advice....possible love interest

[overanxious]

so ive been hanging out alot with this girl the last few weeks...we initially met/started hanging out through a mutual guy friend....weve been going out to eat...hanging out at bars...i took her to a football game(her first pro football game...she was pretty excited)....for me there is an attraction there for me....we used to hang out only in a group setting...but in the last 3 weeks weve been hanging out together alone alot....and even one time when my friend joined me before she got there she said "oh i didnt know he was going to be here"....

now before i go further....there is another guy we also hang with in a group setting...hes a friend...but more of a friend of my other male friend....hes a good guy....he has a gf....from which i hear it is a rocky relationship.....sometimes i get the feeling he likes trying to get attention from this girl....like he ask her to split some food with him or whatever and she will(not a crime theyve known each other much longer than ive known either of them)....and when she got a divorced he let her store stuff at his house....theyve been friends for a long time...sometimes i wonder if she doesnt wish they were more than friends....and i think he likes the idea of her kind of being around or there ....he even texted her one time when he knew we were out together alone...not about anything serious or anything but still

so anyways....weve been hanging out....keep it non physical...casual.....well i started to wonder if she was interested....and thought about how to approach asking.....i sort of let it go...kind of hoping maybe shed be the one to say it to me or ask me....and then it happened....one night after we hung out she texted me "so i dont wanna sound awkward or anything...but i kind of wanted to know if you were interested in me...i like hanging out with you alot i have so much fun....i love your sense of humor...and i can tell that underneath your sarcasm and asshole nature that you are really a good guy".....

i told her that i did like her and i am interested....but i also said im dealing with alot of things right now which she is aware of...coming off a bad relationship and struggling with finances(which is new to me).....she doesnt seem to care about those things.....which is good....although i have to admit that im a bit insecure about it....cause im not in a position right now to live the lifestyle that i used to...to do alot of really fun extravagant things....picking up the bill at nice restaurants all the time...like i used to....at the same time i realize that isnt always neccessary and sometimes less is more....there are more simple things i can do or try too....a lesson i should have learned harshly from my last relationship.....i think there should be a balance between simple and really nice.....

anyways....i dont know what i should do right now in regards to this situation....i even explained i thing i need more time to work on myself and better myself....and she said "i know...but i think you need more"(not in regards to time...in regards to needing someone).....kind of a tough spot..i dont feel great about myself right now...at the same time im afraid that if i wait...too long...or whatever....that shell lose interest and doesnt deserve to wait for me....and i might be missing out on something really good

[smackie9]

Sounds to me she is willing to take the risk despite your uncertain finacial/mental situation. IMO you two are already dating there just isn't a title on it. Now that you both have established that you like each other, I don't think there is anything wrong with just taking things slow and holding off on sleeping with each other. I think you will find you will be in a better situation than your last relationship because of her unconditional point of view. Plus fancy dinners etc should come much later in a relationship anyways. She is quite happy with simple and casual, I think it's you that can't fathom such a lady even exists.

[michelle23]

As long as you dont still have feelings for your ex-i say go for it.

I know its important to most men to have their life/career/finances sorted but you can do all of that whilst also having someone by your side. People have successful relationships with little or no money all the time.

Me and my bf have been working towards our goals together and just getting by or struggling sometimes hasnt put any issues between us. I know it can and does take a tole on many relationships but if your a good team youll work through whatever obstacles come your way.

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