Advice on LDR

[lynncy]

Hi there!

I am currently in a LDR, in need of advice on how to keep the romance alive... Has any of you been separated from your love for months and how did you succeed to maintain your partner's interest?

Thx a lot for any suggestions!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

What is the reason for LDR? Is there a solid timeframe of when you'll be back in close proximity?

[Rowen]

Well, my boyfriend and I originally started going on dates last August, but it was sadly two weeks before I left for college. So, despite the fact we're only 1 hr and a 1/2 by car (according to his route) and a couple hours travel by bus and train for me, we've been trying to make it work. A lot of it just has to do with communication. Make sure you never go more than one day without communicating with one another (either text or phone call or both). And from time to time, I'll write a number of letters to him so that, while I can't be there in the flesh, he'll at least have something to look forward to when the post comes in. If you two are big on communication, I'd say to try that. We were going to try Skype, but he has a problem with his webcam on his laptop and hasn't gotten a chance to fix it yet. But if I were you, I would try that too.

Aside from that, the most I can say is to try to see one another as much as possible. Although this kind of boiled a few problems for Dave and I, I try to make him feel like he isn't alone, and he does the same for me.

And last but not least, I will warn you that distance like this is going to make you crazy sometimes... It's going to put a lot of strain on your relationship. But if you love him or are falling for him, don't give up because it can always get better. I hope this helps some. :S

[manip]

My wife and I lived 100 km apart (and through the border) for 15 months before we moved in together. We saw each other at least twice a month and spent many weekends together. It's that dedication that's required to make it work.

[Petit Papillon]

My bf and I live many km's apart ( Germany to Spain) and 5 later it still works. Of course at the beginning we were living together for about 1,5 years, then I left for university and since then it's a constant work on maintaining the relationship. It works good, as we never had any problems (besides missing each other). But there are few conditions: TRUST, TIME, MONEY. Those things are important. Trust is important to not get crazy. Time, I spend all of my free time there, whenever he can come he is coming or we are going somewhere together. Money, that costs A LOT of money. Of course if you want to see your partner at least once per month. Dunno how much we've spent on plane tickets etc. but it must be a fortune by now.
Besides, there have to be few rules (maybe not written, but they still exist). You have to know how long will you both be apart. You have to be in constant contact. You need to do everything to shorten the time you are apart.
And love

LDR's don't work very often. But I always have this idea in my mind: I prefer to be far away from my bf for some time, than to not have him in my life at all. He is not only my partner, but also my friend and my family. You don't cross your family off the list just because they are far away from you...
And for us it will be in one year (more or less) over, so it's almost done

[DalM0m]

1.5 hours is that long distance. I did a bi-coastal relationship before the internet & Cell phones. Communicating often is good. Try snail mail too; it's nice to have something tangible. One LDR guy once bought me a heart shaped pillow with arms so that I could get hug when he wasn't there. If you do something unusual with your days . . . which is hard in college . . . send the other person a little cheap souveiner even a post card from that new place.

[fearoflove]

Depends on how far you two live apart and how often you see each other. You should have no trouble keeping the romance alive if you see each other at least once a week or every other week. But if you barely see each other (as in once or twice a year), there is no stopping the relationship from going stale. Been there and done that. Long distance kills romance because you don't get to enjoy seeing each other in person, doing activities together, and getting physical which is important in growing close to each other. Rather, you "see" each other through the computer screen and conversations run dry fast. And there has to be solid plans to end the long distance soon for a relationship to work. Unless you get to see each other pretty often, long distance really isn't worth it. Leave space for someone who can have a real relationship with you.

[lynncy]

In July 2014 he's coming back home. Only 7 months to go...visits are not a problem, we make the effort and understand when we can't...I guess I'm looking for a surprise element and variety for our daily communication...your experiences and ideas are just great and have encouraged me a lot! Thx!!!