Double Screwed

[Cry Wolf]

I'm not sure what my story is about. My fiancee or my girlfriend (both two different people). They both like me, just not enough I guess. These stories are always long. And I can't really tell it without sounding like an asshole.

Long story short, I think I'm falling out of love with my fiancee that I've been seeing for 5 years. I'm unhappy a lot of times, but mostly I just question myself and am scared. What scares me the most is that I don't know if she would already be gone if she wasn't so dependent. My girlfriend, on the other hand, likes me a lot. However she is already in a relationship, which makes things more complicated and I think I'm falling in love with her.

Basically mass confusion. I don't know who I love and who I don't... If it's love I actually feel or still love I already do... My gf I met at work, we clicked amazingly in a very short amount of time. We hung out once before we went on a date. On our first date, she mentioned she should have been more honest and told me about her boyfriend. And I haven't told my fiancee anything. My fiance wants to be with me, but I don't think she cares enough. and my gf really likes me and wants to make things work, but she is torn between me and her real boyfriend (who we both have the same name btw). I'm trapped in limbo here and looks like I might lose both. I can't decide which one to offer my full attention to for fear of losing the other. And I don't know which I feel comfortable losing most.

Should sex be a factor at all? I really like the both of them, but I feel guilty factoring in something as "shallow" as sex in a long-term matter of the heart which I am readily willing to follow.

And just to fill people in on the ages, I'm a couple of months away from being 30. My fiance is 28, my girlfriend turned 18 and graduated high school only 4 months ago.

So help me, pity me, look down upon me and judge. Take your pick.

[basilandthyme]

Cry Wolf, you're trying to cover your bases - but neither girl is right for you.

Your fiancé isn't interested anymore, so cut her lose. The fact that she's dependant on you is not your problem.

The other girl has a boyfriend and she's HIS girlfriend, not yours.

Get rid of both of them and start from the beginning with a girl who is single and who appreciates you.

[4 ratties]

Ew you've been putting your dick in an 18 yr old? Haha you actually think an 18 yr old cheating slut knows anything about faithfulness and being in a Mature relationship? If u wanna just piss around and ask like a young idiot again then go ahead and be with the teenage cheating girlfriend.
Or don't be with either cuz u must not really love either one to be cheating and so dishonest. But then again your area doesn't need a mass out break of herpes if u didn't have your just 2 girlfriends to bang.
So maybe continue how u are now until one gets pregnant and then u can go straight to hell for ruining a child's life.

[Rowen]

Cry Wolf, you're trying to cover your bases - but neither girl is right for you.

Your fiancé isn't interested anymore, so cut her lose. The fact that she's dependant on you is not your problem.

The other girl has a boyfriend and she's HIS girlfriend, not yours.

Get rid of both of them and start from the beginning with a girl who is single and who appreciates you.

Completely agree, but I'd like to add that he should be FAITHFUL no matter what.

[hatesthis]

18 is too young for a 30 year old, you don't want to be stamped with a creeper status, and she just turned 18 recently. Your dating ages should probably be 24 to 30. Plus why do you have a very young gf when you already have a fiancee of 5 years.

[searock]

You're 30 and you sleep with an 18 year old? That's just creepy and disgusting. You are hurting her.

[romantic-88]

Such a mess!

You already have some advice here (before me). I will add sth different (I am completing the other advice NOT REPLACING IT): I believe that the answer is always in your heart. You know better than anyone else who YOU LOVE. Listen to your heart!
Attention: from my own experience I can confirm, it is nice to listen to your heart but people do not understand who does what and why and sometimes it may end bad.
However I can not give you another advice than FOLLOW YOUR HEART! I have never given another advice in my life.
Of course on one hand you must listen to your heart (ask yourself who you really love)+ on the other hand try to think a little bit about the consequences, the situation.
Listen to your heart + to your mind!
The advice given before mine concerns the MIND (what is reasonable). My advice concerns the heart (who is in your heart?). You are the only one to know the answer.
One last thing: Whatever you decide, remember that YOU decide and IT IS ENTIRELY your responsibility (not to those who advised you) AND IT IS YOUR LIFE.


