Just sex, is it over?

[iaa]

I have been seeing a coworker and having sex with him for a few months now. We have been totally keeping it a secret at work.

The last time we had sex was about 3 1/2 weeks ago. I'm not on birth control, and he didn't pull out. I told him he shouldn't have done that, and two weeks later I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I took a second test and it was also positive. I called him and told him I was pregnant. The next day I took another test and it was negative, so I called him and told him that I think they were false positives and I'm not pregnant. Now, we don't talk on the phone very often and I didn't call him for the next five days. On the fifth day he called me and asked me why I haven't called him. I told him he could have called me at any time. He didn't bring up the whole pregnancy thing, and he had to go saying he would call me back, but I didn't hear from him again. I texted him a few days later and asked him how he was and we texted back and forth a little bit. The next day I texted him a flirty message, which we normally don't do since we don't want evidence of our relationship. He called me a little later and asked me why I was texting him stuff like that. I told him I knew he was in the office by himself and he could just delete it. I asked him when I could see him again and he said on christmas, which is rediculous cause he knows I have a five year old son to spend time with, so I told him I couldn't see him then. He then changed to subject to work, complained about work a bit, then he got really frustrated about work and said he might quit. He then told me he was leaving the office and said he was going to let me go. I told him to hold on because I wanted him to answer my question of when I can see him, and he told me no because he is getting the hell out of the office. He basically hung up on me at that point after telling me he is going. I texted him when can I see you again, and he never responded. Is he ending this fling. I really wanna keep seeing him, and I feel kinda disappointed right now.

[smackie9]

You are getting to demanding for someone who is just a f uck buddy...he feels you are too much of a pregnancy risk and you are getting too attached.....he doesn't want to see you anymore he doesn't want to see you anymore, that is his decision, oh well.


Wow who told you that the pull out method was a good method of birth control? There is sperm in precum btw. Just putting it out there, maybe you should consider condoms. Who knows where this guy's penis has been, there's no cure for herpes ya know. And no dude wants to support an unwanted baby.

[iaa]

You are getting to demanding for someone who is just a f uck buddy...he feels you are too much of a pregnancy risk and you are getting too attached.....he doesn't want to see you anymore he doesn't want to see you anymore, that is his decision, oh well.


Wow who told you that the pull out method was a good method of birth control? There is sperm in precum btw. Just putting it out there, maybe you should consider condoms. Who knows where this guy's penis has been, there's no cure for herpes ya know. And no dude wants to support an unwanted baby.

I don't know how I got too demanding for asking him one time when I could see him again. I hardly ever call him, and he is the one who called and asked why I hadn't called in a while. I certainly don't think I'm too demanding or overly attached at all. Plus, duh, I'm a pregnancy risk. I'm young and of child bearing age. Of course I'm a pregnancy risk. He knew that the whole time. I kept from getting pregnant with the pull out method for seven years with my ex husband. I think it's a lot more effective than just shooting a shit load of sperm inside of me. Plus, precum doesn't have sperm in it.

I'm not even allowed to be disappointed that I can't see someone again? I do like him.

I hope I can get some responses from people who have a bit more common curtosy than you do.

[smackie9]

Getting emotionally attached gets you disappointed.... the way he has treated you is a reflection of what type of person he is. He's turned into a poor choice.




Yes precum can have some sperm in it but yes not always, and it still can get women pregnant..... your ex husband was obviously careful. This other guy careless, so this method is still high risk no matter how you slice it.

[pcmaster]

Just wondering why do you believe in second test not the first one? Its safer to check at the doctor.

BTW if relasionship have to be secret you shouldnt be in it.

[iaa]

I had a blood test done at the doctor, and it came back negative.

I know he's not a good relationship choice, but I don't want a relationship with him. I am just VERY attracted to him. It was hard to be around him before I was messing with him because I wanted to touch him and kiss him. I have never been that attracted to someone where I can hardly stand to be in the same room with them. I normally wouldn't do this, but I'm not ready to stop yet.

[pcmaster]

Well you know how these things end.

[michelle23]

Sex releases oxytocin and vasopression as well as dopamine so no matter what you do to prevent becoming attached-you WILL become attached! Also dopamine makes you a drug to each other. Thats why you dont want to stop. Your addicted to him

You already know he is not relationship or father material so stop wasting your time on him and go find a decent bloke worth your time who would be there if an accidental pregnancy was to happen.

[Wakeup]

I have been seeing a coworker and having sex with him for a few months now. We have been totally keeping it a secret at work.

How sad. But I suppose you think you're blessed. Tell me I'm wrong.

