The Love Doctor is in town

[The Counsular]

I am a professional psychologist and I am offering my services for free to anyone who has questions concerning relationships. If you have questions it would be my pleasure to answer. Take care and remember, there are plenty of fish. Dr. Forrest

[GrkScorp]

lol... oh oh... lol... looks like aaron has some competition...

[Steve2004]

psychologist, eh?

are you aware you spelled counselor wrong?

[whaywardj]

Just a little confused, I think, Steve. I don't think this guy knows whether he wants to be a diplomat or a doctor.

[misombra]

lol.

he's biprofessional.

[GrkScorp]

actually.. I do have a question...

A very close friend of mine who happens to be a guy has been going out with this girl for more than 2 years now. They went to the same High School, are going to the same college, and are taking the same classes BOTH going in for law school.

The guy is more of a down to earth, sensitive person who always had these one night stand fantasies and dreams of going out with hundreds of women. He's really a great guy though. The girl is also really nice, very quiet, and this is the first guy she's ever gone out with and had sex with.

I asked him a while ago if he was planning to marry her, and he looked at me like I was crazy. I understand that it's too early for him, and I told him so, but that did not seem to be the issue for him. Instead, he blew me away when he told me that he wouldn't want to wake up one day, next to her and start to think that he's stuck with her... while giving up the chance with everyone else...

It sounded to me that he's not ready to commit yet, and to add on top of it... he said that maybe one night he may get the urge to have sex with some girl at a club or something, and doesn't want to be in the situation where he would hurt his girlfriend.

Do you think that he is being logical at all about this? I told him that it would simply be unfair to his girlfriend at this point, but he did not seen to agree. This got me really scared since this is the friend I always turn to for advice. Now I just don't know what to think of him anymore. Please Help...

[Tone]

Oh boy....

[Aaron Blanc]

Well, It would be very unfair to his girlfriend if he were to even think about getting married and have him think of everything he is missing. This is actually the reason most men cheat. What his girlfriend can do, is take him to a club, find an empty place, and they can have sex. This should be fun enough for both of them to get a kick out of it, but if his girlfriend is reserved, then this may very well still be a dream of your friends'.
I do not feel that it would be fair to either of them, to back out of this relationship. Two years is alot of time, and they both do not seem to have any major problems thus far. Your friend does not sound like he has unrealistic sexual urges, but rather, someone that he may be friends with may very well be putting a great deal of pressure on him.
Sensitive men have lower levels of testosterone, which will result in a lower frequency of sexual urges. Thus, your friend's problem is not physical lust as much as it is phycological regret and turmoil.
It may very well be that he does not feel satisfied with his partner and seeks to find gratification elsewhere. Since you can talk to him on such a personal level, I would advise you to try and make him talk things out with his girlfriend and find some sort of compromise. In the mean time, let him understand that he is not actually feeling these urges, but is rather being pressured by some other group of friends or even family.

[whaywardj]

"Sensitive men have lower levels of testosterone, which will result in a lower frequency of sexual urges."

[The Counsular]

Dear Friend, Everyone has different paths that they chose in life. You are obviously young being that you have friends that are still virgin or sleeping with virgins. What you will find in life is that by the time you hit 26 there will be absolutlely no virgins anymore. Well, give or take a few years. Your friends actions seem to be quite normal for the age. His chances of marrying anyone who he meets at this age are very slim even if he does have good intentions. Actually your friend sounds like a healthy minded young man. I know that now sex sounds like a big thing but every girl must lose there virginity some how. The same is true for every man. 99% of the time you will lose your virginity on some partner who will turn out to be a mistake. 99 percent of the first few relationships a person has are nothing but mistakes and learning curves. There is really no other way around it in the western system. My advice to you dude, is losen up about sex but don't forget that it is a special thing and also a thing that can get you in big trouble if you don't use protection. Otherwise, explore and enjoy. Take care... The doctor

actually.. I do have a question...

A very close friend of mine who happens to be a guy has been going out with this girl for more than 2 years now. They went to the same High School, are going to the same college, and are taking the same classes BOTH going in for law school.

The guy is more of a down to earth, sensitive person who always had these one night stand fantasies and dreams of going out with hundreds of women. He's really a great guy though. The girl is also really nice, very quiet, and this is the first guy she's ever gone out with and had sex with.

I asked him a while ago if he was planning to marry her, and he looked at me like I was crazy. I understand that it's too early for him, and I told him so, but that did not seem to be the issue for him. Instead, he blew me away when he told me that he wouldn't want to wake up one day, next to her and start to think that he's stuck with her... while giving up the chance with everyone else...

It sounded to me that he's not ready to commit yet, and to add on top of it... he said that maybe one night he may get the urge to have sex with some girl at a club or something, and doesn't want to be in the situation where he would hurt his girlfriend.

Do you think that he is being logical at all about this? I told him that it would simply be unfair to his girlfriend at this point, but he did not seen to agree. This got me really scared since this is the friend I always turn to for advice. Now I just don't know what to think of him anymore. Please Help...

[GrkScorp]

OoOooOo... aaron's got some competition... lol... u hear that... THE doctor... as in not just A doctor... but THE... one and only... lol... ok.. i'm done now... just had to get that out... aaron... u rule...

[Steve2004]

OoOooOo... aaron's got some competition... lol

You know you said that twice.

[whaywardj]

What the **** happened here? Got a "Dear Abby" thread going on, er what? Sheesh. How cheesy. And so AWEFULLY wrong on sooo many counts.

[Asip4u]

love doctor? yea...and i'm Elvis Presley...

[Only-virgins]

I am a professional psychologist and I am offering my services for free to anyone who has questions concerning relationships.

I wouldn't give a peanut for you advice. What makes your advice better then mine?. Psychology is the most bull shit career and subject created by the human kind. Its so relative that it shouldn't even exist...technically..I am a professional as well..we all are. Experience guides relationships, not school.