In Doubt

[KristiniaOPM]

Hello, strangers!
I'm new on this site and would love to get some love advice about my current relationship. I've been dating this guy for the past three months, we met in September. The relationship is okay, but I think we're moving way too fast.
For example: we had sex on the third date I think, he started talking about kids and marriage the third week we were together. For Christmas he gave me a new IPod, whit is considered expensive where I live and he's only 23.
I'm afraid of commitment and don't trust people easily, so being in a relationship with a guy who's been too much too fast makes me insecure and doubt everything. I'm not really in love. I know that because when we're not together I don't miss him and I only act as a 'sweet girlfriend' after we have sex. So sleeping with him makes me feel something for him. Which is off course... well... bad, no?
Plus, in the periods I'm sooo in love with him (so when we see each other at least two days straight and there's sex involved and we're only with the two of us - i hate his friends -) i get really insecure because for me he seems acting really shady. He puts his phone on silent when with me, but I do see he get's messages all the time and he's facebooking. He always turns the screen away from me and that kind of childish stuff.
He has a past of being a player and the iPod kinda scares me off. My friends hate him and we're really different.
But... when we started having sex I suggested being just friend with benefits. I wasn't really into him, but we did get along, and I didn't want to invest my time into a relationship.
But he insisted and eventually we're exclusive and his family knows me and invites me for diner on holidays.
I know this is confusing, but I'm confused because I don't know what to do.
I'm happy when I'm with him, but I don't get butterflies. There's no passion and I'm not really impressed by him, actually. But on the other side I'm scared he'll hurt me. I just don't know what to do. I miss being single and I hate it when he starts asking me if I would ever cheat on him or not, but on the other side I'm lonely and going through a crappy period in my life.

[Blanket]

I think you need to talk to him. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and if you express what you're feeling you might be able to figure out exactly what you need to do. Explain to him that it's going too fast, and that you just want to slow the pace down until you're both on the same page.
Although I'm in the same boat with the phone situation, in your case I don't think it's a lot to worry about. You can always bring it up and say he doesn't need to hide his phone from you, and that he should trust you because it's making you uncomfortable now. Good luck!

[KristiniaOPM]

Hi, Blanket. Thank you for your advice.
I talked to him. He said he understood me and I had nothing to worry about. He told me I could trust him and that he really wants to stay in my life, so he won't do anything to fck that up.
But every time I begin about the distance thing, he kind of gets mad. Before we started this I told him I could be very dramatic and sometimes insecure and paranoia, just because I don't trust people easily and that I'm a real commitment fobe. He told me that there was no pressure and I just need to chill.
And honestly this is my first 'real relationship' and I've noticed that I've changed and I hate the fact that I see my friends less and that my guy friends are put aside because he doesn't like that and gets jealous.
And I'm really doubting whether or not I should keep seeing him. I miss being single but I also like having him around. And, Blanket, you're saying we should be on the same page, but I don't think that's ever going to happen if I DON'T CHANGE.
And I'm just afraid of my own judgement. I'm not experienced enough to know when I'm in the right or he is. It's like he's steeling my soul or something. I know, kind of drastic.
Thank you for replying.
Greetings!

[surfhb2]

Well this is the exact opposite on how people should feel in a new relationship. Begs the question.....why are you still with him?

[KristiniaOPM]

Because the guys before him were sooo wrong for me but I was sooo in love with them and ended up hurt. But he's really good for me and I feel like maybe I am in love but just afraid. And by the way I have no idea how to end it. Seriously, he's really emotional and he'll probably stalk me.
He did that with his ex...

[KristiniaOPM]

By the way, I think he gave me the iPod so I wouldn't leave him. Because I tried, like three times already.

[surfhb2]

Don't know what to tell you. So you feel a guy who would stalk you if you broke up is the best choice for a relationship? Get therepy for your fears please

[KristiniaOPM]

You might be right on that one, surfhd2, but I don't know how to dump him

[pcmaster]

Well you cant trust a guy who keeps these secrets from you. On the other side as long as hes good to you why should you care? Just take the best of him and enjoy while it lasts. Meanwhile sort out your life.
If you want to leave him then give back Ipad and learn to be happy on your own or find a better guy.

The first video might help.
http://www.loveforum.net/threads/856...l-with-breakup

[surfhb2]

You might be right on that one, surfhd2, but I don't know how to dump him

Tell him: " I'm sorry but were not going to work out....thank you and good luck"