Any help/advice for accepting and moving on after a long relationship?

[JGolds29]

Hello everyone. Thank you in advance for any help or advice that you give, and know that it will be greatly appreciated. About three months ago my relationship of three and a half years ended suddenly. My ex-girlfriend and I had been high school sweethearts and best friends, and we attended colleges right next to each other. We had a relationship that was full of love and great times but also some differences and disagreements. These differences and such, along with ultimately feeling too comfortable with each other and taking each other for granted, resulted in a break-up that lasted for about five months around the three year mark of our relationship. After those five months, my ex realized that she wanted us to get back together and I took her back right away. After our break up and reconciliation, everything between us was fantastic and we were actually serious about becoming engaged and then married in the near future. I felt that I had found my soulmate and the one person I was meant to be with and I was ready to spend my entire life with her. However, pretty much out of the blue, my ex decided to break up with me, citing our petty arguments and differences as the reason for the break up. I was completely shocked by this, and I felt I had lost my one true love. But, after contemplating our relationship and looking back on everything, I now realize that we truly aren't meant to be together, and our differences were not so petty and insignificant in terms of the big picture and marriage. I am glad that we broke up at this point and not when we were engaged or even married. I am looking forward to meeting my soulmate, and I am confident that in the future I will find her. However, at the moment, I still struggle with my break-up. I can go long periods of time without talking to her and be perfectly fine, but in the past three months since we have been broken up, I have found myself during certain times missing her desperately to the point where I break down and cry. During these times, which generally last a few days, I still feel a bit shocked that we are no longer together and I just miss having her in my life. I understand now that we aren't meant to be together and it is like my head and brain are telling me that this is for the best, but my heart continues to have feelings for her. I will always love her and care about her regardless of what happens, but I want to get to the point where I can think back to our time together with fondness but not break down with sadness because we are no longer together. Is there anything I can do to fully accept our break-up and move on for good?

[Tone]

I sympathize with you, and would encourage you to search around this forum a bit as a lot of people are going through similair things that would do you good to read their experiences, and some methods they use.

The most recent would be :

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/t8419-how-do-i-deal.html[/url]

^-- there

[Borealis]

JGolds,

Welcome to Loveforum.

You are reminiscent of the love that one was; entailed inside were great memories speant together.

What worries you most is that no love will ever equal to that of what you had in your previous relationship.

Think of your life as it once was without her. Don't try to think of the love that once was as it'll always bring you heartache, making you think this is your one and only and you've lost your chance. Go on living independently like that and you'll move on, because in the end you're better off without her.

[n a m]

Time is the ultimate healer...
But ya... mentally you gotta focus off the past. Get busy. I, myself having been out of a very long 7 years /w a similar situation being high school sweethearts too, life seem quite dreamy for awhile there. I believe things happened for a reason. So fate can bring you together and thus can take you apart. Take the opportunity to do stuff you wouldn't been able to do now. Learn more about yourself. Exercise... take up some hobbies. As long as your out there you can then make more opportunities.

[MrDrum]

The most serious relationship I have ever had was with a girl that lasted over 5 years. We lived together for a year and half towards the end. I loved this girl more than life itself.. we talked about getting married, and were even planning a general idea of "when"... Secretly, I bought her an engagement ring and had planned to ask the following firday. That particular week was really busy, so I didnt see her much.

Anyway, that friday she came over. She came in and sat down... I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. The second I did, she burst into tears.. and told me that she wanted to leave me. It was the single most difficult thing I have ever experienced.

It took me more than 2 years to get over it.

[Borealis]

MrDrum,

What more can I say? The things you are oblivious to..

As for you JGolds, just build confidence in yourself. There is a girl out there waiting for you to make her your world. Of course you will do that, but this time be civilized to understand the independent entities that exists between the both of you, along with the cohesive entities that exists between the both of you. In that, you'll have order and balance and won't have to wonder if you can survive after the breakup.

Regardless though, follow what's in your heart no matter what I or any other person opinion is. If it's going to take time, then take the time. If it's neccessary to move on then forget about her, and concentrate on yourself.