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Thread: Don't know what to do. Need advice.

  1. #1
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    Don't know what to do. Need advice.

    So my now ex girlfriend just recently broke up with me because we had a long distance relationship. However, when we saw each other she was always so happy and we've fought 3 times in the 11 months that we were together. There was nothing wrong with our relationship and she broke up because she lost all of her feelings for me. However, a couple days after she broke up with me she was already "seeing" another guy that's been tutoring her in chemistry for a couple of weeks. I feel like she dumped me for him and I feel like she already had feelings for him before we even broke up so I feel emotionally cheated on. I really love her and she means the world to me.. I know if I saw her the emotions would come back to her but she's got extremely mad at me when I accused her of emotionally cheating on me. Many of her close friends and all of my friends are extremely confused because this isn't like her. I want her back but she's extremely against it and I don't know what to do :/ Do I wait it out and hope she realizes that she made a mistake? We were perfect for each other and we were rarely ever mad/sad with each other.

    Thanks in advance.

  2. #2
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    Relationships will come and go in your life, this one ended and so will the next and so on. She likes someone else better, that is the reality of it and there is nothing more you can do about it except let her go. Heartache sucks, especially when you are the dumpee....sadly it's just a fact of life. A relationship doesn't have to end because of problems, people can naturally fall out of love or have feelings for someone else. Long distance is not the way to go with having a relationship....they usually find someone who is more available. When she met this dude it probably made her realize how lonely she gets when you two are apart, so with him there with her all the time sharing life together it's a no brainer who she is going to go with.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Darkshire View Post
    When she met this dude it probably made her realize how lonely she gets when you two are apart, so with him there with her all the time sharing life together it's a no brainer who she is going to go with.
    ^^ this.

    tat1whiteguy, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Unfortunately, long distance relationships are incredibly hard to sustain because people don't get to spend enough time together to meet their needs. Even if you could manage to persuade her to come back, the long distance would still be creating the issues which took her away in the first place.

    It's time to let her go. Take some time for yourself and heal...and then find yourself a local girl
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  4. #4
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    She was emotionally cheating. It always happens with long distance. Im not saying that makes it okay but long distance is undustainable. Very little intimacy or affection, not enough quality time, not enough fun (days/nights out).

    Sitting by a computer skying someone everyday is not a relationship. Its like dating a robot.. its only a matter of time before one of your attention shifts to someone else-a real life person close by who you can do all the normal relationship stuff with all the time.

    Im sorry this happened but you should learn from this and dont do long distance again

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    As the others said, LDRs are tough and rarely maintained over the long term. The best bet for you is to stop contacting her, but not for the reason of getting her back, but for the reason of getting over her.

    You will find someone else, everyone has their heart broken, but the first time is always the worst.
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

  6. #6
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    Ya i agree with cerby. Your stronger then you think and heartbreak is a part of life. We mourn each loss and then we move on.. pain is only temporary. Id rather go through that pain alone and heal then stay in an unhealthy relationship. Once you understand that you can get through it-its a lot easier

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk
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  7. #7
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    Personally, if I were you, I wouldn't wait around. I would focus on myself and try to move on. This way, if she is serious about staying with this guy, you won't be hurt by waiting around for nothing. And if she isn't serious and comes back to you, it'll just make you feel like an option. Move on with your life... I know it hurts, but you need to to spare yourself self-torture. I've done that to myself a few times, and it's not pretty. It can really screw you up. :S

    But I'm glad you're not choosing to go between them... That shows you really do love her because you're respecting her happiness.

    In short, don't wait and don't come between them. If she comes back on her own accord, then possibly you two can work things out together. But in the meantime, you need to focus on yourself and healing your wounds. Make yourself happy again, and one day you'll find the love of your life, regardless of whether or not it is the girl you're speaking of.

    Hope this helps. :S

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rowen View Post
    Personally, if I were you, I wouldn't wait around. I would focus on myself and try to move on. This way, if she is serious about staying with this guy, you won't be hurt by waiting around for nothing. And if she isn't serious and comes back to you, it'll just make you feel like an option. Move on with your life... I know it hurts, but you need to to spare yourself self-torture. I've done that to myself a few times, and it's not pretty. It can really screw you up. :S

    But I'm glad you're not choosing to go between them... That shows you really do love her because you're respecting her happiness.

    In short, don't wait and don't come between them. If she comes back on her own accord, then possibly you two can work things out together. But in the meantime, you need to focus on yourself and healing your wounds. Make yourself happy again, and one day you'll find the love of your life, regardless of whether or not it is the girl you're speaking of.

    Hope this helps. :S
    I agree with you

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