The looks scale, how do guys rate?

[searock]

As if women didn't have more "beauty" standards to fit into than men. *eyeroll*

It's pretty normal that guys don't see how the rate scale can be emotionally frustrating, since they are usually on the giving side rather than the receiving one. Men aren't as pressured as women are to "look good" (i.e. to fit into stringent "beauty" standards). This is NOT to say that they aren't supposed to fit into ANY "beauty" standards, just that the pressure for them to do so is incredibly lower than that on females. So even when they are on the receiving side, they can shrug it off or not care about it much more easily than a (generic) woman can. According to the media and society, man isn't defined by his looks, a woman is. So while it can suck as much as for a woman to be rejected romantically, you don't feel like you are useless to the world because you aren't up to "beauty" standards (most grown woman don't think so either, but just because they've had a lifetime to realize just how stupid that was - and they still have to fight with the media every day to remind themselves of it).

[somehelp4me]

Men are judged harshly by women too, not only looks, but what job we have and what car we drive or how e dress, it always goes both ways, the judging and the ratings.
Ugly Swan, see you added your image to your account, nice picture of you.
I tried 4 times to stick mine in the same spot and my file was too large each time, gave up and that picture thread is still locked.
So since you added yours since I mentioned you, joanna1 and starnique, I will show mine in here and then take it out next forum visit because there is no where else I can display it.
That thread for pictures shouldn't be locked. Here is a resized forum attempt version.

[HDBadger]

Men are judged harshly by women too, not only looks, but what job we have and what car we drive or how e dress, it always goes both ways, the judging and the ratings.
Ugly Swan, see you added your image to your account, nice picture of you.
I tried 4 times to stick mine in the same spot and my file was too large each time, gave up and that picture thread is still locked.
So since you added yours since I mentioned you, joanna1 and starnique, I will show mine in here and then take it out next forum visit because there is no where else I can display it.
That thread for pictures shouldn't be locked. Here is a resized forum attempt version.

+1

Anyone who cares that much about what "the media" or "society" thinks still has a lot of growing up to do and issues to work on.

"Society" says I'm supposed to be tall, handsome, affluent, outgoing, and in possession of a cool car and a great job.

Guess what? I have none of those things. And I'm still really happy. Because I like myself and have healthy self-esteem.

No one is going to join a pity party for women who feel badly that Victoria Secret models look better than them or because they can't look like the woman on the cover of Cosmo.

Life isn't fair. Some people are never going to be great looking. And there's not a damn thing wrong with that.

We are not all special, beautiful snowflakes.

[dickriculous]

"Society" says I'm supposed to be tall, handsome, affluent, outgoing, and in possession of a cool car and a great job.

And have your finances in order. And have a big cock. And be an animal in bed. And be strong, brave, intelligent, charismatic, rugged, independent, sensitive yet manly, chivalrous...the list goes on and on.

Not seeing what is so impossibly spectacular about a beauty standard that it single-handedly trivializes all of these things combined. My lack of a victim complex is not because I don't know what it's like to be judged by a society, it's because I know all to well.

[Kromat83]

I live in Oakville, like about 30-40 minutes away from Ugly Swan ... and think you should just hang out with friends more.
You only are as ugly as you think.
If you let others cloud your judgement, you'll never get over it.
We like to be around positive people and it's easier to know someone,
If that is the case.
If you feel you aren't getting noticed, just start conversations with
randoms, it'll give you practice in all aspects of your life.

Visit www.meetup.com, and do various different things.
That site has helped me tremendously, and I have actually started my group and having a meetup this weekend and part of various others as assistant organizer or Event Organizer.
We would actually be able to meet in person, and you
could have fun doing an activity because I am planning
to visit a Trampoline Park (Skyzone), then going to try indoor Rock Climbing.
Here's my group if your curious :
http://www.meetup.com/activecurioussingles/

[Ugly_Swan]

As if women didn't have more "beauty" standards to fit into than men. *eyeroll*

It's pretty normal that guys don't see how the rate scale can be emotionally frustrating, since they are usually on the giving side rather than the receiving one. Men aren't as pressured as women are to "look good" (i.e. to fit into stringent "beauty" standards). This is NOT to say that they aren't supposed to fit into ANY "beauty" standards, just that the pressure for them to do so is incredibly lower than that on females. So even when they are on the receiving side, they can shrug it off or not care about it much more easily than a (generic) woman can. According to the media and society, man isn't defined by his looks, a woman is. So while it can suck as much as for a woman to be rejected romantically, you don't feel like you are useless to the world because you aren't up to "beauty" standards (most grown woman don't think so either, but just because they've had a lifetime to realize just how stupid that was - and they still have to fight with the media every day to remind themselves of it).

Ummm.... I doubt that's media's fault. That's BIOLOGY's fault IMO...

Also, consider that humans created the media, which must somehow reflect what was already going on inside of them.

But, yes, I second the sentiment that women are under more pressure. Men has unrealistic standards to fit into, as well. However, a man's worth depends on much more than just youth and beauty. Whereas youth and beauty are crucial for a woman to become important to any one man.

