Hi OP, does back to before mean you are having plenty of sex with your bf and not doing the cyber thing, or having plenty of sex with your bf and still doing the cyber thing?

Cyber sex is something that we have never been able to do before in human history and it allows us to satisfy our natural desire for multiple partners without actually having to physically have sex with multiple partners, so for me it has a value.

The problem here of course is the deception.

If you continue to deceive your bf in this regard you will both grow apart, you will begin to deceive him in other ways and one day it will all explode as you become unable to contain the lies any more. If you want to hang on to this guy, then deception is not going to work.

I think just telling him outright wont work either, so you need to work towards the truth for the long term survival of your relationship.

Could you try asking him if he would like to try introducing some fantasies into your love lives? Ask him the sort of fantasies he would be interested in doing, it may involve nurses outfits for you (or him - who knows!), it may involve a bit of bondage etc. You of course then set the scene to be able to talk about your own fantasies in an open and constructive way, that is more likely to get accepted.

You could then say that one of your fantasies is that you are masturbating whilst performing a sex show for a stranger on the internet, your bf walks in and discovers you, then tells the other guy online where to go and then takes you roughly (not too roughly) to stamp his own mark of ownership. Over time the fantasies can be varied, you may feel it would work better for him to discover you with a girl online and even for you and your bf to have sex while a girl instructs you what to do.

I am a guy and I know the way a lot of guys think, this sort of thing may well be in his mind already and cybersex allows you to effectively have a threesome in a safe way and this allows you to expand on your personal fantasies as a couple in an open and honest way.

Many people have fantasies and desires beyond the per-conceived boundaries their traditional view of relationships and this is difficult to reconcile, but it is natural, so I believe we should try to find ways to work with our nature rather than fight against it, because doing that is deceiving ourselves and in a relationship, deceit, whether towards others or ourselves, is unhealthy.