What else does He want? he already has everything!

[Minimomo]

ok, this is a bit of a story so please bear with me,
at the beginning of November I was admitted to an Acute Psychiatric Unit, where i stayed for 5 weeks. the reason i was admitted was severe depression, codeine addiction and the most important reason was that i was suicidal.
during my stay there i was visited by my husband only once, and the other two times he came in was because the doctors wanted to speak to him. i had already identified that most of my difficulties came from the relationship, so about a week before i was released i had already decided that i wanted to separate, but i was going to leave telling him until after the chiristmas. it was agreed between the doctors, him and my parents that i would be discharged to my parents house so i wouldn't be thrown straight back into the tumult i came from as i was still quite fragile. now, during my stay in the hospital, it was always ME who phoned home to see how everyone was doing, he didn't phone once, although he was very good at convincing the doctors that he was THE supporting husband, etc. even on the day i was discharged he didn't bother phoning me to see how i was getting on being out of the unit for the first time. in fact when i phoned that evening from my parents house, he barely spoke to me and told me that my 5 year old didn't want me at his nativity play, which was on the following morning.
I didn't go to the nativity play because i didn't want to upset my son, but i did call into the house to see the children that evening (i am trying to rebuild a bond as in the past few months i had lost all motherly feeling towards them, it was almost like looking after someone elses children. the doctors say that this can often happen with clinical depression so i hope that the love will return)
anyway, when i was with the boys that evening i asked my 5 year old how come he didn't want me there, to which he answered "i did want you there, how come you didn't come"....
i called twice more that week for an hour. when i called the monday before christmas (exactly one week after i was discharged), and i went upstairs to get my laptop so i could use it to update my phone, my husband (or should i say ex) came running up the stairs after me and told me that my christmas present this year was a seperation, to get my money in order and switched to another account because our joint account would be no more after the 8th of january etc.
since then he's becoming nastier and nastier, i've seen the kids once since then, he's claiming that i am talking to people about him and telling lies, which is not true (and he won't tell me either who i'm supposedly telling these lies to), i haven't spoken about him to anyone, goodness sake the only people i'm talking to are my parents and doctors and one friend. and that one friend i don't talk to about my ex. it's now gone so far that he won't answer his phone, so i text him about seeing the kids. he says not unless he can get a social worker to be present. i went to the courts yesterday to summon him concerning access.
i mean, what else does he want? he has EVERYTHING! the house, the three kids, the car. i don't want custody, all i want is 1 hour to see the kids per week, thats all. no more. he has everything else
why is he doing this? i just can't understand it

[smackie9]

Ummmm well I would say he is protecting the kids because of your mental state, as you said it's fragile. Any parent would have taken the same action. I think you should focus on getting better, and work with a therapist, before you see your kids. Just imagine how they must feel, that their mother is mentally sick and had to be committed.

My mom and her little brother went through the samething with their mother. It was a very difficult for them seeing what she had to go through because in those days they used electro shock therapy. You are lucky you have modern medicine and better therapy for treatment.

You need to take a step back and look at yourself and where you need to be. Going to court fighting over visitaion isn't going to help you or those kids.

[AnErin]

People tend to get REAL greedy during a divorce. Maybe you two have not filed but divorces start long before any papers are actually filed.
I do not know why people fight over material things. I am divorced but for me and my ex, I pretty much said "take it" to most of our junk. To fight for it would have cost us more than the value of what little we had. I tend to think people fight over material things just to hurt the other person.

It used to be that everything wrong in a marriage was the man's fault no matter what. The man lost everything including the money, house, car, kids, dog, goldfish, whatever. Yet he had to keep paying for everything. I do not know how it works these days. Seems more and more, women are getting bent over. The best you can do now is fight for your own rights. Courts are still pretty sympathetic to women so if your mental problems stem from how he acts, play on that best you can.

[smackie9]

She isn't inqiring about why he got the house, etc, she wants visitation rights. Telling the court that she is mentally ill because of him would not play in her favor to see the kids.