The last time we had sex was about 3 1/2 weeks ago. I'm not on birth control, and he didn't pull out. I told him he shouldn't have done that,

How could you be so irresponsible? Seriously. You are old enough to know that ifyou're not on the pill or some other form of birth control then you make him wear a rubber and if he won't then you don't have sex. Dumb, dumb dumb both of you. Why didn't you just automatically take the morning after pill. Tell us why.

He's staying away from you because he doesn't want the hassle of a being tied to you for the rest of his life by a child. Stop being so laxidasical with your birth control when you're not even committed nor in love and you're with a man that you know would not support you and his child.

Stop putting demands on a man that only wants a fvk buddy. Smarten up with your family planning and safe sex.

Plus, precum doesn't have sperm in it.

You're wrong It can certainly have sperm in it if he hasn't blown a load for awhile. Don't continue on being naive and taking risks. Did you have him have STD testing done before you let him inside you? Seriously.

[surfhb2]

The fact you think you can't get pregnant by pulling out is laughable and kinda sad for you......just ask my son

Actually accidentally getting my then gf pregnant was my greatest accomplishment

[iaa]

I'm not worried about the pregnancy. I'm not pregnant, and I made an appointment to get on birth control, so that isn't the issue. Of course I'm going to be more careful in the future. I'm human and I made a mistake. It is no reason to be rude to me (not everyone, just some). I haven't done anything wrong; we are two consenting adults. I'm actually getting kinda sick of thinking about this guy right now cause it's not making me feel good at all, so hopefully I will get over it pretty soon. I thought I would be over it by yesterday, which was the day after our last conversation, but I wasn't.

[Wakeup]

I'm not worried about the pregnancy. I'm not pregnant, and I made an appointment to get on birth control, so that isn't the issue

yes it is. What's wrong with you that you'd think an unplanned pregnancy with a man that doesn't love you isn't at least a part of this issue? He's avoiding you now because he doesn't want to be with someone who isn't looking after her ovaries in a poor mating situation, I'd bet a thousand on it.

Of course I'm going to be more careful in the future. I'm human and I made a mistake. It is no reason to be rude to me (not everyone, just some).

Telling you that you definately need to step up your sexual health practices and you're birth control methods is not being rude to you. You are a blamer and a leave-it-up-to-himer. You are the type that I find annoying because you don't take responsibility for your own actions and then when you're actually called on it and asked to sit at the banquet of the consequences of your actions, you get offended. Well too bad. You need to be educated just by the fact that you think there is no sperm in pre-cum.

I haven't done anything wrong; we are two consenting adults.

What's that got to do with anything? The point is... you are two irresponsible adults. The very fact you would have casual sex while not being on birth control and condoms until testing has been completed and you've established you are being exclusive is naive and dangerous.

I'm actually getting kinda sick of thinking about this guy right now cause it's not making me feel good at all, so hopefully I will get over it pretty soon.

Stop having casual sex if you're not capable of keeping your feelings out of this. He owes you nothing so expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. If you can't do that, then don't have casual sex in an uncommitted dynamic.

I thought I would be over it by yesterday, which was the day after our last conversation, but I wasn't.

You're still not "over it." At this point the best thing you should be focusing on is learning from it... then you'll get over it much quicker.

[smackie9]

Well I had more time to think about and ya Wakeup is right, "he doesn't want to be with someone who isn't looking after her ovaries in a poor mating situation" and you texted him flirty texts when he was at work....you over stepped your boundaries....now you are too much of a risk. He senses you have gotten way too attached now it's time to cut the cord on this fling. It's obvious he doesn't feel the same way you do. You say you "like" him, but we see right through you...you are starting to fall for him. If you continue seeing him, you will find yourself obsessively in love, and that is what he is trying to avoid. You are like a loaded gun, so he's out.

[surfhb2]

Garenteed the guy is clinking beers with his buddies right now know he dodge a howitzer shell between the eyes!

Next time be more careful with guys and birth control. . Good you're on top of it.

[iaa]

Well I had more time to think about and ya Wakeup is right, "he doesn't want to be with someone who isn't looking after her ovaries in a poor mating situation" and you texted him flirty texts when he was at work....you over stepped your boundaries....now you are too much of a risk. He senses you have gotten way too attached now it's time to cut the cord on this fling. It's obvious he doesn't feel the same way you do. You say you "like" him, but we see right through you...you are starting to fall for him. If you continue seeing him, you will find yourself obsessively in love, and that is what he is trying to avoid. You are like a loaded gun, so he's out.

You are totally wrong cause he knew I wasn't on birth control from the beginning, and he was just fine with cuming in me all the same. Also, in the beginning I told him that I would like to get to know him better cause I think I might like him, and he was fine with the way I felt. Eventually, it just was all about sex, and I do feel more lust for him than love. He calls me and flirts with me from work many times, but we just don't leave text messages that can be read later by others. I barely ever call him, and I in no way imposed myself on him.