He wants to move, but I don't

[thebluepill]

I’m a SAHM with four children in a blended family (one child together).

We decided it would be best for me to stay home when we were pregnant with the youngest. I have been home for four years now.

My husband wants to move the family out of state. The area where he wants to move is pretty rural. We currently live in a large city. My plan was to go back to work next year. Where he wants to move there are absolutely no employment opportunities except for small retail workers and caring for seniors and the pay is ridiculously low.

I do not like the slow paced life, and neither do my children. My oldest lives at home and commutes to college, and does not want to move, my second says she does not want to leave either. While I understand where he wants to live is cheaper (could save more), there is nothing to do there, the nearest museum is almost two hours away, the closest amusement park is about 3 hours away; and again, there are no employment opportunities and the school system there is ranked as one of the worst. Where we live now, my children attend some of the best schools and are in the G&T programs.

I have spoken to him about this, but he is convinced once we get there we will love it. He is a homebody, but has a demanding career where he travels and can work remotely and live wherever he wants. He doesn’t like to go out much; we don’t even go out for our anniversary and never takes me out for my birthday, which we have spoken about but he dismisses me. So, I’m always home or out with the kids. We do, however, go out together with the kids often.

I have tried talking to him, I have tried to compromise by suggesting other neighborhoods in other states which have a mix bag of what we both want, but he always has an excuse, like its’ too expensive (even though it is cheaper than where we are now), or the weather, or the traffic (traffic is a big thing for him).

He has been trying to convince me now for a few years and is now telling me to put off my job search so we can spend a month in the area he is suggesting over the summer.

I don’t know what to do. Part of me feels he is being manipulative by not wanting me to go back to work and moving me somewhere I won’t have anything to do and the only people I know there will be his parents. I love him and know he loves me. He is kind, sweet, and a wonderful provider, but my instincts are telling me something stinks here.

Any advice would be appreciated

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell him if he wants to move out of state, he'll be doing it alone.

[HeartIsAching]

I don’t know what to do. Part of me feels he is being manipulative by not wanting me to go back to work and moving me somewhere I won’t have anything to do and the only people I know there will be his parents. I love him and know he loves me. He is kind, sweet, and a wonderful provider, but my instincts are telling me something stinks here.

Any advice would be appreciated

It sounds to me as if that's exactly what he is trying to do. He's had you at home for 4 years and likes it.

You could just say "The alimony and child support will beggar you."

[iloveyoukaola]

Tell him if he wants to move out of state, he'll be doing it alone.

I think this is a good advise