Girlfriend Addicted to cyber sex

[lausieboo]

I love my boyfriend but I am addicted to webcam cyber sex. I have the perfect boyfriend who I love so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with him so why do I do this? Especially when I feel so disgusted with myself afterwards? Is it classed as cheating? If someone has any clue why an educated person from a nice family does this with the perfect boyfriend! I haven't done it in a while ut I still get urges and sometimes I just can't stop.

[pcmaster]

Addiction to cyber sex could be folowing addiction from internet. If you could focus while online to get done what you after and then just step away from computer it would be easier. Like know excatly what you want to do before using computer then do it and step away. Otherwise just keep mile away from bad thoughts and things that leads to them.

[RyanJames]

I think it all comes back to my operational theory that life is basically about sex. We are here because our parents had sex and our purpose in life is to have sex and reproduce. Many people have found more to life than just sex and I believe they are the lucky ones, who have met a sexual partner that can fulfil them completely. For the rest of us who are still searching for that "one" there is a mixture of other things to keep us entertained. So if you feel you are addicted to sex (in any form) then my belief is, that is what you are supposed to feel addicted to as per your nature as a human being - in other words it is totally normal. If it interferes with your life, then you may have to learn how to get on top of it so you can still hold down a job and be a valuable member of society, but other than that, sex in all forms, that doesnt hurt anyone, should be OK. I dont think anything is cheating, so long as there are no lies and deception involved, in this case it would appear that you are kinda deceiving your bf because you are doing this cyber thing behind his back. You should discuss it with him, invite him to join and maybe even consider expanding to actual physical sex, 3 somes and more somes, to include your bf.

[Heart Healer]

Hi lausieboo,

If you feel you are wrong, if you feel its an addiction, if your conscious is not allowing you to do that and your instincts stopping you, then don't do that. Nothing becomes addiction until and unless you allow it to become. It's all about how beautifully you control your mind because mind is something that directs all your actions. You understand, you have a boyfriend and you love him a lot. Whenever needed, you can get physical with him. Then why die for cyber chat and all the crap there ?

Make a promise to yourself that you won't open these chatting and dating sites for atleast a month or two. Cut all sources through which you involve in all this. If you have a detachable web-cam attached to your screen, pluck it and keep it away. If you have a in-build one, uninstall the webcam drivers and files. Stop thinking about it and try to involve yourself in other activities through which you can gain something. After few weeks, things will improve.

Its your determination towards the whole thing. The more you control your mind, better will be the results. Just make a promise to yourself. Don't spend too much time on your system. Do the needful and shut it down. Gradually, things will come under control. If possible, block your chat friends. You don't deserve to have your body showcased on cyber world. That's dirty !!!

All The Best !!
Take Care !!

[Boisdevie]

Am I the only one who wants to link to her webcam?

[smackie9]

You have an addiction issue because deep down you are not happy dispite what you say. Addiction brings denial and there is something you will not admit to. Seek out therapy, your problems cannot be solved here....you need professional help.

[Exeter19]

yes it is cheating if you are having verbal back and forths on how you want to fck that other guy, not your bf and you get naked and guy gets naked while doing it. how is that not cheating? ask your bf if he thinks its cheating and watch the door slam in your face as he walks out of your life, you know its wrong. wtf.

[lausieboo]

Thanks for the responses and I do feel I spend too much time on the internet. I realise my problem from the comments. I have just graduated university and to be honest I'm doing nothing with my life due to the recession and I know I have to leave my country to get a good job in what I want. I usually only do it when im having a few drinks at home on my own otherwise I can control it. I know me and my bf will be fine if I leave the Country and I am starting to realise this was a choice I made to show my body and its a choice to stop. Some may think I'm selfish not to tell my bf but I will lose him and I know that if I get my act together I'll know then if it's just a phase. It would kill him I am all he wants and I know how lucky I am to have him. I have never shown my face on the webcams I don't know why it's very clinical really and all about me but I think I do it because I know I shouldn't. The main feeling I get is disgust so I know I am wrong.

[pcmaster]

This makes a lot of sense lausieboo. Also its good that you are self aware and can logicaly analyse your mind. It looks like you already understand that avoiding shorterm satifactions is easy once you have longterm goals. Embracing dreams and goals in life is the way to go.

You become as big as your dominant aspiration or as small as your controling desire.

Decisions that have most impact in life is the ones that no one sees.

[joanna1]

It would be cheating to me because your are still being intimate with someone not your partner, if your partner knew and was okay with it, then no not cheating.

[lausieboo]

why isn't my post showing??????

[somehelp4me]

If I was on the other end of it and my girlfriend was doing that with other men, then yes I would feel cheated on.
Unless an agreed upon open relationship, intimacy with others even online is still cheating to lots of people. Same hurt.

[michelle23]

I would class it as cheating yes. Any addiction requires professional help so that should be your next step

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[michelle23]

Btw if all you feel is disgust when you do this then it is a form of self destruction and sex addiction. It could v easily spiral out of control and lead you to doing all sorts of things that you dont really want to do. I urge you to see a counsellor. Good luck

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[lausieboo]

Thanks for the comments I have stopped doing it and don't really want to. Is porn considered cheating? I suppose it isn't when I know my bf masturbates to porn and I'm okay with it! Sometimes I'm scared that our chemistry isn't as strong as previous bf's. I had sex everyday with my ex's but I don't have the same sex drive with my current bf but no one has made me happy like him. All my ex's did was make me cry or fight with me through emotional abuse. My current bf only ever makes me laugh. I just wish everything was perfect but its never like that and he treats me so well.