Ex girlfriend wants to talk...........

[Suffolk_Mikey]

Hi,

Rang my ex GF up by accident on Saturday. I typed in a number for a local take away but some how it got through to her (hard to believe I know).
I don't have her number saved or even know it off by heart and it was lunch time and I was sober. Felt like an idiot lol.

Anyway, I told her what has happened and we both laughed.

She then asked if it was ok to come pick something up sometime and can we have a talk then.

I said yes sure.

Anyway.......... I don't know what she wants to talk about. She finished with me 4 weeks ago out of the blue after 4 years of smooth relationship.

I've not contact her for over 3 weeks and that was to arrange for her to come pick up her things.

I still love her that's for sure and I'd listen to whatever she has to say.

IF...big IF, she wants us to get back together, I can't help thinking that she will just string me along until someone else comes along.

Anyone had this happened to them? How would you deal with it? Or what she might say to me?

Just hope she doesn't tell me she has found someone else or that she has been unfaithful while we were together and wants me to find out from her and not from others.

I'd rather not know anything about it if it was anything negative.

I've been positive about things over Christmas and New year and learned new skills, kept busy, exercise, keeping fit, meeting friends and family.

So now I really don't want any negativity if I can help it.

[JJ 109]

My ex erratically broke it off too, about this time last year after 4yrs. This spring, we got back together again. it was never the same. I always felt insecure about the relationship. She knew it and became very difficult. It was a mistake and I knew it, but I loved her and held onto hope it would go back to the way it used to be.

Now after another 6 months she did it again.

My advice is to not even meet with her. If she wants to get back together, it will never be the same. You will always have resentment and worry she will do it again because you now know she is capable.

If she has bad news, you have nothing to gain. It will be just for her to make herself feel better at your expense.

good luck, know your pain.

If you know any tips to make it easier, post it. I have been trying to stay busy, etc too, but it is still really hard.

[Suffolk_Mikey]

Thanks for replying and sorry to hear.

I have been cheated on in the past so when I got into a new relationship I used to get paranoid and ended up pushing them away. But not her, not this last one. I have been completely relaxed and positive throughout the 4 fantastic years we have had together.

We used to go on holidays together every year and she used to come with me whenever I visit my family and friends and enjoyed doing many things together.

It's hard to believe but we never argued. We always used to talk and be honest about everything whether it's the way we dressed or if we've put on weight. But everything was always positive and we were always happy.

So it came as a massive shock 4 weeks ago when she came over one night and just said she doesn't want all this anymore. As in moving to my town (half hour from hers), moving abroad together in a few years. She is 25 and i am 34 so perhaps she is not ready to commit yet which I understand fully and respect her decisions.

I must say if she does want to get back with me, I'm willing to give it another try. You said it won't ever be the same and I truly believe that too but unless I give it a go I won't ever know.

I find keeping occupied really has helped me through these last few weeks. I like to exercise and keep active, walk the dog, do some housework. Shame it's winter here or I would normally be out in the garden and do a few bits.

I know it's probably a little too soon to start dating again but the whole point of me wanting to have a girlfriend is so that I have someone to share my life with.
I am very independent and have lived on my own since I was 17. I am not a needy kind of guy but it is so nice having someone there with you / for you. The thought that there's someone thinking and missing you, it's heartwarming.

[surfhb2]

You guys had a smooth relationship and she breaks up out of the blue? I find that hard to believe

[Suffolk_Mikey]

Me too, very hard to believe. I have always said to my friends it was too good to be true. It was totally out of the blue. If she was unhappy or did find someone else then she was real good at acting/hiding it as I never noticed a thing.