Just got out a 3 year LDR bad break up

[Jterry]

This is kinda a long story. I met my ex gf on Facebook in 2010 and during the time my grandmother was passing away so it was a difficult time for me. She was the mutual friend of a girl that I had known since high school. At the time she was living in Southern California (San Diego Area) and I was living in the San Francisco Bay Area. She had a new baby son when we officially met in October 2010 but she moved up here because the baby father he was abusive. We did hang out as friends and I did start to like her and she did as well. December 2010 we became closer and started to become intimate with each other. Jan 2011 we confessed that we loved each other and we became a couple. I did become attached to her baby son and even cared for him as if he were mine. Summer of 2011 she leaves to go back down to Southern Ca and thats when the LDR started she started to act funny and by august of 2011 she broke up with me for unknown reasons. A few months later she wants to be friends for whatever but I declined and then she told me she was pregnant and didn't know if the child was mines or the dads. This hurt me to core. But I forgave her. We try becoming friends again and the old feelings start to arise again. and in March 2012 we became a couple again. Everything was going fine I even flew her out here for the summer of 2012 and we spent the whole month together it was really a good time. She goes back and everything was continuing as normal. Then on Christmas Eve I found out she cheated with me and it made me angry and hurt so I didn't talk to her and cut off all contact. Feb of 2013 she tried contacting me crying and saying she sorry and again I forgave her. We tried to become a couple again and it seem to be on the verge of being good this time. We talked of marriage and her plan was to move to norcal and we get a place together so she could go to nursing school. She gets a new job and and we don't talk as often as she is tried and dealing with two sons. Nov,10,2013 we talked and everything appeared great and then the following day she just out the blue wants to end the relationship saying she is tired of being in a LDR wants to maybe see new people and she wants me to see me now and she doesn't want to wait until next summer to be together even thought that's what she told me. It caught me off guard and I tried to see where she was coming from. But then I became mad and we started arguing with each other. I said some mean things as I was angry at her for this. Once the arguing was over with she tells me "I only said all that out of anger of being lonely" Then when I tired to understand what she saying she blocks me on FB and I tried calling her to apologize for what i said as I did feel bad. the next day she texts me "I'm going to ask u not to contact me no more I'm done I've blocked you on FB ,my phone and Instagram" I'm done I wish you well have a good one" that was like just that easy. I've been trying to overcome it and the bad part is I feel like its that easy to get over someone who was there for you over and over again I was with during some tough times and never walked away. We haven't spoken since although my mom and friends feels like she will contact me again once she calms down but I'm just like wow.

[PeterPeter]

I think she treats you like shit and does not appreciate enough you being around her. She cheated on you, you forgave her a couple of times. Sounds like you're a good guy and I find this situation somewhat similar to mine. A LDR will ask much from both parties and for a moment there it looked like it could work. But she cheating, then abruptly ending it? I don't think she can cope with a LDR. You might. But the way you tell your story made me clear you don't like it either, you just wanna be with her and accepted A LOT for it to happen.

Your mom is right. She must realize what she lost. If she wants to make amends be extremely careful as she tricked you before with this. But it's her turn. The moment you start begging for her to return it's over.

I know it can be extremely hard to let go, and I'm still struggling with this myself as well. Especially when so much effort is put in to make it work. From my point of view, if two people really love eachother... fights can get out of hand, a pause might occur, but everything will be allright in the end. Both parties should be willing to work towards that. Something tells me she isn't, just as my girlfriend isn't. We deserve better, we deserve someone that would fight to the death for us also. Not use us and get rid of us just like that or cheat because she feels lonely. If she could control those feelings she would have called you or skype or whatever... But she wouldn't cheat!

[Jterry]

I don't think she can cope with a LDR. You might. But the way you tell your story made me clear you don't like it either, you just wanna be with her and accepted A LOT for it to happen.

Your mom is right. She must realize what she lost. If she wants to make amends be extremely careful as she tricked you before with this. But it's her turn. The moment you start begging for her to return it's over.

Peter your on the money. I didn't really like idea of a LDR too but I made it work because I love her.

[4 ratties]

Sounds like this chick really took you for a ride. She's trashy and a cheater, get away from her

[Constantinesbr]

Man I had a LDR. Bottomline is that neither the girl, nor the man can know if they are faithful throughout it. Which defeats the purpose.Read my threads,Says it all.
The only person who can help in this situation is yourself. I thought I was the only one who ended like that. Truth is a woman can always find sex any day and they use it very well. Move on , it is the only choice, I know how u feel, I am in the same place. Do not expect appreciation of women or anything else, they can't understand it.
The moment a woman has the control on you, she can play you any day long.They always play with more men and have a back up waiting somewhere.

[Jterry]

At this point I just came to conclusion to not care anymore. She left a great man that gave nothing but unconditional love and care from the heart.

[basilandthyme]

a great man that gave nothing but unconditional love and care from the heart.

Sorry Jterry, but this was probably part of the problem. Unconditional love has no place in an adult relationship. You need to have boundaries and enforce them. Believe it or not, you'll get far more respect if instead of repeatedly forgiving someone who wrongs you, you tell them to go F themself.

When you venture out with your next love (and there will be one) don't tolerate shit. Don't repeatedly forgive. Give love and trust only if it's deserved.

[Jterry]

your right Basilandthyme