I think my gf is less intelligent than me and sometimes I’m bored, but I love her. Wh

[hbellamy]

I’m 21 she’s 19. She’s studying medicine and I’m studying electrical engineering. We’re together for 16 months, the last 4 months we’re in some kind of long distance relationship coz she started college in a city 3 hours from me. I can honestly say that I love her very much and we’ve had very happy moments. She’s a wonderful girl, kind, caring, knows how to love. I’m sure she loves me with all her heart, she’s proven it many times. I don’t know if I have the syndrome “the grass is greener on the other side” but I can’t help the feeling that she’s intellectually inferior to me and sometimes we just don’t have anything to talk about. For instance, she’s religious (not too much) and I’m kind of agnostic. We’ve had some little fights over faith and religion, for instance, yesterday was the Orthodox Christmas and I refused to do some fasting and I said that I think that religion overall is nonsense and she got a little mad at me and we had some argument over religion. The problem is that I offer arguments and evidence and she’s just saying that I’m not right and that nothing good comes from talking like that, and that’s it… I can’t have an intellectual conversation with her and that bothers me a little.

Other thing, I’m really interested in science especially physics and she thinks that’s boring. She had a physics class at college and when I tried to explain her some things she just doesn’t get it and she cries… I don’t blame her about it coz it’s really difficult and she didn’t have physics in high school like I did.

Also, I really like technology and I’m kind of an audiophile and I like talking about headphones and speakers but she just doesn’t get me and thinks it’s boring… Whenever I talk about it I only get “nice” or “cool” as a response… Also I like fantasy and sci-fi but she doesn’t. Last summer she started reading Harry Potter books because of me but she stopped coz she started college and didn’t have very much time. We have good time together, we laugh and she’s really grown on me, but most of the time we only talk about ordinary everyday things like college or similar and it gets boring… And now since we are on a long distance and we see each other every other weekend we mostly talk on the phone and sometimes it gets a little dull.

I’m not sure if she lacks knowledge or lacks intelligence or curiosity and desire to learn… Or maybe she’s too preoccupied with college (medicine is really hard) coz she tries really hard to have good grades… She doesn’t have any hobby or interest but she says she doesn’t have any time to read a book or to do something else because she’s too busy studying…

She has a really good personality , but she’s really naïve and she trusts people too much…
But besides all of this, I still love her very very much and I just can’t break up… I imagine how’d I feel if I never see her again and I feel very sad… Also she loves me very much and she’s very happy when she sees me. I don’t wanna loose her, she’s my main source of happiness the last 16 months, before I met her I was kinda depressed. We're very very attached, sometimes just the thought of us breaking up and never seeing her again is making tears in my eyes...


Sometimes I think intelligence is overrated coz once you get married you're not going to be talking about art, philosophy and science and the intellectual conversation attempting to be a deep-thinker gets old pretty fast. If you can laugh together and if she’s a nice person, good mother, loving wife is much preferable than being intellectually stimulated. You need someone to live with, not pontificate with…
What do you think?

[pcmaster]

Know how you feel mate. Knew a girl I was dating and it felt like shes stupid cause there was no much to talk about except work and her stupid friends. I stoped to date her and after year Ii was surprised how inteligent she is. She spend hat year in school studying hard. So this is fixed by time. If shes not smart now desnt mean she wont become inteligent, interesting person in future.

Ofcourse there are guys who pick up a chick mary her, cook up few kids and she becomes house wife and never realy stimulates her mind. Its better to get education and travel around before settling down. Life is like a movie, whatever you imagine is possible if there is courage in your heart to do it.
Its good that shes naive and trusting cause she trusts you since shes havent seen the pain people can cause you can learn from her. Many times being naive can actually work by achieving what others doubt. Also this can change with the years. So just enjoy what you have cause life is like a river and you cant step twice in same place. Do good things for eachother while you feel like it cause theres no such thing as true or untrue love its just a feelings that lasts for unknown period of time.

[vashti]

You think she isn't as intelligent as you because she isn't interested in physics, headphones and speakers, and Harry Potter? And because she doesn't care to argue with you about religion? And all the while she is studying medicine? Are you serious?

Why does she have to find the same things interesting that YOU do? To be honest, I think MOST females would find your interests boring.

[pcmaster]

While its great to find a girl who read at least one Harry Potter book you raely will met a gril who have read all of them. At least I never met(my sister did but shes a nerd). Perhaps you have to accept that females are a little simplier and men are generaly smarter. Cant as for bananas from apple tree.

[Starnique]

You think she isn't as intelligent as you because she isn't interested in physics, headphones and speakers, and Harry Potter? And because she doesn't care to argue with you about religion? And all the while she is studying medicine? Are you serious?

Why does she have to find the same things interesting that YOU do? To be honest, I think MOST females would find your interests boring.

This.

