Need advice on short term relationship

[spiritofjosh]

Even if she hadn't texted you, that wouldn't have meant she was treating you like you were worthless, it would have meant that she was going no contact and moving on, which is a healthy thing if she decided she doesn't want to get back with you.

Because she didn't have an issue contacting me prior to that, a couple days ago. And whether you want to move on, don't want to be with somebody, it's still polite to say thank you when you receive a gift. I didn't mean she was treating me like I was worthless by not texting me in general.

And for the above post, I feel like if I personally deliver her flowers that looks too like "I'm trying to win you over," rather than me just sending them as a kind gesture. I have no hope in flowers rekindling what we had.

[searock]

Then don't send her flowers at all. If she has taken the decision to move on, you are only making it worse for her if you continue contacting her in any way.

[toknow]

She should get over it already. You apologized, learned your lesson. Time to make up.

[pcmaster]

Man if you are not 100% sure you could be together then better leave her alone. I asumed you will feel a bit better and positive and actually make efford to get her back. But being pussy is not gona do any good. You both could be in much better place now by having a clean break from begining. Any contact will just prolong the pain and memories.

You been together just a few months and its not worth it to suffer for months aswell. If you feel it would be akward to meet her, look in her eyes then best thing is to move on. Take the "How to deal with breakup" guide and follow it. Also you could be able move on imediatly by fcking a random girl. Not sure if it would be so effective now but the idea is breaking sexual tension so you dont feel so attracted to her, deep inside realising that theres other girls who are able to release tension and make you feel good.

[violet11]

Josh, I think you have to remember that when you're in love with someone and dying to be with them, an hour feels like an eternity. This has all just been over a few days, right?

I know most people here are black and white about things, but honestly, it's not illogical that she would text you and now not reply. She probably couldnt restrain herself that night, and you interpreted it as an open door for communication, but she still needs time. She's obviously crazy about you (the crying), and she doesnt think you're worthless (the way she treated you when you were together). You've made your feelings clear now, just give her a few days and see what happens. I know it's hard, but one thing I've learned is that sometimes situations are open and close... and sometimes they are not. Sometimes love needs time.

I hope writing about it here is helping because I really feel your pain and I know what it's like. Youre not alone.

[violet11]

Also, how you act now will impact on her overall impression of you. If you get huffy with her for not answering messages quickly enough, it will just reinforce the idea that you are possessive (sorry to be blunt), and she won't want to get back with you. Be sweet, give her a wide berth. Give it two weeks - one month max, and if nothing gets rectified by then, move on.

What happened with her last boyfriend btw? He treated her badly, right? In what way?

[spiritofjosh]

pcmaster's responses are actually annoying me, they're basically typical man-ego by giving advice as to go f*** other girls as a way to solve a problem. and calling me a pussy is also pigheaded. I don't expect sugar coated answers and I don't mind blunt answers, but your responses are ignorant.

And after she got the flowers if she texted me saying thank you I planned on not saying anything, no conversation not even a "you're welcome." the gesture itself was enough to say sorry she had a rough couple weeks (us breaking up, her new job not working out, being sick for a full week). Like I said, I didn't think flowers would make her fall for me again, I wasn't lying about that.

And her ex boyfriend cheated on her a few months back and they were separated but it remained "Facebook offical" because they never actually went through with a real breakup.

[pcmaster]

Ha ha ha, its funny that my responses is annoying you cause what you see there is true. It seems like after all this pain you are afraid to be a man again. Giving flowers to girl without even meeting her without wanting to recieve anything back is not a manly thing(would be waste of money after all this shit to give flowers so indirectly). To make her feel better? Real BS it would make her feel only worse in longterm. Good that she didnt recieve them. Just gave you example.

No not saying that you are bad. But just stupid because of all these mixed emotions. Complexes you had in previous relationships folowed you in this relationship too. It relfected and you suffered and pulled down girl together with you. Something to learn from.

[violet11]

And after she got the flowers if she texted me saying thank you I planned on not saying anything, no conversation not even a "you're welcome." the gesture itself was enough to say sorry she had a rough couple weeks (us breaking up, her new job not working out, being sick for a full week). Like I said, I didn't think flowers would make her fall for me again, I wasn't lying about that.

If she texts, there's nothing wrong with a simple "you're welcome (smiley face)". You don't need to ask her any questions or take it as an opportunity for dialogue. Be consistent in your behaviour. Keep being sweet.

[michelle23]

I doubt f**king someone else helps at all. Just makes you feel worse.. but what do i no since ive never actually done that im surprised at you pcm. What happened to our sentimental boy?

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[pcmaster]

Oh Michelle thought you knew this. I did from begining. It helps to move on. Like rebound. Just one "One night stand" actualy heals the pain. But more than that leads to weakness and addiction.

Ask prostitutes they know this.

Thank you for calling me sentimental, Sweet Michelle. But there is dark side too. I dont hold all my pleasure and pain inside.

[spiritofjosh]

I just don't think sending her flowers would be upsetting anybody honestly, like I said I didn't send them to spark conversation. it would just annoy me not getting at thank you bc I was raised to be polite and thank somebody upon receiving a gift from them, I just saw it as her being rude when there was no need to be.

But I've been with plenty of girls after breakups and I know none of it ever helped me, it usually ends up worse bc I'm still upset about an ex and then have some girl I basically used bothering me at the same time. no offense to women of course, I just see it as using.

but I giving her flowers directly would be more "manly" but if I did that I strongly feel like she would take that as me being right in her face expecting her to see things my way. leaving them for her to receive to me seems more a "here's something to cheer you up but I'm not gonna be here" type of thing.

I hope I didnt sound rude pcmaster, I just hate the whole "go f*** other bitches bro" type of mentality bc it really never fixed anything and if it does it's very temporary, personally.

[spiritofjosh]

and maybe doing so with the flowers would end up upsetting her but it doesn't seem like she's really the upset one in this situation.

[michelle23]

Oh Michelle thought you knew this. I did from begining. It helps to move on. Like rebound. Just one "One night stand" actualy heals the pain. But more than that leads to weakness and addiction.

Ask prostitutes they know this.

Thank you for calling me sentimental, Sweet Michelle. But there is dark side too. I dont hold all my pleasure and pain inside.

That wouldnt work for me. Had one rebound in my life and it taught me never to that again. Hurting someone else to ease your own pain is immoral IMO and weak. I prefer to be strong and deal with my own emotional baggage alone. Pajn is only temporary and i can handle it without dragging someone else along for the ride

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[pcmaster]

You have strong morals Michelle.

What I mean is one nite stand not actually starting a realtionship with someone or letting person fell in love. Being honest about intentions without promising anything.


There was one great movie where girl cheated on teenage boy and husband cheated on wife. Same night boy went to beach crying and so did the cheated on woman, They accidently met and saw eachothers pain, and without words kissed, stoped cry and slept together. In the moorning they both went seperate ways and never met again. In this way they broke sexual tension between their exes and it was easier to feel less love(actually pain) for cheaters.