So so lost

[Chacha66]

Hi,
I am new to this but currently I am desperate for some help or someone to just understand or something? I am 26 and about 4 years ago I married my high school sweet heart. Just over a year ago, we separated and are now waiting for a divorce. He was my everything and we created a beautiful life together but it just was not meant to be. He was quite abusive and I was very trapped. My family really wanted me to get out, eventually I saw the light and left.

After a couple of months, I started seeing someone who I had been friends with for a long time. We had always held a torch for each other and we loved seeing each other. However, when my family and some mutual friends found out, they hit the roof. They thought he was a bad influence on me and it all turned crazy and we were forced to stop the relationship. The problem is, in this space of time I fell in love with him. He was my best friend and he still is - I just can't help how I feel. He feels the same but we know we can't be together. It is so hard and every day I pray to god that we can be together one day. I am laying here crying my eyes out writing this. We still talk nearly everyday.

Please, someone tell me, how do I get over this? I have tried dating other people, it just doesn't work. We can't be together but I feel so strongly. Please, give me some advice I would love to hear from anyone, even if it's harsh

Xx

[selfishguy]

Why does your family think your friend is a bad influence?

[Chacha66]

Why does your family think your friend is a bad influence?

They don't like him, just his past I suppose

[Peaches1605]

His past? Can you elaborate on this a little?

Anyway.. In my opinion, you are the one who will have to live with whatever decision you choose to make. Family is important but sometimes you need to follow your heart. If you guys are so close then I don't see why your family disapprove so much. If he'd killed someone or something then I'd kind of understand it, but people do change! I thinkt he choice is yours and if you want to be together then you should.

Good luck!

[i.miss.my.sweet]

I agree with Peaches1605 - I spent my 20's doing everything that I felt I was supposed to do and what everyone else thought I should do(got married, went to college, had babies, and got a job). Where did that get me? Divorced at 29 with 2 children and I was very very unhappy. I know it is hard, and family is very important, but my advice to you is think long and hard about it and even sit down and try to talk to your family. If all of that fails, and he is what truly makes you happy, then do it. Your family will eventually come around. There is nothing worse than looking back at your life and having regrets.

[Cerby]

They don't like him, just his past I suppose

Tough shit, you're 26 and you make your own decisions. As long as he isn't abusive like your ex-husband was, then your "family and friends" don't have a leg to stand on.

Grow up.

[michelle23]

Are you from a religious culture? Why at 26 are your family still running your life? Your a grown woman..

You stayed with an abusive man for 10 years. I dont blame your family for being concerned. You obviously dont have good judgement when it comes to men so maybe there right and maybe you should listen to them.

People tend to stick with what they know and they tend to jump from the frying pan into the fire. Are you sure you have not just fallen in love with someone like your ex or even worse than your ex?

My bfs mum kicked out his dad coz shed had enough of him being lazy, selfish and taking her for granted. Shes now with a man whos very similar to him in everyway except new guy cheats on her all the time which makes him even worse

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[TurnBackTime]

If you love this new man and he seems right for you despite his past, pursue it.

As others have said, you are 26 years old. Your other marriage was not good for you, if you can find something better in this new man nobody can stop you from following your heart. You are an adult now.