Your GF is not the problem. You are. Just because she is not into the same boring things that you like doesn't mean she's not smart. Medical school, although very rewarding in the end is pretty difficult while studying. It takes a lot of perseverance. If anything, you may not be compatible as far as interest but that doesn't make her any less smarter then you. She obviously does care because she took time to learn things that you like and even read Harry potter. You lucky she did that because I probably wouldn't have. I would've tried it but that's it just to be more open. She love you and care for you and if u wanna give all that up over a few damn books and headphones then that's on you. You seem very condescending also. Like her physics class. Maybe you made her feel worst because of the way you was explaining it. Get over yourself.

[TheEvilJester]

I will say this, I LOVED science in high school. Physics was even one of my favorite subjects for Science. ...Yet I don't think I'd want to sit around talking about physics. Not to mention, no offense intended at all, but I don't think a lot of people would find talking about headphones and stuff like that very interesting. Granted, I know that a lot of people would, but I'm sure you'd find the majority of people you meet would have the same sort of interest level as your girlfriend.

She is studying medicine, and you are questioning her intelligence? Unless she is flunking out left and right, I think just the fact that she is studying medicine is enough evidence to say she is probably pretty intelligent. To be in a relationship, you don't have to have EVERYTHING in common. You definitely SHOULD at least have some common interests. But you don't necessarily have to enjoy all the same things. So, maybe she doesn't like headphones and Harry Potter. Are there others things you both like?

In the end, it all comes down to if the relationship works for the two of you. So, I wish I could be of more help, but I think this is one situation where we can't really offer you much advice. You'll have to kind of wrestle this one out in your own head. But, I do wish you the best of luck in figuring it out.

[UKRomantic]

I think you need to find someone else... Someone that is into the same things as you.

Because you clearly seem to have a problem with people not liking what you like.

[pcmaster]

I think guy just thinks what he likes is importand and interesting but what others likes is meaningless and kinda shallow.

[searock]

Sometimes I think intelligence is overrated coz once you get married you're not going to be talking about art, philosophy and science and the intellectual conversation attempting to be a deep-thinker gets old pretty fast. If you can laugh together and if she’s a nice person, good mother, loving wife is much preferable than being intellectually stimulated. You need someone to live with, not pontificate with…
What do you think?

LOL, I totally don't agree. I would never be happy spending the rest of my life with a guy with whom I couldn't have deep conversations with and who didn't stimulate me intellectually. Of course laughing together is very important and so is being with a good person, a good parent (if you want to have kids) and someone that is loving and caring... I'm just saying that intellectually stimulating is just as important. I would die of boredom otherwise and I would no longer be attracted to him after a (short!) while. Even laughing together would be a problem, if we didn't "click" intellectually.

That being said, I also believe that the fact that she doesn't share the same interests as you doesn't imply that she isn't as intelligent as you. However, this doesn't mean that you aren't intellectually incompatible. She doesn't stimulate you intellectually and you don't stimulate her intellectually... I think you'll both be pretty bored of each other soon enough.

[HeartIsAching]

I dare you to audit one of her courses. Physiology or chemistry if you can.

[surfhb2]

Op.....you're just starting out in life....you're only 21. Once you figure out who you are as a person then you can start throwing throwing judgements and opinions around on the type of person you want to be with.

All the smarts, books and physics knowledge only gets you a good career. It doesn't amount to shit in the real world of relationships and living.

Just have fun. There are many things you don't understand or have interests in too.....if we were all the same life would be boring. You know? Kinda like physics and high end audio equipment?

Btw....if you break up and meet new girls, please don't talk to them about headphones and speakers.....you'll be single a long time

[surfhb2]

While its great to find a girl who read at least one Harry Potter book you raely will met a gril who have read all of them. At least I never met(my sister did but shes a nerd). Perhaps you have to accept that females are a little simplier and men are generaly smarter. Cant as for bananas from apple tree.

Omg! Did you just say women are simplistic and men are smarter?! Lol.

A simple women huh? I wish ! Haha

[pcmaster]

That previous post was just a joke actually. I dont actually value girls by the number HP books they have read.(Althought life would be simplier if I would)

Well man In everyday life its not noticable but when you go to top level then man is who are taking leading role in world. Presidents, best scientists any kind of sport(including chess) you will see man are leading force. But ofourse in reality females are just as good. Most guys I know hold their girlfriends a bit lower not taking seriousy that they are somehwhat better cause they find it hard dealing with girls who have high confidence or higher value. Maybe this guy naturaly assuming hes better than girl and that makes being able be dominant and confident in relationship instead of becoming a bich. And in the end girls hate pussies.
I mean while women like to feel, apreciated, taken care of andimportand they dont like guys(doormats) who they can roll over with their character.

[vashti]

Well man In everyday life its not noticable but when when you go to top level then man is who are taking leading role in world. Presidents, best scientists any kind of sport(including chess) you will see man are leading force.

That's only because these career paths were unavailable to women historically. If you want to see who the future leaders are, have a look at university enrollment. You will see that females significantly outnumber males.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

University enrollment doesn't mean shit. If it did, you would still have to look at the STEM(science, tech,engineering,medicine) enrollment to see where the leaders are going to come from..check female enrollment in those programs.

Like I said, it doesn't even matter, look at all these bums with degrees waiting tables, living with their parents.

I do think women will continue to have more prominent roles, and I think it's a good thing.