OMG guys, I just had an epiphany on love while replying to posts!

[RobertWQ]

Swan is just more sensitive than many of you. Probably because she's smarter than many of you. Smarter people tend to be more sensitive. Swan I'm not sure how old you are, but maybe you're around the wrong people too.

[Wakeup]

Swan is just more sensitive than many of you. Probably because she's smarter than many of you. Smarter people tend to be more sensitive. Swan I'm not sure how old you are, but maybe you're around the wrong people too.

bahahahhhahahhahha!. Sorry, couldn't help myself. She's can get past her sensitivity by not continuing in her current MO in dating. It's that simple. This is about being logical rather then general intelligence and where do you get from her posts thats she's more sensitive? What she's on about does not = sensitivity.

[RobertWQ]

^^^ that's rude and off topic. He actually has a point. OP is wanting to contemplate her need to be in a relationship while being, at the same time, afraid of one... That's become clear in this particular thread (at least to me). She has inside issues that are hindering her romantic and personal life. She comes up with something that she believes that is counter-productive to her getting to the stage where she can successfully manuever through a reciprocal and loving relationship by tainting the idea of love itself. That is ugly.

It's not. It's rude to tell someone on the internet that she's "so ugly on the inside." What's wrong with you people? You're just picking on her and you don't understand her either. It's not ugly to be sensitive and pensive. I've seen far uglier behavior on this thread than anything she had to say.

[RobertWQ]

bahahahhhahahhahha!. Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Laugh all you want, if you understood intellectual giftedness you'd recognize better what is going on here.

[pcmaster]

Thank you. Im a dick and proud with it !

[Wakeup]

Laugh all you want, if you understood intellectual giftedness you'd recognize better what is going on here.

Thank you, I shall.

This girl does not understand "reciprocal" love. Plain and simple. You can go on being Sheldon with your Big Bang theory all you want. just like I can laugh all I want.

[basilandthyme]

My only thought is that I pity you.

[RobertWQ]

bahahahhhahahhahha!. Sorry, couldn't help myself. She's can get past her sensitivity by not continuing in her current MO in dating. It's that simple. This is about being logical rather then general intelligence and where do you get from her posts thats she's more sensitive? What she's on about does not = sensitivity.

Yeah it does. She's hyper-sensitive about her looks, and probably hyper-sensitive about the emotions she experiences in love and loss. And she's capable of analyzing it logically and recognizing the outcome of most relationships. Those are all signs of giftedness / intelligence. Her behavior is not unusual for gifted people.

[Wakeup]

Then I echo BasilandTyme. I pity her (and you if you are thusly gifted) Key word in your post is "Hyper" that's not a good thing to be that way.

[RobertWQ]

I'm not sure what your pity is supposed to give but for me you may save it. Hyper in this instance just means "above average" ... she's not going to be able to limit her sensitivity / analytical tendencies, but she can probably channel it in more positive ways ... and hopefully she will find people more like her where it won't be as much a problem.

[Wakeup]

Yes, hopefully. Also, hopefully with the very insightful posters here on this forum, she will learn not to be so hyper about things and change her views and own personal insights that do nothing to get her past the things that are not working out for her.

[basilandthyme]

I'm not sure what your pity is supposed to give

If the OP was open to the thoughts of others, I'd save my pity and give constructive thoughts and try to help. But she's only interested in arguing why she's right....so I'll save my thoughts and give pity instead.

[oxytocinbite]

if something will eventually end and you don't know when = not secure/permanent/fickle

You don't know if it will end, I go into my relationships feeling secure, you can't read the future. People have been married for years and stay together for ever.

[Ugly_Swan]

If the OP was open to the thoughts of others, I'd save my pity and give constructive thoughts and try to help. But she's only interested in arguing why she's right....so I'll save my thoughts and give pity instead.

Actually, if you look carefully-- I clearly said to please debate/discuss the topic. And instead of reasonable philosophical or likewise answers, I started to again get attacked. My opinion is supposed to change by being called ugly and negative? Your pity doesn't help me and I don't need it.

A lot of the posts just said I'm wrong. But I want reasons as to why. And I have reasons for my point of view, too. And I was trying to explain part of them clearly by clearing up what I meant. Yet it's taken as me trying to be right.

[Ugly_Swan]

You don't know if it will end, I go into my relationships feeling secure, you can't read the future. People have been married for years and stay together for ever.

Yes, but those instances happen because those people managed to satisfy each other's selfish needs--not because the love was permanent or real--permanence is an illusion. I don't feel secure because people change and I cannot predict how my partner will change-whether more in line with what I can give them--or farther away from something that is compatible.

So for me the challenge is to become ok with loss and to stop getting attached, I can't take it anymore. It's emotionally draining and it's killing my will to go on. If I somehow manage to stop being afraid of the fact that we are all alone, I'll be able to detach. Even writing this, I can't really accept it yet =(

And my whole point with this thread's original post is this:

Maybe the reason I (and many others) get attached and obsessed over relationships is because we look to them to save us from the existential reality and hope they will provide us with a fairy tale. By projecting our hopes we start to believe the relationship is really that amazing -- and so everything else fails in comparison to it because it (falsely and temporarily) fills the big void/the only true self-created need.

But if I somehow manage to accept that no relationship will ever make me feel safe in the world and that I'll always be alone, then I won't have a reason to get attached and so will not be all ga-ga over every guy that I really like. =/ =(