Is it bad that we never talk about marriage?

[venus__rising86]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years.
Very very early on he mentioned he'd like to buy a house with me. I was a little shocked as we were only together for a few weeks, but lightheartedly agreed to the idea. Even going so far as to discussing what type of furniture/ color scheme I'd like to have. I kinda tossed this talk around casually later on in the relationship.

I'm a little concerned however, after almost 4 years, that he has never mentioned any desire to have kids or get married. I'm too scared to bring it up in case he freaks out. His older brother and sister both had kids before marriage and he's said he wants a house first and doesn't want to make the same mistake as his siblings. No offence to people who have had kids out of wedlock. I myself don't care either way how people do it, but I know he's doing it for his traditional parents.

But still no talk? Nothing. I'm not waiting, I'm not putting the pressure on, dropping little hints here and there. But I'd feel a lot more secure if I knew he wanted these things with 'me'.
It's incredibly embarrassing when friends and family ask when we're getting married. He either pretends he can't hear them or ignores it all together, leaving me to fend off the question.

We broke up briefly and since getting back together there's been no talk of house from his end. I'm a little older than him... I'm 27 and he's 24, but I'm really over using his age as a reason why we're not progressing. I would be happy just to have a conversation about it, just to ease my mind.

Should I bring it up? I want kids and marriage but not right now... I feel like I'll just come off as desperate and needy though. He's also not making any waves in terms of getting that house... no savings, not working full time. I feel like I'm wasting my time...

[DalM0m]

You can & should bring it up. While you don't have to act on the conversation immediately you should figure out what's on his mind.

You also need to talk about his long term goals. I don't see how you can plan a solid financial future if he's not even trying to get a FT job.

[Rowen]

Duplicate Thread

[michelle23]

Why not just casually drop it in there. Next time your adoring a friends baby say something like "Im looking forward to having kids of my own one day-they are really cute"

See how he reacts..

When he does mention this house- does he say "our house" as in both of you together?

He did mention that he wants kids AFTER marriage and house which sounds like you want the same things in general but you need to look for hints that he wants these things with you.

If not, then its time to break up permanently..

why did you break up last time?