I can't understand her

[Guitarit]

There's this girl who I met in class this semester that I really liked, and I got the vibe that she had a little bit of a crush on me too, but she's incredibly shy/introverted. You can tell that she's always thinking a lot and also has a bit of a complex where she's scared of judgement. In october, after knowing her for a month, I decided to ask her out, and I got an unsure answer. She said she was busy but maybe another time, so like any guy would, I figured she didn't like me, and let it go. She didn't say a word to me for a couple weeks, so I figured I creeped her out, and me being an idiot, defriended her on facebook to give her space, which really offended her. I re-added her and we started getting closer. She asked me to walk with her one day to our class as I was passing by, and she seemed like she genuinely liked me. Then I asked her out again and she seemed really put off about it, then backed out the day of. Annoyed, I decided to just straight up ask her if she was interested in me. She said that she doesn't date, and hasn't dated in the last three years of university, plus she's graduating and moving back home in two weeks (it's an hour drive from me) so it wouldn't matter. I took that as her trying to let me down easy, so I broke contact during thanksgiving break so I could get over it and move on. When we came back from break, she did something that she had literally never done, and sat right next to me in the beginning of class, and she continued to for the next few classes. Before this she'd kind of eye me from across the room and slowly take her time to have a conversation with me. Long story short, we started texting, and sending each other joking snap chats, and I said something about seeing a movie. She texted me and asked if I was serious, and I said yea. Then she invited one of our friends that we made in class along with us, even though I was making it obvious that I wanted it to just be me and her. Not much happened, but I got the vibe that she liked me the whole time, but was too shy to show it. Anyway, we kept texting, then suddenly one day when she texted me it just seemed really flat for some reason. She was saying that she was bored and had nothing to do, and quite frankly so was I, so I didn't have much to respond with, and me being a little bit of an asshole, I said a joke at her expense, because I had nothing to say, and I felt it might have crossed the line between teasing and being rude (She said people always tell her she's funny, and I said maybe they mean a "different" kind of funny). I got way too paranoid about it, and the next day I tried texting her and she wasn't really responding well, then suddenly she said that she feels like I always judge her. I started responding about how that's the exact opposite of what I do, and started trying to apologize and say I'm sorry that I make her feel that way. A few hours later I decided to give her a call to see if she's serious and make her realize that I was just joking. She didn't pick up, asked why I called her, then when I said I wanted to talk to make sure you don't actually feel like that, she responded with "dude, I'm kidding like 95% of the time". So now I realized that I just appeared too clingy and probably scared her away. She hasn't texted me all week, or sent me any of the snap chats like she usually does. I tried waiting a few days and just texted her about something small to get a conversation going, and it didn't last long. I'm shit out of luck, aren't I?

[DalM0m]

First paragraphs are your friends. Use them.

This girl doesn't seem to know her own mind. She probably made some sort of pact with herself that she doesn't date but then decided she liked you. Then there's the added complication of her graduating; do you really want to do an LDR? They are a p.i.t.a.

At this point, if you see her again, in person, I'd put it out there: I like you. I made that clear & asked you out a few times to get mixed messages. I'm cool with being friends (a white lie but it won't matter because your own real contact after she graduates will be FB & texts) but if you'd like something more, ball's in your court.

See what she does after that.

[ameliapearl]

Aww, I'm sorry you're going throughout this, it sounds frustrating. There seems to be part of this story that's missing, about her. Maybe put it out there like dalmom said, and say you like her next time you see her in person (too much room for hiding in texts or even calls) and see what she says... If she's still weird about it, you may want to just stop talking to her altogether since she seems to be so confused about herself that she doesn't make any decisions. You know?

[Trilium]

I'm introverted like this. She sounds interested in you as a person but AT THE SAME TIME maybe she doesn't want a fling before she has to be an hour away. Or she doesn't want a relationship with someone that is an hour away. She's acting like she wants to be friends with you and likes that you like her, that probably makes her feel good but she probably doesn't want more because she wants to focus on school too. Her bringing a friend to the movie shows that she isn't wanting a one on one date or to get too close to you. Bottom line, she's probably not looking for a relationship. If you are cool with being JUST friends with her, keep contact. If you want more, you might want to let this one go. She might not appreciate you pressing for something more when she's been clear about ending up being too far. Introverts like their partners to be the full package, it's very difficult to have that with someone that is far away.