How do I get back an ex girlfriend after 3 years apart?

[rlt13]

My ex and I dated for around one year before we broke up around 3 years ago. We basically broke up because we prioritized our relationship differently - she wanted it to be less serious because she was busy with her own stuff, whereas I wanted her to be more committed to me.

Long story short, she dumped me and the next two years were a roller coaster of emotions for both of us. I swear we "became friends" and "decided not to be friends" at least three or four times. We were pretty damn immature back then, since we dated when we were 14-15 and we were each others' first loves.

Anyway, I reached out to her via text a few weeks ago and asked if she wanted to hang out since I figured she would come back home for the holidays (we're both freshmen in college now). The last time we had talked/hung out was over a year ago. She agreed, but she said that this was "in no way a date or a sign or anything".

Honestly, I didn't even think I liked her anymore since it had been a super long time, so I told her not to worry and I wouldn't treat it as a date or anything. I ended up taking her to the weight room on campus to work out with me and she came over afterward to watch a movie with me at my house.

I felt all those all affections slowly coming back as we hung out, and I swear I have never seen her so comfortable around me in a long time-more so than all those other attempts of friendship we had earlier. But, I had already told her I didn't like her anymore so I made every effort to act that way - no hugs, no sitting with her on the couch, acting polite and kind but not flirty.

I can't explain it, and I hope I'm not just imagining it, but I swear she is interested in me again. Subtle comments here and there about how much more in shape I am and teasing me about my size (I started lifting in September and I've bulked up like 15 pounds), and several other things. She even offered to come back to the gym with me before she goes back to school in two weeks.

My question is, since I only have about two more chances to see her before she leaves, how should I handle it? I'm afraid that if I come on too strong within the first few meetings, she'll feel too intimidated. At the same time, if I'm too subtle, I might let a chance slip away since I probably won't see her again for several months. And on that topic, is it even smart to start a long distance relationship at this point in my life (college is full of new opportunities and people) with an EX?

Any advice is very appreciated

[basilandthyme]

Even if you could get her back, I'm going to cast a vote for not bothering with a long distance relationship. Let her go and start afresh with new college girls.

[rlt13]

Even if you could get her back, I'm going to cast a vote for not bothering with a long distance relationship. Let her go and start afresh with new college girls.

i see where you're coming from, but at least right now there isnt a girl that i am more interested in than my ex. not to say im obsessed with her; its more like im not really impressed with any other college girls yet

[RipVanWinkleX]

Do you give the girls a chance to impress you? Isn't that the point in dating? To get to know them?

[rlt13]

Do you give the girls a chance to impress you? Isn't that the point in dating? To get to know them?

if you mean my ex, yes of course. the things that i described did not sum up our afternoon, they were merely highlights that i wished to bring up. she did most of the talking in terms of talking about school and work and other stuff, and we ended up doing the activities that she wanted to do that night. i even offered to teach her my workout routine but she told me shed rather just spot me and watch

and if you mean the other girls in my school, i havent really been looking for a relationship, so i havent been "dating" anyone yet. what i meant by "not really impressed with other college girls" is that there isnt anyone that catches my eye like my ex.

[smackie9]

I think your feelings are making you see things that are not there.

[rlt13]

I think your feelings are making you see things that are not there.

well damn, i certainly hope thats not so. but it is a possibility for sure.