[Ugly_Swan]

Men are judged harshly by women too, not only looks, but what job we have and what car we drive or how e dress, it always goes both ways, the judging and the ratings.
Ugly Swan, see you added your image to your account, nice picture of you.
I tried 4 times to stick mine in the same spot and my file was too large each time, gave up and that picture thread is still locked.
So since you added yours since I mentioned you, joanna1 and starnique, I will show mine in here and then take it out next forum visit because there is no where else I can display it.
That thread for pictures shouldn't be locked. Here is a resized forum attempt version.

Thanks.
lol yeah, well I had to first resize it in paint program (only takes a few sec), THEN uploaded as avatar.

[Ugly_Swan]

And have your finances in order. And have a big cock. And be an animal in bed. And be strong, brave, intelligent, charismatic, rugged, independent, sensitive yet manly, chivalrous...the list goes on and on.

Not seeing what is so impossibly spectacular about a beauty standard that it single-handedly trivializes all of these things combined. My lack of a victim complex is not because I don't know what it's like to be judged by a society, it's because I know all to well.

I think where the disconnect /arguing comes from is this:

While men have a lot more to live up to, they can compensate for weaknesses with other areas. (ex. if you're not rich, you can be a badboy; if you're not hot you can be powerful, etc.) For women, on the other hand, beauty is a PREREQUISITE to even being noticed.

[Ugly_Swan]

I live in Oakville, like about 30-40 minutes away from Ugly Swan ... and think you should just hang out with friends more.
You only are as ugly as you think.
If you let others cloud your judgement, you'll never get over it.
We like to be around positive people and it's easier to know someone,
If that is the case.
If you feel you aren't getting noticed, just start conversations with
randoms, it'll give you practice in all aspects of your life.

Visit www.meetup.com, and do various different things.
That site has helped me tremendously, and I have actually started my group and having a meetup this weekend and part of various others as assistant organizer or Event Organizer.
We would actually be able to meet in person, and you
could have fun doing an activity because I am planning
to visit a Trampoline Park (Skyzone), then going to try indoor Rock Climbing.
Here's my group if your curious :
http://www.meetup.com/activecurioussingles/

Hahaha thanks!

I think you misunderstood me slightly, though. In this thread we are discussing looks and the opposite sex--so of course that's where my focus is. But I don't tend to go out to crazy parties or clubs or something waiting to be noticed? I only go out to do stuff with friends.

It's frustrating that people keep inferring that someone is this or that just because of how they respond to a certain topic....obviously if a topic is depressing or negative the discussions may have a negative tone!

Also--I already go to meetup.com =) lol part of many groups. I'll check your out, too.

[michelle23]

Ooh this could be the beginning of a love story

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[Ugly_Swan]

Ooh this could be the beginning of a love story

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

what can be?

[searock]

Men are judged harshly by women too, not only looks, but what job we have and what car we drive or how e dress

This is why I specifically said "looks". We are talking about looks here. Of course men get judged for other things, and it's bad and it should be fought against: gender stereotypes hurt everyone. However, gender stereotypes in general are not topic of this discussion, here we are talking about looks and specifically on guys rating women based on their looks alone.

[searock]

I think where the disconnect /arguing comes from is this:

While men have a lot more to live up to, they can compensate for weaknesses with other areas. (ex. if you're not rich, you can be a badboy; if you're not hot you can be powerful, etc.) For women, on the other hand, beauty is a PREREQUISITE to even being noticed.

Yep. A guy can be many things... a girl is, primarily, her looks. The mere fact that men have a lot more to live up to is due to the fact that women aren't expected to be able to be anything more than a pretty thing to look at / provide sexual pleasure. Of course this is an over-semplification, but this is in essence what the media and society tell us since the day we are born.

[searock]

"Society" says I'm supposed to be tall, handsome, affluent, outgoing, and in possession of a cool car and a great job.

See, those are (almost) all things that you can actually achieve. Looks, on the other hand, can be slightly bettered at best, but you are born with them and there's nothing you can do about it (just like height for guys). Another huge difference is that guys are "supposed to" be some of many things. A woman is only defined by her looks, everything else is irrelevant (this has roots in the belief that women can't achieve anything more than "look pretty").

Just look at the videos "ask girls to rate themselves" and "ask guys to rate themselves": the answers people give are very illustrative. Girls don't even give it a second thought: they immediately answer based on their looks. Guys on the other hand rate themselves taking into account their personality, their achievements, their being "nice guys". A woman's value is based on her looks, that's all.

No one is going to join a pity party for women who feel badly that Victoria Secret models look better than them or because they can't look like the woman on the cover of Cosmo.

You are missing the point. Women are not upset because models "look better than them" (beauty is in the eye of the beholder btw). We are upset because society tells us that our worth is based solely on our looks.

[searock]

And have your finances in order. And have a big cock. And be an animal in bed. And be strong, brave, intelligent, charismatic, rugged, independent, sensitive yet manly, chivalrous...the list goes on and on.

See, this is the problem right here. Finances and being good in bed are both things you can work on. Men are judged based on their ability to achieve certain goals and on their human qualities: intelligence, charisma, independence, sensitiveness, braveness. These are all admirable traits that should be desirable in a female human as much as a male human. Instead, women get valued based solely on their looks - as if all their other qualities didn't even count, or they couldn't even reach them. Women are seen as objects rather than as actual human beings.