Desperate need of some help

[Chocoholic12]

So basically ur saying I deserve what I get?

[AnoTora]

Basically, you have brought it upon yourself. And you will have to deal with the consequences.

[Chocoholic12]

Anyone give me advice as to what they would do in the same situation

[AnoTora]

If were you, I would tell my family were to go and go apologize like hell to my partner.
Okay, Maybe I am too blunt of a person, so to put in a better way, I would explain to my family that I love this man and they will have to accept that.

[Boisdevie]

I'd tell my family that it's my life and who I choose to marry is my decision. If the other person is good enough for me then that's good enough and if they don't like it then they can go and **** off. If I was engaged to someone and then they ended the engagement because of their parents opinion that they listened to and acted on then they wouldn't see me again - you've basically given the guy the finger. If I was him I'd be bloody incandescent.

[basilandthyme]

I agree with all that has been said. But I see another red flag which nobody has touched on: his behaviour at Christmas.

Yes, Christmas is all about the kids but to the nephews, you're hardly a blip on the radar. I'm not being rude to you, but the truth is that the girlfriend of an uncle really isn't that important to a child on Christmas Day. Him storming out of the Christmas celebrations and refusing to speak probably ruined the day for his family far more than your late arrival.

Truth is, he was probably mad at you for not being at Christmas and just using the nephews as an excuse to be angry. But either way, I'm seeing very poor anger management and a lack of understanding at how his behaviour would effect others. .....especially those enjoying Christmas day who he supposedly cared so much about.

[michelle23]

I am a doctor. He is trying yo build up a telecoms sale centre. I think my parents worry his income isn't reliable etc, he has had companies close in the past. But I know he has his head screwed on right this time. He knows he has made mistakes in business in the past. I completely see why he is resentful. I tried talking to my parents and told them I want yo marry him their response was he doesn't love u. I'm just really struggling and seem just to be hurting everyone

Failure is a part of being an entrepreneur. At least hes not a quiter-he got back up again and again and is learning from each mistake. That is admirable. You need to put your foot down with your parents and tell them your a grown woman, you make your own decisions and they can either support you or get out of your life

sorry but your an adult. Why are you letting your parents dictate to you. You love this man. He is your future

If I had to choose between my partner and anyone else-he would win hands down EVERYTIME and it would just make the decision easier for me if someone was forcing me to choose

the day you agreed to marry him-should have been enough for you to realize hes more important than anyone else..

[Chocoholic12]

I think I'm just worried of getting hurt n then having no one as selfish as that sounds

[ChloeGirl]

I think you should focus on getting things right with your boyfriend and not concern yourself with your family. If you keep letting them control your love life, you'll end up settling for who they want you to have and you'll never be truly happy. You're working towards a life full of regret.

[Chocoholic12]

To be honest it does feel that way. Thanks

[Wakeup]

Well, being a mother of a young woman, I can honestly say that I'd be a little concerned with a grown man that has been unsuccessful thus far when my daughter is well established in her career. However, that being said, YOU need to make a decision. Either you accept his engagement proposal and continue on or you let him go to find someone that thinks he measures up just fine. You validated your parents opinion in that you too think you can do better when you refused his proposal.

[Chocoholic12]

Would you have said u were heartbroken n would never come to the wedding if ur daughter did.

[Wakeup]

I'm not that obsessed with controlling my grown daughter that I would forsake her for her romantic choices. Your parents are fools. You're grown and you need to be able to make your own decisions and sit at the banquet of the consequences of your actions like any adult.

I love my daughter and I wouldn't forsake her. You might want to talk to your parents about their bullshit. I'll add that my daughter is confident enough that she would call me on my bullshit and rightly question my love for her if what she was about to do was legal and within societal norms and I went and threatened her with something like that.

Are you Indian, Choc. Are your parents forming thier controlling nature from cultural means?

[Chocoholic12]

You know that's exactly what my partner said. Family should be there to pick up the pieces if needed not make the decisions. Really helped hearing from another parent

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I don't have much advice to offer. I just want to go on record saying, you are a spineless, cunt. Yes, you deserve whatever happens to you, and I hope this dude cheats on you.

Your parents are fools, yes, but so are you. You should learn to tell your parents, "**** off". That's what I'd have done in your situation.