Girlfriend Addicted to cyber sex

[sajib]

That means that you are not proud of you sex life with him which really puts your relationship in real danger. I think you need to get professional help.

[somehelp4me]

Good for you for stopping doing that with others who are not your bf and if you don't like your bf masturbating to porn discuss it with him.

[lausieboo]

To be honest I would never get professional help its just not in my nature and something I feel very uncomfortable with. I understand if you suffer from a mental disorder but I don't like how doctors just throw pills at people these days. Like my cousin has depression and he was on all these pills but he stopped taking them and now feels much better. I just don't believe in therapists, I was brought to one as a child for been too tempermental but he did nothing but get me to draw pictures (I can control my emotions very well now but still have a fiery side). Anyways what I'm really wondering is sex the most important thing like I think what annoys me more is if he try to pressurise me into it which turns me off but he rarely does that and prob wouldn't if I gave him more sex. I do want to masturbate though so I am confused because I am obviously horny and when we do have sex its great. Its just I don't want to every day or second day.

[smackie9]

Just because you have a "great" BF doesn't mean you are compatible. If this is how you feel about sex with your BF this early in your relationship, it's only going to get worse down the road. I don't think it stems from mental issues or whatever.....it could be the fact that you don't find him as attractive in every aspect like you should. This is something that happens naturally to anyone.

[lausieboo]

Just because you have a "great" BF doesn't mean you are compatible. If this is how you feel about sex with your BF this early in your relationship, it's only going to get worse down the road. I don't think it stems from mental issues or whatever.....it could be the fact that you don't find him as attractive in every aspect like you should. This is something that happens naturally to anyone.

We've actually been together for three years and where im from you don't meet guys like him. I don't want to throw him away when I know how lucky I am to meet such a caring nice guy. In my city all the guys are a-holes and cheat and I'm not joking. Your prob thinking my bf prob does too but he's from another country and were together every day and I actually trust him completely and not any girls I know are like that and my friends always tell me how lucky I am. All they do is fight with their bf's all the time and get jealous and don't trust them How can I walk away from someone that good?

[RobertWQ]

May I point out that there is infidelity in your relationship right now? As in, you have been cheating on him. Albeit in a slightly less severe way than typical physical contact.

[smackie9]

You are in denial. Take it from an old timer, you don't want to "settle" because he's a nice guy. You will eventually end up taking a step further and physically cheat. You are not getting it, emotionally he doesn't do it for you, which leads to the lack of sexual desire for him. Staying with someone just because he treats you right is not enough to sustain a relationship for the long haul which has been proven with your desire for cyber sex.

Robert already pointed out, there is infidelity in the relationship but this time you are the asshole.....how does it feel?

[lausieboo]

You are in denial. Take it from an old timer, you don't want to "settle" because he's a nice guy. You will eventually end up taking a step further and physically cheat. You are not getting it, emotionally he doesn't do it for you, which leads to the lack of sexual desire for him. Staying with someone just because he treats you right is not enough to sustain a relationship for the long haul which has been proven with your desire for cyber sex.

Robert already pointed out, there is infidelity in the relationship but this time you are the asshole.....how does it feel?

There's is no need to be rude calling me an asshole when I have come here for advice. Yes I know it is a form of cheating! I have never said I wasn't wrong but I also on't want to throw away 3 years if I can fix it. This has only been goin on a few months and he has put on some weight so it could be just physical thing. I'm not just gonna give up just cause I don't want to jump on him every day. I also stopped doing cyber sex because I can admit my own faults.

[michelle23]

The only reason your sex drive is lower with your bf right now is coz "your addicted to cyber sex" in your own words. Its the same if someone has an addiction to porn or sex etc-they go off emotional sex with someone they care for completely. Thats why its destructive and detrimental to a healthy relationship

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[Skeptical]

Oh, girls feel guilty about these things while guys do it and never even think about it as cheating..

Funny thing..

[Wakeup]

Oh, girls feel guilty about these things while guys do it and never even think about it as cheating..

Funny thing..

What kind of freak guys do you know? I don't know one guy that wouldn't consider cyber sex while in a committed relationship as not cheating... unless he was doing it with his Significant Other, obviously.

[smackie9]

I said that because was so easy for you to call a cheater an asshole .....but when it's you that is the cheater you get offended? Obviously you didn't learn from your past experience or somehow you forgot what it's like to be cheated on enough to know the damage it can cause a relationship. It wasn't enough to stop you?

If you want to "fix" this you need to come clean with your BF and ask for help. It's take two to repair a relationship and he has a responsability as well as you do to work through this.....if he doesn't know what has been broken, he's not going to know what to fix.

[smackie9]

The only reason your sex drive is lower with your bf right now is coz "your addicted to cyber sex" in your own words. Its the same if someone has an addiction to porn or sex etc-they go off emotional sex with someone they care for completely. Thats why its destructive and detrimental to a healthy relationship

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I believe the lower sex drive is what turned her to cybersex Michelle.

[smackie9]

.....OP I don't have a hate on for ya. Wouldn't you feel better if he knew of your confusion and hurt? Don't you think he would be the best one to help you with this, instead of a bunch of strangers on the internet?

[lausieboo]

I said that because was so easy for you to call a cheater an asshole .....but when it's you that is the cheater you get offended? Obviously you didn't learn from your past experience or somehow you forgot what it's like to be cheated on enough to know the damage it can cause a relationship. It wasn't enough to stop you?

If you want to "fix" this you need to come clean with your BF and ask for help. It's take two to repair a relationship and he has a responsability as well as you do to work through this.....if he doesn't know what has been broken, he's not going to know what to fix.

No you weren't giving constructive criticism you were just been rude for the sake of been rude. I was talking in general terms trying to point out the reasons why I don't want to throw away my relationships. If I told him he would leave me so why ruin a relationship when I can fix it? and we can always try to fix our sex life but I also don't want to hurt his feelings when I don't even know what is wrong. I never said it was bad I wouldn't stay if it was bad it's great just I had a really intense relationship previously that also entailed alot of fighting