Problem with Wifey

[manip]

I'm often away for 10-15 days because of my work. It's what it is and I can't change it. 3 days ago my wife confessed that she has been having sex with a female family friend. We've all known each other for a few years and she often visits my wife when I'm away. They just started fooling around one night, thought it was funny but only did it a couple of times. I was in shock and I still am. Have been on the road again for the last 2 days and I haven't called my wife once. The only thing I told her before I left is that I don't want her to come to our house anymore. We've never had any infidelity problems in our 5 years or marriage, our sex life is great and we deeply love each other. I'm too embarrassed to confront her about this but I can't slip it under the rug either. Was this just an experience for her or she could have some lesbian tendencies? What do you think? I could try to get past the first one but I couldn't tolerate the second one.

[DalM0m]

You are going to have to talk to her. When you got married, you promised to foresake all others; there wasn't an exception for same sex relationships. We can't tell you if your wife is gay, bi or going through a phase but she's got to figure it out & you get to chose whether you want to stick around while she does. Also the fact that you are gone for work is no excuse.

[Rowen]

You are going to have to talk to her. When you got married, you promised to foresake all others; there wasn't an exception for same sex relationships. We can't tell you if your wife is gay, bi or going through a phase but she's got to figure it out & you get to chose whether you want to stick around while she does. Also the fact that you are gone for work is no excuse.

I agree with this, but I think if anything she is curious. But that is just MY OPINION and is not FACT.

Communicate with her... Obviously, she wouldn't have told you about it all if she didn't have a measure of guilt and respect for you. Even if you tell her that you aren't really sure how you feel about it, at least she knows your honest answer.

[smackie9]

Hah it's funny how some think if it's two women getting it on it sort of not that bad......BUT IT IS! Your wife has finally come out of the closet. I doubt very highly that this just happened, this has been going on for years. It has come to a point now that they are probably in love and her GF is pressuring her to separate from you, but your wife doesn't have the courage, so she just admitted to their affair......These feelings for other women is not an over night thing....possibly she has been this way all her life or she has these feelings nagging at her for years but didn't want to admit it. I know that acts of homosexuality in India can get you landed in prison, so what better way to avoid that than be in a legit heterosexual marriage.

Have a talk with both of them and get the truth out or nothing will change...she will continue with this affair no matter what you say. This sort of thing happens to a lot of people, and sadly they choose a life of denial, and deceive their spouse. They never think about the damage, and heartache it will cause from their own selfish actions to hide it. Just my opinion. You take whatever that has been put forth in this thread. Best of luck.

[michelle23]

Im with smackie. I doubt this "just happened". Cheating never "just happens". You need to ask your wife how long this has been going on? Is she a lesbian?

Even if shes not, you should still treat this the same as you would if she slept with another man. A betrayal is a betrayal no matter what way you look at it

[pcmaster]

Her friend might be lesbian and seduced her. While you was away friend might have find what your wife missed and gave it in form that cant be denied.

[Boisdevie]

Unless we get to see the video I think the OP is just winding us up.

[Rowen]

Unless we get to see the video I think the OP is just winding us up.

lmao I love this post. xD

And to Smackie- under no circumstances do I find it any better than a woman doing it with another man. All I'm suggesting is that he openly communicates with her so they both understand where they stand. Personally, I would leave her. But that's my opinion based on the fact I know I would never be able to trust her again. The OP, it sounds like, isn't extremely sure yet how he feels on the subject. This is probably because it hasn't sunk in yet. But that's just my take on it.

[smackie9]

The thing is he isn't around enough to ever deal with this properly.

[Rowen]

Very true, but when in doubt, a phone call is better than nothing.

[manip]

Your support is much appreciated, dear people. She called me, did most of the talking, saying how sorry she is and assuring me again and again that she's not into women. Never would have thought but I just can't hate her. Should she had slept with a man it would be the end of our marriage. She promised to join me in my next journeys like in the old times and this used to be hottt. Without me mentioning it she agreed to move after eight months of controversy. Housing is cheaper and the area is developing rapidly, it's also far from where we are now and I suddenly find this very convenient. We'll see.

[Rowen]

Good luck, OP.

[TurnBackTime]

See, this wouldn't make me mad, simply because the other woman provided something that I could not. If it was another man, I am with the OP, it would be over.

This is still cheating, but at the very least it wasn't with somebody providing what the husband can. You will have to trust her for now and hope that this isn't happening any longer. You could try to arrange having a mutually beneficial threesome where both women join you in bed...but that is up to you to decide if that is something you are interested in.

[Rowen]

See, this wouldn't make me mad, simply because the other woman provided something that I could not. If it was another man, I am with the OP, it would be over.

This is still cheating, but at the very least it wasn't with somebody providing what the husband can. You will have to trust her for now and hope that this isn't happening any longer. You could try to arrange having a mutually beneficial threesome where both women join you in bed...but that is up to you to decide if that is something you are interested in.

I'm sorry, which stupid tree did you fall out of?