I am really into this girl, know of her for some time, but just recently that we started hanging out. Anyways, we hung out casually as friends a couple of times, before we went on a more date-like thing earlier this week. Basically, it ended with us talking about how we felt, and she said that she doesn't know what she wants, that she has trust issues (instead of trusting people until proven otherwise, she instinctively assumes that people can't be trusted), and that she's afraid that if she "goes" for this, she'll end up hurt.
So I am wondering how to handle this. Should I back away? Should I give her a lot of time? Do any of you have any experience with girls that have trust issues? How can you make them trust you?
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Thread: Dating a girl with trust issues
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13-12-13, 09:43 AM #1
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Dating a girl with trust issues
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13-12-13, 11:14 AM #2
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It is harder to date someone with trust issues, but not impossible of course. Trust will come with time. After u are established as a couple, be transparent. Don't hide anything from her and communicate. Just be honest from the beginning and over time she should get over her trust issues. If she can't
Maybe she should go to
Counseling or read some books
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13-12-13, 11:17 AM #3
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She's setting this up so that she has an excuse to behave however she wants. Treat her as a **** buddy and continue looking for a girl who doesn't have petty issues like this. Don't bring up where you stand or emotions or any of that shit, and this girl will be all over you. Keep pushing labels and whatnot and she's going to jerk you around.
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13-12-13, 12:24 PM #4
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If she does agree to date you, be open and honest and behave in a trustworthy manner. But DO NOT accept any shit from her. Do not tolerate paranoid hissy fits or privacy violations. Do not accept any accusations. In short, if the lack of trust brings out unacceptable and unwarranted behaviour from her, dump her immediately.
Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.
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13-12-13, 12:26 PM #5
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Just be an honest, open gentleman....but if that doesn't work, your relationship will never work.
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13-12-13, 01:30 PM #6
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Hah classic friend zone BS. She just gave you the brush off dude....the old "I don't want to get hurt" or "I have trust issues" "It's not you it's me" "I'm not ready for a relationship (not with you anyways).
Just leave it, she doesn't want to date you period. Stop wasting your time.
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13-12-13, 02:22 PM #7
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Hadn't thought of that. You could be on to something
Originally Posted by smackie9
Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.
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13-12-13, 04:01 PM #8
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Probably best to chalk it up as a learning experience and move on.
Let us say she DOES want to date or be lovers etc. Do you really want to be with someone who is going to constantly think you are cheating? Believe me, that is NO fun. Especially these days. What if you didn't text her back immediately and she thought you were at the Playboy mansion "road testing" Hugh Hefner's 10 new girlfriends?
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13-12-13, 05:29 PM #9
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...Backup's previous observation that you might be a genius very well may be true. O.o Never thought of that. Originally Posted by smackie9
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13-12-13, 07:17 PM #10
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A lot of people have trust issues especially during the early stages and especially if they have been hurt before.. I think its kinda normal to be a little anxious/wary in the beginning when you are still getting to know someone. Trust has to be earned over time.
But some people are a nightmare to date and can even be abusive if their trust issues are OTT so I would just thread carefully if I were you. If she starts acting like a crazy b**ch accusing you of looking at every girl on the street or checking your phone or being evil towards any girl who smiles at you or says hello then just run a mile"Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".
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13-12-13, 07:34 PM #11
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As someone who has trust issues, I would advise you to maybe get to know her more before you date her, and really make sure she's what you want. If you do decide to go for it, be prepared to put in a ridiculous amount of work, and you'll have to put in way more than just your 100% Good luck.
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13-12-13, 09:27 PM #12
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Just leave her and try dating someone with fewer issues.
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