After waiting for so long, I ditched her

[TheStubbornOne]

Hey guys, first time posting here...

I'm not very experienced when it comes to dating and meeting girls. I was at this party where I met this girl, and it was evident she was really shy from the beginning, but very cute. So i talked to her, asked her to dance, and in the end asked her out for coffee. All went well, we met a few times got to know each other a little better and I can sort of tell she likes me. Last time we met, she said she was going to be busy for the next couple days and so we planned to meet a few days after. I hate conversing over text, and really just use it as an information tool. If there's something i want to say to you i usually just save it til we meet face to face. So when we're not out together theres barely any contact between us other then the how was your day, or how have you been, just the general questions.

So on the day I asked her what time she wanted to go out and she said 8 and we were planning to be out the entire night. Around 7.45 she texts saying that shes going to be busy til 8.30 or so, and I shrugged it off and said ok (i was already on the way.) So 8.30 comes along and i text, no answer. I cant stand when people do this, at least have the courtesy to say sorry. I got fed up of waiting and so after that, i said to myself that this isn't worth it and just ditched her, only to hear from her 30 minutes later saying shes "almost ready" to where I flat out told her that i already left, she was surprised and asked if i was serious and i said yes.

It's now been 3 days since and I haven't heard anything from her, and I don't really want to end whatever it we have because I liked spending time with her and i'm sure she did as well, and i still would like to get to know her a little better.

I don't feel like i should be apologizing for it either because I was basically driving around like an idiot with nothing to do for almost an hour, and if anything i'm waiting for an apology from her and it seems like i'll never get it from her.

Am i in the wrong here? How should I proceed because i don't want things to end on such a note, if at all.

[smackie9]

So she was in the shower and didn't jump out to check her messages....you could have left a voice message saying since she was running late you went ahead and grabbed a table and to meet you there. BUT instead you got owly and went home. You were both inconsiderate, but you more so. You acted childishly.

Maybe you should do an attitude check next time and remember that it's not wise to act out to teach someone a lesson...most people usually redeem themselves (and I'm sure she would have) with an apology and an explanation.

[michelle23]

Ya you messed up here. Your dating now (or at least were 3 days ago) so it should be more laid back. Not ill pick you up at 8-be ready like the first couple of dates. More like-im with the girls having coffee, got carried away talking, ill text you when im ready...

Of course it would be unacceptable if she put everything before you a lot but deciding to have an extra cup of tea first with a friend or being delayed at work is really no big deal.

You shouldnt have stormed off home. That was childish. If it was the first date id understand but my bf spends half his time waiting for me and hes used to it

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[TheStubbornOne]

Our plans were to meet up with my friends, whom were expecting me and she knew this, but its not like I had to be there right then and there.

I agree that I acted childish, I just don't like it when I'm left in the dark and at the time it was just easier for me to just leave and meet up with my friends then to be aimlessly driving around waiting wasting time.

Anyways, I sent a 'how are you' message to kind of test the waters and it just got ignored. I guess an apology is in order. Thanks for the help.

[michelle23]

Good luck

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[surfhb2]

So she agreed to meet at 830 and you waited for how long? 9 comes around and she says she's almost ready? If so you did the right thing. That's unacceptable

[TheStubbornOne]

So she agreed to meet at 830 and you waited for how long? 9 comes around and she says she's almost ready? If so you did the right thing. That's unacceptable

Originally planned on 8, when I said that i was on the way (7.45~7.50) she said she needs til 8.30. Messaged her at 8.30, got a response of 'almost' by 9. By then I just said "Lol, I left. Sorry" pretty assholish of me i'll have to admit and I do feel like I should apologize, just giving it some extra time and thought.

[searock]

It just seems like you didn't really care about meeting her all that much, if you just left like that (and that text message you sent her later just confirmed the fact that you didn't really care).

You should have kept your calm and waited for her, then listened to her apology. It was the first time she did this after all so you should have given her the benefit of the doubt, IF you had cared.

[basilandthyme]

I'm with the boys on this one. Leaving you driving around for an hour, waiting for her, is completely unacceptable. And I don't know if I should share this secret, but if a girl needs to make up time, it is entirely possible to shower, dress and do her face/hair in 15mins flat. Yes, it's true that she may not look as 'finished' as she'd like, but hey, that's life.

People who are continually late are selfish. They think that other people's time is not as important as their own. This girl of your just had a lesson that the world does not revolve around her...and she doesn't like the lesson.

I don't think you're an asshole.

[violet11]

I'm offering the middle opinion here. I think she was being rude, but instead of leaving in a huff, you could have expressed it to her. Like saying: "Seriously? You're not leaving yet. That's pretty late." This invites an apology from her (warranted).

Leave it a few days and then call her if you like. No more texting - be direct.

I agree you're not an asshole. Just impulsive!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Like saying: "Seriously? You're not leaving yet. That's pretty late." This invites an apology from her (warranted).

That's how a pussy would handle it.

[searock]

People who are continually late are selfish. They think that other people's time is not as important as their own. This girl of your just had a lesson that the world does not revolve around her...and she doesn't like the lesson.

I don't think you're an asshole.

I also don't think he's an asshole, I just think he acted childishly. And she was only late this one time... he could have at least given her the benefit of the doubt, without storming off like that - without even warning her! Her being late wasn't deliberate (and it also might have been due to any kind of legitimate reason), his storming off was.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Nothing to do with being tough. I just say the word a lot, so your fingers are going to cramp unless you stretch them well..if you plan to combat my 'sexism' at every turn.

[searock]

Using terms that mean female genitalia/female as insults is definitely sexist, no need for those quotation marks.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Agree to disagree.