New ground for me...

[someguyintexas]

That's not advise HB... That's jumping the gun without even trying to understand in situation or reading the posts... I am not nor did I ever ask for advise on if I should stay with her or not... I am sorry for whatever happened to you to make you bitter. If you don't want to be helpful to my question and provide advise that's on topic then please just don't.

I am Born Again thru the Blood of Christ. Yes, I was a sinner and I still am. Thankfully Christ forgives me for my sins. I think it's called "UN-Conditional Love" and that is what I have for my fiance. Again, I hope someday you can understand... If not Christ, I hope you find someone you can love with all your heart and not just a small part of your body...

BTW -> Lived 8 years in Costa Mesa, 2 years in Anaheim, 3 years in Hayward, 4 years in Crescent City, and 4 years in Huntington Beach before I moved to Texas... I know what the people in California call California... CALLI... You and your friends may not however I do not believe you are the spokesman for the state.

[surfhb2]

Ok.....whats your question? I'll try and offer some good advise

[4 ratties]

Have some self respect and dump this cheating slut.

[surfhb2]

Have some self respect and dump this cheating slut.

Another point against you Mr D

[smackie9]

I know we are not supposed to post other sites but this a Christian site I used to post on. I recommend http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/forums/

This might give you what you are looking for......Christian support.

[DalM0m]

Someguyintextas

I think your religion is blinding you. Yes, Jesus forgave even Mary Magdelyn but he didn't marry her.

In response to my original post you wrote something about wanting to protect your GF/FI's reputation from mutual friends because "She's not like that." Oh honey . . . she is exactly like that.

You have strong rooted religious beliefs about marriage, virginity & honesty. She broke all of them & a few commandments. It's very sweet that you want to forgive her & move past this but it's not a great idea. When she moved, she changed. She's not the same innocent girl you fell in love with. She took most of your values & stomped all over them. There's nothing for you to get back because that girl is long gone.

[smackie9]

There is a possibility that he did.....the stories in the bible have been fudged over the centuries so who truly know what happened.

[someguyintexas]

Smackie9,

Thank you! Just pulled up that page and it hit me, exactly what I needed... The prayer request forum... Thank you!

[someguyintexas]

Dalmom, Thank you. She is still EXACTLY the woman I fell in love with and after talking with her over this last week I know, with Gods help, we will be okay... When a broken bone heals the bone is stronger than it was before. The stories I have read and heard from others gives me confidence that, once God has had a chance to mend our wounds, we will come out on the other side a stronger couple and more in-love then we where before... Couples that push thru things such as infidelity take one of three paths 1-they breakup and give up on the union 2- they say they want to try and work thru it, but break up anyway or 3- they do try and work thru it, they put everything on the table and on the line to make it work...

Thank you again

[someguyintexas]

4 ratties... She is 32 years old and only had sex with one guy... Can you say the same? Don't see how you figure she is a "slut"... I can assure you, she is not. She is the most beautiful Angel I have ever had the pleasure of knowing...

[BackUpOrGetStng]

So why did you come here if you don't need advice on anything and have already made your mind up?

[Starnique]

I'm a Christian believer. I don't always do what I suppose to but I do believe in it. I don't believe that you have to put up with her mess. God also gives you wisdom to make good decisions and you do have to forgive but you don't have to be foolish. So you have Christian values? Does she?. She's lied, cheated, fornicated...I mean the list goes on. Don't use being a Christian as an excuse. If you wanna stay with her, that's your foolishness all by yourself. What about that?

[someguyintexas]

So why did you come here if you don't need advice on anything and have already made your mind up?

I guess people who come here for advise are just looking for someone to tell them the leave the person they are with being that most of the "Advise" here has either insulted her or myself. After reading some of the other posts it appears to be a common theme... I chose the wrong site it seems...

I'm a Christian believer. I don't always do what I suppose to but I do believe in it. I don't believe that you have to put up with her mess. God also gives you wisdom to make good decisions and you do have to forgive but you don't have to be foolish. So you have Christian values? Does she?. She's lied, cheated, fornicated...I mean the list goes on. Don't use being a Christian as an excuse. If you wanna stay with her, that's your foolishness all by yourself. What about that?

Normally I would totally agree with you... The only thing I know is how I feel about her foolish or not. We all make mistakes in our lives, I do not think we should be defined by our mistakes. Mistakes are how we grow. It wasn't even my first thought to leave her, I know it should have been... I have always told myself, if I was not married to a woman, and she cheated on me that is a line she could not cross and it would be over. I just know I love her and we can get thru this...


Thank you all for your comments sorry if I wasn't the willing participant you all expected. Sometimes just following LOVE is the right move...

[surfhb2]

Dalmom, Thank you. She is still EXACTLY the woman I fell in love with and after talking with her over this last week I know, with Gods help, we will be okay... When a broken bone heals the bone is stronger than it was before. The stories I have read and heard from others gives me confidence that, once God has had a chance to mend our wounds, we will come out on the other side a stronger couple and more in-love then we where before... Couples that push thru things such as infidelity take one of three paths 1-they breakup and give up on the union 2- they say they want to try and work thru it, but break up anyway or 3- they do try and work thru it, they put everything on the table and on the line to make it work...

Thank you again

She's calling you out and you're thanking her for the post?

[smackie9]

Well I don't think she sees it as a mistake she is labeling it as a mistake in order to receive your forgiveness. If she truly saw it as a mistake she would not have let it continue for over a year. To me she is selfish and a coward for she couldn't even just come forward to properly end the relationship and confess that she wanted sew her wild oats. No instead she had her cake an ate it too with an engagement nicely displayed on her finger.

Your perception of forgiveness is misconstrued. Forgiveness is to not let the wrong eat at you, to release anger, to let go negative feelings....there nothing that says you have to sacrifice your self worth for the person.