REMEMBER: do not ask anyone for advice, do not trust anyone's opinion, do not follow exactly what others tell you is best for you. They can not know what is going in your heart, they can not know what you want, what you need.

p.s. A girlfriend AND a fiancee (WOW! Man...why are you complicating your life?)
It is not easy with 1 girl and you are with 2...
(it is the same with men: it is not easy with 1...why complicating the situation by being with 2?)
p.s 2: You are graduating from High School at 29/30 ?
p.s.3: You have a fiancee AND a girlfriend: as you suppose YOU sound like an ASSHOLE (sorry).

Good luck!


I ADD STH*
"It is better to see sth ONCE than to hear it 1000 TIMES"- this is very wise

Do not leave your decisions in other people's hands, do not BELIEVE other people's opinion UNTIL you make your own opinion. Do not believe people ESPECIALLY those telling you what to do (imposing you what to do), it MUST be YOU and no one else who decides.
Try to find out always the right answer (the right decision) by yourself. If you are not sure about someone (what he did, why) then it is better not to say anything than to make a quick and wrong opinion about this person.

When we speak about private life and feelings it is always VERY difficult to give advice.
The advisor MUST be objective (not winning and not losing anything from the advice), must be very just very correct with people, must have sense of justice, must have experience and must be a modest and a good person.


I can share sth from my private life:
I had enough of people PRETENDING to know me when they DID NOT (so well).
I had enough of people constantly discussing my private life, speaking against me and USING FACTS FROM MY PAST (private life) in order to EARN MONEY...this way trying to cause problems to my career even.

I had enough of advisors as well (people who want to tell someone what kind of person I am, what i DID and why, PEOPLE who have never been at my place and WHO DO NOT KNOW ME).

I am tired of liars, cheaters and defamators who are permanently offending me without taking a look at themselves first.

[Cry Wolf]

18 is too young for a 30 year old, you don't want to be stamped with a creeper status, and she just turned 18 recently. Your dating ages should probably be 24 to 30. Plus why do you have a very young gf when you already have a fiancee of 5 years.

Well, her boyfriend of 2 years is 32. but, i only found out she was that young a bit after. So its not just me, obviously she has an affinity toward somewhat older men. besides, theres what?--like an 11 year difference between us? i've dated women 14 years older than myself. we're all consenting adults.

[searock]

I feel sorry for her.

[michelle23]

Your cheating on a girl who has given you 5 years of her life! You should be ashamed of yourself

your problem is you have a fear of being on your own. Instead if ending your long term relationship that you are no longer happy in and being alone, you lined up a plan B first. That is really pathetic and disgusting

tell your fiance the truth and let her go. Let her find a real man with balls who isn't such a weak coward and who has morals and do what you want after that

if you care about her at all-you will stop lying to her

as for the little girl your f**king-go and see a therapist and figure out wtf you want to date a teenager.

[Cry Wolf]

Just to say thanks to basilandthyme, Rowen and romantic-88. And also to clarify some things. My fiancee and I have "rules" that we are somewhat okay with, allowing us to be with other people. Rules such as we aren't supposed to go on dates, no dinners, movies, ect... And other rules such as no gifting.--No flowers, notes, nothing. The rules are in place so we can fulfill our sexual lifestyle. But also to keep barriers up to prevent falling in love with another. My guilt comes in place because I've broken some of these rules and started developing feelings for one of the most unlikely of the women I've had a fling with. This is detail i left out, but i guess i should have included it. Also, romantic-88, lol, no... I did not graduate high school at 29. My gf recently did at 18.

[Cry Wolf]

I feel sorry for her.

yeah, which one?

[Rowen]

Oh, so you can lead others on with sex, use them, and toss them aside. Wow, because that's SO MUCH better... -_-

[Rowen]

yeah, which one?

Both of them

[michelle23]

Well if your f**king someone regularly your gonna develop feelings unless your a robot.. duh! You and your fiance are both morons. If you insist on an open relationship where feelings are not allowed then you have one night stands-nothing more.

Anyway im out of this thread coz its just putting me in a bad mood.

Slan (means goodbye in irish