Having trouble accepting it's over:-(

[Wakeup]

Why the petulance? Goodness, stop embarasing yourself: She's asked you not to contact her and give her space and even in your giving her of her space, you have to do some banal, immature thing that will cement in her mind even further that she's done the right thing in backing away from you and (what appears to be) your immaturity.

Sorry to spill it out but you've shown us here, in a few sentences, in how you've handled yourself that email she sent you was warranted.

"I'll post back all her old birthday and x-mas presents" Don't bother. She didn't asked you to do that and she will only dislike being in your life even more if you carry through with your "threat."

Focus less on her and put it where it should be ~ On your current gf. Get yourself some male friends (or focus on the one's you currently have) and quit being any chicks MALE GIRLFRIEND.

[Wakeup]

Man my ex broke up thru skype, hah . When a person ends it like that , they got something to hide. It is the easy way out.
Sleep with them and dont call them, it is what they deserve.

They are platonic friends. You think she'd sleep with him now? lolzzz

[bluesummer]

I agree with all the above posts, and I have to add you seem to be insulted at a level way above normal that this girl doesn't want to talk to you. When she sends an email like that telling you that you are NOT respecting her space, the LAST thing you should be doing is emailing her back asking if she is willing to 'talk about it' with you. She doesn't WANT to talk to you. At ALL, about ANYTHING.

And sending back her gifts, seriously? So immature. If I had a 'friend' that did this, I would be like "what an immature dick, good riddance" and really not feel bad at all about losing their so-called friendship.

If she's such an important friend, stop talking to her and stop being so pissed about it. It shows and from this end it looks like she's kind of justified. I just wondered why you're not willing to maybe look in the mirror and ask yourself what YOU did to contribute to this situation. It's never one-sided.

[selfishguy]

So, i shouldn't bother being emotionally close to friends, and just be cold and callous like she's been. Got it, lesson learnt.

[dickriculous]

So, i shouldn't bother being emotionally close to friends, and just be cold and callous like she's been. Got it, lesson learnt.

I think I understand your problem OP, and I think I understand how to help.

http://www.amazon.com/Amazon-Exclusive-Phonics-Kindergarten-Complete/dp/160499178X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1384965814&sr=8-1&keywords=hooked+on+phonics

After you've completed the course, come back here and reread the posts you're responding to, after that you should able to interpret these posts properly and apply the advice you've been given. Then thank me for saving your brain. I will gladly accept cash or a prostitute in the place of thanks.

[Wakeup]

So, i shouldn't bother being emotionally close to friends, and just be cold and callous like she's been. Got it, lesson learnt.

Oh wow. I think I'll send you an email telling you to give us space. O.o

[bluesummer]

Got it, lesson learnt.

Clearly not.

Everybody has boundaries guy, and you just seem to like shoving your way through them regardless of how much they protest.

[selfishguy]

Clearly not.

Everybody has boundaries guy, and you just seem to like shoving your way through them regardless of how much they protest.

She's being hysterical and unreasonable. But then, she can act like a bitch, and i'm the one painted as a bad guy. Ho hum!

[Wakeup]

Trolling, troll, trolls.

[Constantinesbr]

In general I meant Wakeup in general

[Wakeup]

^^^ I'm assuming you and the Op are the same person? Otherwise WTF are you on about.. In any event: Thanks, I'll bite because I enjoy telling you what you are, OP: Grow up and accept the fact that you have been dismissed. You are persistent and childish in your pursuit of obtaining your own way. End of.

Instead of acting like a petulant 10 year old how about you learn to let go, learn social graces, learn that when you're being unyielding (as you are being) then you are going to be asked to back off. When you are trolling for attention then you will likely get it but not in the way you want it. Had you stepped back and let her come to you once in a while instead of foisting yourself on her to the point that you've made her uncomfortable and (likely) afraid, then you'd still have your friend in your life.

You may grow with the help of a trained psychiatrist to get to the point that you don't always get your own way in life. Although by the sounds of it, I doubt it.

Now go buy a book about boundaries and how not to cross them.

[selfishguy]

Ok. I am going to call her this weekend and give her a piece of my mind. She is very quick to tears, so i'll have to be hurtful. I'm sick of being treated like this for no bloody reason. I didn't want to make it like this, but she left me no choice.

[Wakeup]

TROLLING, toll, trolls

[Ugly_Swan]

Ok. I am going to call her this weekend and give her a piece of my mind. She is very quick to tears, so i'll have to be hurtful. I'm sick of being treated like this for no bloody reason. I didn't want to make it like this, but she left me no choice.

????No--what??? That's the opposite of what everyone's been telling you.

Here's the thing: if you contact her--it shows you still care etc. it will just make her think you're more pathetic than she already thinks.

I completely understand where you're coming from and how hurtful this is (I was in a similar situation)--but your reaction is all over the place.

You need to 1) cut contact 2) give YOURSELF space from this situation 3) THEN rationally assess whether there is anything left to do!

Maybe she was a bitch, yes, probably. Buuuuuuuuuuuut you're emotionally cheating on your gf!!!!! And you're very hostile when you don't get your way. So you know what, you're no angel either.

Why are you even with your gf?!?!!? You don't deserve her if all you care about is some other bitch. She needs to get some boundaries, as well, and leave you.

I don't mean to be rude--esp. because I know this is very painful--but you do need a reality check; under such duress, you cannot think clearly.

[Ugly_Swan]

Now, as to better address your concerns of accepting that it's over:

Realize that she wanted a more casual friendship the whole time--so it wasn't some amazing friendship that you lost--you only thought it was that valuable.

She friendzoned you, right? So if you secretly wanted a relationship with her, realize that it wouldn't work anyways--so knowing her was useless.

This can be a cataclysm for change and happiness--if you follow the steps of ..

1) cut contact 2) give YOURSELF space from this situation and keep busy with various activities and with your gf 3) THEN rationally assess whether there is anything left to do 4) reflect on what you did wrong that brought about this situation so you know how to act better in the future

...then you can become a better person and attract a much better relationship in the future.

Note that it's ok to realize that YOU did something wrong--don't beat yourself up for it. Everyone makes mistakes and grows up differently (i.e. with more or less emotional problems than average). All you can change is the future. Also, recognizing that you had a part in the situation actually gives you POWER because responsibility implies that YOUR actions had an effect -- i.e. you had some control over your life situation!! Which is a very hopeful attitude to take towards one's own errors IMO.

Understand that it WILL hurt for a while--if you can handle it, allow yourself to FEEL the pain--don't THINK about it or try to mentally rationalize it--but FEEL it so that it can come out/dissolve. By covering up emotions/grief with hostile thoughts and justifications, you're essentially using shit to cover up the pain that's trying to leave you. Just put aside justifications/rationalizations and let the pain be. Accept the reality of the situation.