worried about family member

[DalM0m]

My cousin has issues. I won't get into all of them but she has tried to kill herself in the past. She is seeing a therapist & is on meds. I try not to worry too much but it's hard.

I saw her over Thanksgiving & was shocked. Her house is a mess. I recognize that as an outward sign of depression. More importantly, her pets were filthy & the house smelled from their waste. Even at her worst, in the past she always took great care of her animals. I cleaned up a little while I was there but I'm concerned.

I don't live near her. I've called a couple of time to check in but she rushes me off the phone. She did send a nice e-mail & she is going to work. She's a journalist so I can see her column on line.

Can anybody offer concrete suggestions about how I can keep her safe? She's not in so much of a crisis that I can see that would warrant me trying to have her committed or anything. I wish I knew her doctor's name. How bad would it be for me to snoop, find the doctor's name off a prescription bottle & tell that person my observations? I knew her previous therapist & called her once when my family member started talking about suicide. I know the therapist can't talk to me, but the person can listen to me.

[smackie9]

Contact social services, they usually can direct you to an out reach group or volunteers that help with the mentally ill or maybe recommend she get committed to a care place. If she is living in those conditions she is putting herself at risk getting very sick, and may have to be put into proper housing because she can't take care of herself. As for the animals I would call animal control because they deserve to be placed in a home where they can also receive decent care.

[smackie9]

I would call her previous therapist and hope they can forward this info. If your cousin has gone down hill thus far, just think how much worse it will get. I have a feeling she isn't taking her medication anymore or at least not taking it properly. It's just a matter of time before she stop functioning enough to work.

[smackie9]

A little story, we had a client that was elderly and very wealthy. She never let anyone in her house, was always well dressed and outside when family invited her out...even the yard was well maintained. The family thought this was odd so they sent her lawyer out there to see if he could get in the door, and he did manage to get in. To his shock, the house was dirty, an inch of dirt on everything, most of the plumbing didn't work, dog shit everywhere, the roof had been leaking for years, the condition of the house was so bad, they had to knock it down.

So the moral of the story is even tho things might seem ok on the outside, it's what's you see on the inside indicates there is something not right.

[hatesthis]

She needs a close lives nearby friend or family or friendly with neighbor to pop in few times a week and check on her, help her out until she gets back to feeling better and less depressed. Did she stop taking her meds?

[michelle23]

I watch this thing about hoarders sometimes. Its a form of anxiety-like the opposite of OCD where they live in shit coz theve a fear of throwing anything out.. and it escalates to the point of an extreme health hazard.

Its not safe living with dog urine/poo... parasites, bacteria.. perhaps the mould is causing this depression? Or maybe her house has gotten bad from the depression..

I dont know how you can help her. Shes gotta be willing to meet you half way. Have you tried telling her she needs help and your here for her. Ask her not to shut you out that you just want to help her get better... if she refuses then im not sure what you can do

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