane crush in her for 1-2 weeks (and hasn't completely went away). The problem is I'm gonna see her again this thanksgiving (when she was a minor her parents forbid her from visiting, pretty bad childhood).

I just don't know what to do, and seeing her is inevitable. I'm not goin to take action that's just uncalled for. I do know her more now and really care about her but these feelings are strong and hard to explain. I want to somehow let her know but dont want to screw anything up. any help would be appreciated.

Lastly, I do focus on other girls to get my mind off her but she's one of the few girls I wouldn't mind spending a lot of time with..

[Rowen]

Okay, so the fact that you're not biological, in my opinion, makes it a tiny bit better, but I would still say to shy away just as you said you're trying to...

If she doesn't know your feelings for her, I, first of all, would not share them at all. The way I see it, it would only lead to trouble by creating a situation where she's unsure how to handle this, even if you tell her all about how you don't want to ruin things. Keep it to yourself, and act natural when you see her. Remember that it's just one day, and you can get through it.

Other than that, just keep trying to find another woman. Go on some dates and see what happens. You never know who that special person may end up being..

I hope this helps, at least a little.

[heavymetalkid]

Yea I know it seems like there's nothing I can do. The least I can do is try to bond more for a few days. When she left we were texting I was saying it sucks how we probably won't see each other for a while and she knew well see each other more which is always a plus to see your family.

[TablesandChairs]

Biological or not, she's family and that's territory you'd be wise not to step into. You'll find someone else eventually and when you do, it'll be a relief that she won't carry the label of 'cousin'. I'd push this aside if I were you.

[TheEvilJester]

Yeah, I would have to agree with the general thoughts here. You not being biologically related does make a slight difference, but she is still family either way. I mean, think of it like this. What if you had an adopted sister. You grew up with her your whole life as your sister, but she wasn't actually biologically related to you. Don't you think you'd still think of her as your sister anyway?

So, whether she is biologically related to you or not, she is still part of your family. That is territory you just do not cross. Though, if you can get over those feelings, there is certainly no harm in being good friends with your cousin. Just not if you think it will only make those feelings stronger. Then it might be best just to see her at family get togethers when you have no other choice.

Mind you, I don't say any of this intending to judge at all. It sounds like you weren't all that close when you were young, so beyond the family ties, she is basically just some other person. You didn't have that growing up together sort of feel. But, I still think it best not to cross that boundary.

[okwhat2013]

I think not beIng biological cousins is more than a slight difference.