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Thread: Losing Interest but I don't want to lose interest!

  1. #1
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    Nov 2013
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    Losing Interest but I don't want to lose interest!

    Hi everyone. I need an advice. I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is 25 years old.
    SO to summary this my parents don't approve our relationship. I always dream of having a boyfriend so close to my family and consider him as their own. We're working on this part. He twice visit our house but my father really don't accept him. LITERALLY , my father got an attitude. LOL. So it makes my boyfriend feel kinda afraid to visit now our house. We're about to celebrate our first year this January. My father also stop talking to me. He gives me a silent treatment. Thinking that I might leave my boyfriend for a change of talking to me. wtf?

    Anyway the problem is this. I have this feeling of not wanting to see my boyfriend. I love him and really I see my future with him. And he loves me so much too I can tell that. But, when I am with him now. Its not like before. No spark like before. Is this just a phase? I think I lost interest when there's a time I am super sad. He choose to sleep and not talk about it. He said he do not know what to say. He said he is also tired being sad. When I think there's a problem we need to talk to. He don't want to bring it up. and the next day as if nothing happens. I feel alone and sad. I want to understand him also. I tried to saying to myself. "be happy be happy" .. but I feel I am faking my smile. I want to tell it to him but I am afraid he'll sleep again for the third time. Also, he get sad when I am sad saying that he is not a good boyfriend because he can't make me happy. He also said its not allowed to get sad. SO I am trying to hide my sadness but I think it makes our relationship not work. All I want is for him to ask how am I. and not always act so happy and nothing happens. I am the type of person where if there is a problem I want to talk about it and resolve it. I think he is the type when there is a problem. let go like it never happen. It will not work for me that way. SO I start losing interest. I dont want to ask hows him at work. What did he do. etc. I start losing insterest to talk to him. I don't even feel like asking him "how are you today." He is sweet . physically sweet where he likes kisses and hugs. touching. But, serious stuffs. he doesnt like to talk about it. I know he loves me. But I can't even ask him about his plans about my parents. I even told him my fears. But he did not respond. I love him really. But why am I feeling this way.?

  2. #2
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    Depression? See a doctor.

  3. #3
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    Some relationships just don't work.
    It may have taken you awhile to find this out. Things just are not working. People get hurt. Sometimes its best to end things sooner then later.

  4. #4
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    Sounds like that may just be his personality. If it's really something u can't live with, then u should break up, no point wasting eachother's time. But your next boyfriend may have a worse problem such as never giving affection or being negative or something. Part of loving someone is accepting them how they are.

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Are you sure it isn't just the fact that you two are established and comfortable? After knowing someone a year, there isn't much more "putting on an act" to impress, you get to see the real person.
    The newness wears off after a time.
    You could find a new boyfriend but then sooner or later the newness of that one will wear off.
    Maybe time for you two to re-examine and discuss what you are hoping for in the future. Don't give up just yet.

    There is one thing you could try but it could end very good or very bad -
    Mention a break-up like "I am not sure we should keep seeing each other". Bad case is if he agrees and then you are possibly crushed. Good case is he gets nervous REAL fast and finally decides to discuss concerns with you.
    Try to mentally prepare for both cases. If he decides to talk - that would be the time to get everything off both your chests. Parts of the conversation may not be fun but do not result to anger or arguing, try to see each others' sides.

    Yes it is a cheap shot that could either backfire on YOU or wake HIS ass up.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    You may be feeling this way because the relationship has run it's course. There isn't enough there for you to fight through your parents disapproval. You may just be done & that's OK. You are allow to end relationships.

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