Feeling like i've dropped the ball with a girl - how to "save it"? :-/

[alnsucks1]

Hi everyone!

Been dating a girl for allmost 2 months now.
Things were going great up until yesterday - we've practically been in a relationship (but not officially), at least i've been fairly sure she wanted to be serious with me.

However, during events last night and through today, i feel like i might have f'ed things up :-/
To summarize: normally, she and i have great rapport, tons of things in common, we laugh at the same things, have great sex etc. etc. and we've both "agreed" that we were happy about being together. During the time i've dated her, i've been playing it somewhat cool with her so i wouldn't scare her off - which has worked.
But yesterday, i just totally lost my cool and felt extremely anxious/awkward/needy and "not myself" around her - i couldn't relax at all. It felt like the balance of our relationship shifted, and instead of me being in control and leading our relationship, i was a total wuss and couldn't even act normal around her big brother (he means a lot to her, and being able to do well with him is big points in her book). I spent the night with her, but all through today i felt the same thing - and when we said goodbye to each other, it definitely felt like she had lost some of her attraction towards me, in the manner she said goodbye.
She also told me to my face that i seemed like i had changed from the last time i saw her (which was only 2 days before, where all went smooth). In fact, she told me she'd been planning to ask me if i really liked her or not, but had changed her mind (??).

Also - i bought her a christmas present, and she didn't buy me one - and even though i told her it wasn't a serious present (i bought her some socks and some small animal figures she likes) i still feel like it's sending her a signal that i'm too dependant and needy for her approval (which is how i feel, but i really don't want that to come across!).

Fact is, that i am definitely very much in love with her, and i've planned to ask her on new years eve if she wanted to become serious with me, but now i'm afraid that i can't make it happen, and i'm even more afraid that when i see her again it'll be more of the same "insecure" me. We haven't arranged another date, but we've talked about spending time in the holidays, and we're going to the same new years.

So... What should i do? I allmost feel like admitting to her that i felt like crap yesterday and didn't feel like myself, but i'm still afraid that it'll come across as being needy for her approval - and i know that's an attraction killer.

Please... Advice :-/
Also, thanks for reading!

[DalM0m]

Ignore yesterday. Play it cool & act like it didn't happen. You were having an off day. Do whatever you were going to do. When you ask her to be official she'll be more secure in knowing you like her. She may have been experiencing her own insecurities & when you weirded out around her brother, she interpreted that to mean that you no longer liked her rather than you were nervous.

[3mK]

Don't apologize to her about any of your insecure behavior. She'll see that as weakness and girls don't like weak. Just forget about it. Remember those balls you have and use them.

[AnErin]

If you have the receipt for the gifts, get your money back and spend the cash on someone far more deserving - yourself
If no receipt, a lot of places will still give you store credit.
A lot of people - men AND women, act in love and interested until they have sex then it is pretty much over.
I learned that the hard way with some weird woman.

This woman does not deserve your love, your care, she deserves NOTHING but ti be treated as a piece of meat. Get laid as much as you can but invite "trojan man" cause you do not want this piece of meat getting knocked up.

[pcmaster]

While agree that you might have more sucsess with direct(physical) approach is still good to show a little apreciation as long as you dont spend much money or time on her.

You can keep being cool if you interact with oher girls. I dont mean sex but just having friends that are girls or basicaly communicating with emotionaly/sexualy atractive girls to get her of your mind. Thinking about her while appart will make you only more invested and needy. What you want to do is not to make her your everything but just a healthy part of you.

Dont think what she can give to you but what you want to take from her and take it without hesitating and thinking. Get out of your head and use more your body in gym or whaever but this overthinking must stop. When you will be able to do it, instead of "does she likes you", you will think "do you like her".

I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me... now I look around and wonder if I like them.

Unfortunately, self love is more often than not mistaken for arrogance and selfishness in our society. The way I understand this message, is that, once you grow out of your insecurities and accept yourself as you are, you know that you always have the power of choice. You choose among the crowd people who will uplift you, mirror your passion, compassion, love, excitement... Learning to feel what you want and what qualities you desire to have reflected and amplified by the people around you is not arrogance, nor is it blind judgement (because not liking someone has nothing to do with them, but a lot to do with you, it does in no way mean they are bad people, just not people you feel you would like to be associated with at the moment. And even that can change with time). It is a sign of growth, acceptance and freedom.